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Anti-Monogamy: why be faithful?

Tagged as: Cheating, Teenage, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 December 2009) 8 Answers - (Newest, 20 December 2009)
A age 26-29, * writes:

What is so great about being true to your girl?I was in a situation where I had 2 girls within my grasp( both are awesome hot might add) and they live so seperately that they would never heve met.Perfect dual relationship conditions( i dnt call it cheating no more). I chose one over the other and now i'm in happy(hate this word) relationship-the other girl didn't take it so easy.Had I juggled both it wuda been a win-win-win situation but the demon named monogamy ruined that. So please expain: y b faithful?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009):

Well obvs if it didn't happen and you didn't date two girls at once, your conscience got in the way, plus wouldn't it just be hilarious if one of them had two other boyfriends and you were the third on the go

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Muchos gracias for your answers thus far. I'm going to keep this briedf because I intend on replying to each of ya'll individually...your opinions are so interesting.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009):

So is it ok for the girls you are dating to have other boyfriends in addition to you?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009):

Google "Polyamory".

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A female reader, Sincerely Yours United States +, writes (20 December 2009):

Sincerely Yours agony auntWhy be FAITHFUL? Because being faithful is something that two people sit and agree on. If you want to be in a relationship in which you both diddle other daisey's, then go for it and be faithful to your agreement to sleep around. If you say you're gonna be some way, be it. That's what faithful is (in this context).

But otherwise, if you have two "OMG HOT" chics and you can't decide so you go off and cheat, then that's just messed up.

Most people believe that for a man is a woman and for each couple, all things are held between them including emotional and sexual. If you feel in love, you would hate for the girl you love to fall in love with someone else. (i hope). And that feelings of insecurity and jealousy and heartbreak is what monogamous people will feel if the affiar is either sexual or emotional, because either way they are devoted to that one person and that devotion should not be violated. To violate it, would make people feel worthless and untrusting in future relationships. It would take away hope, and add paranoia and fear. If you have feelings, then you should not want anyone to feel like that sort of dirt.

People don't cheat because they know it's hurtful and/or they love that person.

But hey, there are plenty of swinging girls out there who are open for threesomes. Just find one of those, and don't even try to be mono. with someone because if you can't understand it, then you can't be it.

~sy

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A female reader, AngellicaWaters United States +, writes (20 December 2009):

AngellicaWaters agony auntIt's not a matter of being faithful to one person or another as far as monogamy goes. It's a matter of being faithful to your word or the implied relationship you are having. If the woman you are with thinks it's monogamous, being with someone else would be pretty wrong.

There is something wrong with hurting other people and being dishonest with them.

There isn't anything wrong with being up front about what you are looking for (if that is dating more than one person) and trying to find women who are into that as well.

There are a lot of people who don't necessarily believe in monogamy, but who are also honorable and honest about it and are not into harming others. That really is the point.

There is a point to monogamous relationships. If you can find someone who you are compatible with emotionally, intellectually and physically and can be happy that is great.

Most people don't realize that all three of these things need to be present for a great monogamous relationship. So they end up with only one or two and start looking to people outside of their relationships for these things.

Women are a great example of this. In a typical Male/Female relationship men offer very little emotional compatibility for women and they look to their female friends to fulfill this need, but they do it in a platonic way.

Men usually go about fulfilling these desires in less admirable or honest ways.

Be upfront and honest and you are more likely to find what you are looking for than you will with lying or being deceitful.

I wish you luck.

-Angellica Waters

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (20 December 2009):

RAINORFIRE agony auntlol great question, i think its a personalmoral choice. In many societies its perfectly normal for a man to have more then one woman, most western societies are based on fundamental christian ideas so polygamy is not allowed and the practice mutual partners is frowned on by the culture as a whole but its well known that men for some reason tend to enjoy multiple partners, theres some quite famous ones that have made a livng off of their exploits. If you look at the animal kingdom you will see plenty of examples of the males with many females try explaining lion king to a six year old theres one mufasa and 12 Nalas lol but hey man you got do what you gotta do. I think the biggest reason for a monogamous relation ship is because of STDs less partners the less chance of dying from some horrible disease. When you get your game up to par you can have two GFs that both know each other and will join in on the fun, but i guess your not quite there yet.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009):

You can have two or more girlfriends if you are upfront about the arrangement you want. If they assume monogamy, or you agree to it, but have another girl anyway, that leads to trouble.

Some girls won't agree to polygamy, but some will.

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