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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of two years and i are both virgins. I have known him forever and know that there is no chance that he has ever slept with anyone and therefore he has no std's. We are considering trying anal sex but i was wondering how important it was for us to use a condom. Is there anything we should be worried about? Or be careful of?
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anal sex, both virgins, condom, std Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tammy1205  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Hi,
I wouldn't have anal sex. I've done it once with my boyfriend of 1 year and it hurts! And you will probley hurt for days and days. It just isn't natural. If you really want to try it make sure you are totally turned on and in the romantic kind of mood. You have to be able to concentrate on the intimacy of it to enjoy it at all.
Hope this has helped
A
female
reader, LustyLisa +, writes (3 November 2010):
If you are having any kind of sexual experience with a partner, male of female, you are not a virgin anymore and to me that includes oral sex too. The body is sacred, not the orifice. Since you both have an anus, why can't he go 1st!!!!!
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/keyword/anal%20sex
Related questions.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (2 November 2010):
SOmething for you to think about - are gay men who take part in anal sex still virgins? Even if they have had multiple sexual partners over a lifetime?
What is your opinion on that? Because that is essentially what you want to do here.
Any type of sexual intercourse is classed as sex, vaginal, anal, or oral. "virginity" can be taken in many ways.
You say you are adventurous, but I dont think you have any idea of what is involved here. Have a look at some of the other questions on DC, it may give you some insight as to what to expect.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/anal-sex-to-try-or-not-to-try.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-normal-to-bleed-after-anal-sex.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/we-have-anal-sex-and-stuff-comes-out.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/bleeding-after-anal-sex.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/two-days-after-anal-sex-and-im-still.html
Good luck. I hope the choice you make is the one that is best for you in the long run, not just to please your boyfriend.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (2 November 2010):
 Of course he was able to rationalize it... he's a horny young man!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your input...our thought was that we wanted to save our virginity for our wedding night. And i know it sounds a bit backwards or confusing but he didn't think that anal was the same as vaginal sex. Vaginal sex is more sacred and important. We both had mentioned trying anal before and had kinda decided we should wait till we have vaginal intercourse but after thinking about it more he believes that they are totally different and that its ok to have anal before regular sex. And i just kind of went along with it because i am a little adventurous and i figure we'll end up doing it someday anyways. I just wanna make sure we are safe about it.
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A
female
reader, Natalie:) +, writes (1 November 2010):
 Virgins considering anal sex?? If this is a religious thing I though the Christian god was more against sodomy than regular sex? If it's some kind of way of believing you'll still be virgin you won't because anal SEX is SEX. If your just brave then go for it. You can get special anal condoms and would recommend them for the lube they have on them. Your brave!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (1 November 2010):
Having anal sex doesn't maintain your virginity. Sure, your hyman may still be intact, but anal sex is still sex.
Condoms are important for all sex. You should get used to being safe in your sexual practices.
celtic_tiger really did a wonderful job answering this question, I just thought this point needed to be made too.
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A
male
reader, mrvhappy +, writes (1 November 2010):
If you are both virgins, why dont you try vaginal penatative sex 1st before you embark on anal sex.
Vaginal sex may hurt you the 1st time depending on what you have done in the past. Anal sex (esp 1st time) may be even more painful...you have to be very careful and use lots of lubrication.
If you are going to have vaginal penatative sex, always use condoms unless you want an unwanted pregnancy!!
When you get round to anal sex, using a condom is always a good idea & remember never go from having anal sex and then have vaginal sex as you may pick up an vaginal (uninary) infection due to the bacteria that is present in the anus.
Hope this helps
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (1 November 2010):
You are virgins, but considering trying anal sex? You are braver than me!
You have yet to experience what sex is all about, emotionally or physically. You have no idea how normal vaginal sex may affect you or your relationship.
Anal sex is not for everyone, and most women probably would never even consider the idea (I know I wouldnt. He would get a swift kick up the backside if he asked for it). The vagina is naturally lubricated and designed to expand during intercourse - that is its natural function. The anus is not, and anal sex can be very painful for the women, if not causing damage. Putting it bluntly, your bottom was not designed to have things put up into it. This means you have to use lots of lube and be VERY relaxed otherwise there is extreme pain and sometimes bleeding - just do a search of the questions we have had on this site.
Why not stick with the normal stuff before you go exploring more extreme and kinky sexual practices. If it went wrong, it could scare you and put you off normal sex.
As for the condom - YES!!!!!! ALWAYS use a condom for sex. Even if it is anal sex, think about what comes out of your anus? Think of the germs and bacteria that live in your gut? You might not have to worry about the normal sexual diseases as he is a virgin, but other infections and cross contamination could occur. Always wear a condom, and if you decide to then have vaginal sex as well, make sure he puts a clean one on - again you do not want poo and other nasties inside you!
Also, if he ejaculates inside you, the semen could leak out and into your vagina making you pregnant. Pregnant without vaginal penetration. Think about this. Is it worth the risk???
I would be interested to know who suggested this, you or him? Please do not rush into this if you have ANY doubts at all.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): Just so you know, it is possible to get pregnant without vaginal penetration. There have been cases of girls who still have their cherries intact becoming pregnant. Sperm just has to come in contact with vaginal secretions and work its way up. I would use a condom.
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