A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi agony aunts, hope you can help.Years ago i had this boyfriend. He was romantic, passionate, funny we were so in sync andthe sex was fantastic he was so in tune to my needs, however i was very young at the time and a very difficult teenager to be around so we broke up. Hes that one guy that you wonder 'what if', hes the one that you just cant get out of your mind and no matter how nice a guy your with itl never be how it was with him.However, years have passed now and im in a relationship with someone else. We have been together 2years and live together. My boyfriend cannot cope with been single he has LONG relationships that last a long time. When he is single its never for long. We have a good relationship, we live together we get along well we have a good laugh hes absolutly head over heels for me and i love him and care about him. the sex is mediocre however. As a woman it takes a while to get ready for sex, the bath before can take hours if you really make an effort 'preparing' yourself. So when i lie there cuddling after feeling disapointed and unsatisfied and feeling like it was a wasted effort is heartbreaking. Sex is an important part of a relationship. It never happens often and when it does its just okay. He never goes down on me and when he does he complains about it makes it seem like its a chore. Ive been patient with him, ive gone down on him first, ive talked it out with him i bring it up every 3months or soto give him chance to change. Its just its been 2years now and i do love him hes the sort of guy you should marry but then i cant bare to imagine having average sex forever.This makes me wonder 'what if' especially since everytime i think.. forget about the other guy concenrate on my partner! the other guy will message me flirting ect and make me wonder what if. Its almost as if he knows. He never talks of a relationship its always just sex but even so most relationships start that way i cant help but feel that im meant to be with him over the years fate keeps trying to throw us together but the timing is always wrong am i being ridiculous or am i with the wrong guy? Please help me im so at war with myselfThank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2016): You are still young and maybe you shouldn't be living with someone who does not suit your needs. I would consider leaving the relationship and be free for a while. Then you can pursue a future that is right for you regardless of whether that includes your ex.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (13 January 2016):
 Why are you taking these messages from your ex' talking about sex? Doesn't that seem dishonest? Would it be OK if your current boyfriend was doing that with his ex? No, I don't think you would like it.
You would be doing your current boyfriend a favour by getting out of his life and letting him find someone who totally loves and respects him. You obviously have a flexible morality which is incompatible with a true and lasting relationship.
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