A
male
age
36-40,
*oul83
writes:How do you deal with your partner being away from home so often?My gf has just launched her career as an international guide and already her schedule is so full that she is lucky to spend 1 day at home every week. Understandably I'm quite upset with this new arrangement. I had envisaged her having at least 2 weeks every month free for us to be together.I'm playing around with the idea of creating an open discussion forum for all of those who have partners in this industry.Serious answers only please. I don't need to be told to 'have a baby' or get married or anything ridiculous like that.Additional DetailsI am after responses from those who have to experience being away from their partners on a regular basis.I do not imply for her to quit her job. I never complain but rather give her 100% support.She carries around a small hello kitty doll to each country so that she is reminded of me and we want to look back on it. She wishes I could join her. Actually we are saving to travel around Asia together and we have serious plans of settling in Australia within the next 2 or 3 years. By that time she will have finished her job in China and come back with me. Meanwhile I will continue my work here in China helping students of all ages to study English. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, soul83 +, writes (28 June 2010):
soul83 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I have heard of that crap happening. And actually would explain why she is reluctant to let anyone she works with know that she has a bf.
After all, when she goes away we stay in contact everyday and she always messages that she misses me. When she comes back, she is fine.
The problems are becoming more and more endemic with our relationship. It could be external factors at play but it doesn't seem like it. One problem is her lack of patience. She tries to fight anyone and anything. She's nearly caused her mother to pack up and leave, fought with the real estate agents and now she has me about to pack and go home. Why? Because she was upset with me last night and claims to not have the feeling of love with me anymore. Emotions aside, that's still a pretty damning thing to say. Why did she say it? Because I have failed on oral sex a couple of times with her recently and cannot find the spots that used to work. She started to run me down and say I'm not good enough. Makes me wonder to who she is measuring me to? Usually it's her own strange standards. After a day or two she calms down and calls me feeling guilty.
No amount of crawling will fix it this time I think. It feels very different and maybe you have a point about her recent overseas tour, dr.lance.
A
female
reader, yowie +, writes (28 June 2010):
 my partner is not in the travel industry, but he is away from home a great deal because of his job. Earlier this year I saw him for only 10 nights out of 30.
I won't lie, I find it very hard. Especially when he gets used to being by himself, doing whatever he wants to when he wants, and then suddenly he comes home and has to take into account what someone else wants - it doesn't always end well at the time.
We are both aware that it is difficult for each of us, so we text each other morning and night, and talk when possible. Communication is very important.
Best wishes
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather  +, writes (26 June 2010):
 Please don't think I'm implying that the following applies to your g/f but, having travelled around China on four separate occasions as a tourist, the following may be of interest: Each visit I employed the services of a professional personal tourguide, as interpretor, finder of places of interest and as a travel companion. Now, I am late middle age, not that good looking but on each and every occasion, I have had an intimate relationship with all four tourguides, at their instigation. Each was early-late 20s and very attractive. For their part, it was purely for sexual satisfaction as they never wished to continue after my holiday.Just saying friend, women have needs too. Take care.
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