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An ex has started to give me a kiss!?!

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 June 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 July 2010)
A United Kingdom, *edPoppy writes:

My ex has started to kiss me on the lips when saying bye after not doing anything so personal since our divorce 2 years ago when i've really stayed very much out of his way. Recently we bumped into each other several times and he made a deliberate thing of kissing me goodbye! As far as i know he's still with the ow he went off with almost the minute i left him.......... and he's not the kind of guy to play about with two women. He went off with her because he honestly thought i had left him (neither of us realised i was desperately unwell with depression and ocd) I've addressed these problems and moved on with my life and live happily on my own which i'm sure he knows....[Mod note: I assume the poster would like the aunts' input on what this might signify.]

View related questions: divorce, kissing

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A male reader, AvgGuy1 United States +, writes (7 July 2010):

AvgGuy1 agony auntIt sounds as though HE might have moved on and is just showing affection in ways that he previously recognizes as acceptable. On the other hand, if he is single he might still have feelings for you and might be interested in getting back together (you might want to ask him about his situation).

If he is not single, I would try to avoid him... if at all possible... because of your previous relationship with him... the mixed signals are confusing you and it's obviously making you uncomfortable.

In the event that you do meet up with him accidentally, or otherwise (say sat at a party). Distance yourself from him as much as possible especially if you're having a conversation with him. Maintain considerable personal space between you and him. This will make it difficult or awkward for him to hug and/or kiss you.

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A reader, RedPoppy United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2010):

RedPoppy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys for your input. I've suffered with depression and ocd all my life without actually realising it. We had a marvellous relationship and were total best friends lovers and soul mates. Mostly we both laughed at my funny behaviour and just got on with things until i found myself heading for a volcanic explosion and ran away from him, my home and everything i knew in life. I thought i was happy being on my own and not 'doing' all the things i used to do 'before' but i wasn't, i was just kidding myself. The breakdown was the best thing that ever happened to me because now i know i am not mad or weird or a crap person. He's a decent sensitive man and the kisses are confusing because he knows i still love him and he's with someone else and it seems in conflict with how he should behave if he's happy with ow. Maybe i should just come out with it and ask him if he's happy with her and why is he suddenly kissing me? I've nothing to lose as i haven't got him in my life any more so can only move forward and not back.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (26 June 2010):

AuntyEm agony auntIf you had depression when you were with him, then it's probably a good idea to avoid him now. The past cannot be changed, you have dealt with your issues and are now happy. If you see him and he tries to kiss you again, you need to let him know that he can't do that anymore.

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A female reader, duhmaris United States +, writes (26 June 2010):

I honestly believe that you should address the problem.

1.) Do you still have feelings of want for him? You two were married and had a very intimate relationship at one point, so you can't ask yourself if you love him, because you do. Even if it's not the same love as before.

2.) Do you want to be with him? Were you HONESTLY happy when you were together? You were obviously at a different level of mentality, and I am so happy that you have your depression and OCD under control (: But being that you are completely different now from then, will you be happy tied down to what is basically the same man?

3.)Is he worth confronting about this or do you just want to avoid it all together? Find out how he feels about this. Before he does it, hold him back and ask him, "Why are you doing this?" He may not have been the two man kind of guy, he may be now. Maybe he's not with home girl anymore. Find out where he stands on life. Non-chelantly speaking of course.

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