A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm horribly confused. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now. At the end of both our leases were planning on moving out together. I'm really happy with our situation and finally feel comfortable being near someone so much. But lately things have been really crappy for me and haven't been getting better, bad living conditions, loss of immediate family, and I'm loosing friends for reasons I don't know (most likely we just have both moved on in our lives)... I've become very depressed and I'm loosing willpower.I've always been a happy kind of person, I go out of my way to do what I can for people. I am however a tough person to break an emotional barrier with and I know it, it took me 2 years before I really meant (and even said) those simple words "I love you". My girlfriend will tell other people about how she is so fulfilled by me, and truly feels complete with me. I don't doubt her word for one second, not one. My problem is the more I open up the emptier I feel with her. I'm not depressed and upset 24/7, but it feels like, and it has felt more and more this way, every time I just need even a simple hug like that "hang in there thing" when I feel really low I have to request it. I have to ask for her to stick around instead of going out because I'm sick and something obviously very shitty just happened to me within the last 24 hours.Am I too needy? Does she maybe not understand my emotions? What? Sincerely,Confused
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice. I have been looking up doctors lately, I know I'm really messed up right now.I forgot to say but I have talked to her directly about it a few times. She understands and says she really wants to help me work through this, and she tells me she doesn't think I'm being crazy or needy.... But, a week goes by after talking and something else happens, like one recent instance was where my roommate basically demeaned me calling me soo many things for no apparent reason to her in private. She tells me about everything he said and she even talked to his best friend who had no clue why my roommate feels this way... She stays with me for the night and the next day comes over after work and I ask her to stay just for comfort, she says she's going out instead but will come back early from this club.. I fall asleep waiting for her and in the morning she acts like nothing happens.Stuff like this keeps happening to me lately and I don't know why. Whenever I talk to her she says understands and apologizes. Than when it actually happens again its like we never talked...Hence I'm confused if I'm being to needy? But its further confusing that she says she really understands and tells me I'm not asking for too much.
A
male
reader, rk06 +, writes (12 June 2007):
 Hey bud, I think I may have been through the same thing before. Those emotions really suck, and I feel for you there.Whenever I feel all depressed, I think of all of the good things God has given me. I figure any day that I wake up is a good one. Know what I mean?As with the relationship. I think that maybe you should show her what you have posted. She seems like she is quite in love with you. The way she is acting is something very hard to find. I think she would understand your situation, and try to help.I wish you the best of luck.
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (12 June 2007):
 Would have to agree with yummy mummy on this one, sounds like because of all you have been through you are suffering with depression and a visit to your gp will make the world of difference, as i have been through similar depression problems and since the medication has kicked in i feel like a completely different person.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (12 June 2007):
 We all go through a shit patch in life, or a bad year. I'm sorry to hear you have lost family members.
Sit and have a talk to your girlfriend about it. Explain to her about your emotions. Ask her if she feels you are being to needy. And explain that you would like her to stay in and spend some time with you because you are feeling a little low.
Could I also suggest you go and see your doctor and see about getting something to help you out maybe. I went through a bad patch a few years ago and never came out the other side until I went to see my doctor and was given some meds. They do help, and I also went to see someone to talk about my issues. It felt so good talking about everything with someone who didn't know me or anybody in my life. It helped wonders. Dont feel bad about being down or depressed as everyone goes through it at some point xxxxxx
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