A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together about 10 months now and the only issue we really fight about is her ex boyfriend who she is still friends with. Now, they only dated for a month or two and then decided to be friends.. which I was generally ok with. However the extent of their friendship sort of bothers me and whenever I say anything to her she just dismisses my feelings, telling me I'm being jealous and insecure. I feel this way because A.) He calls her about once a week to complain about some random minor thing in his life and she goes into the other room to talk to him privately and pour sympathy upon him.B) I only met him once in the whole time we have been dating and he told her afterwards that he thought I was being possessive of her (but I was only invited to join them after an hour of being alone at a restaurant because he had to complain about his roommate and apparently couldn't do it in front of me)C) About once a month she will go over to his place for dinner and wine alone, when I am at work and not available. these issues make me increasingly uncomfortable. I do trust her and love her but do I have a right to feel this way or am I overreacting?
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at work, her ex, insecure, jealous, roommate Reply to this Question
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female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (15 December 2010):
 You have every right to feel this way. Dinner and wine alone when you aren't available? My bf would go through the roof. I'd tell her she needs to reevaluate her "friendship" with this guy. Would she be comfortable dealing with this if it were you in her position?
He thought you were being possessive, that's not a good sign that he would tell her that. It irks me that you have only met him once in ten months and that she can't talk to him in front of you. A relationship should have no secrets and you should be her best friend, not this guy.
Were they intimate in their relationship? I would talk to her. Tell her, " I love you. I am not jealous or being possessive. I think that your relationship with what's his face is inappropriate. Making me wait at a restaurant for an hour before I could join you? What was that? Does he have no one else that he can call and complain to? You need to decide who you need more in your life because I'm not going to do this in a relationship and I will find someone else who can respect that."
She wont' like it, but it needs to be done.
A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (15 December 2010):
your insecurity is absolutely understandable
many people revive feelings to their ex's
especially if the contact is intense and continuous
between both of them and ESPECIALLY if her relation with her ex was serious ( the had S@x )
you'd better be aware about what is she exactly doing with him
but try to find it out in your own way because being so clingy well get your gf to be more silent about what is going on between her and her ex and remember that women are detail oriented and have more linguistic skills so they can confute when confronted
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): ~EXCUSE ME?~
NO!...and if justication is needed..PROMPTLY DISAPPEAR.
~POINT BLANK~
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