A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a college student who dated a foreign exchange student a couple years ago, and now I'm dating another one.Although my bf and ex have different mutual friends, I'm concerned about my reputation. I don't want people to think I only have non-commital short term relationships. Because although I have put myself in difficult relationships, I take them just as seriously as any other relationship. My bf knows about this and is fine with it, but I'm afraid others will circulate odd stories. My parents think I'm an idiot and my friends are concerned. They don't want me to get my heartbroken again due to his leaving. I have plans of working in their country after graduation and I have family there. But I wonder if I'm getting to ahead of myself. Either way, I feel like I'm stuck in a limbo because if I date a local student, I will eventually leave him to go abroad. Am I ruining my own reputation or am I overthinking things?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 April 2012):
 You do care way too much about what others think or say. At the end of the say what difference does it make? If others gossip then that says more about THEM than it ever will say about YOU. But honestly, I don't see why people would gossip about this, it's really not that big of a deal, nor anyone's business.
Exactly what "reputation" is it that you want to keep, since you are so afraid of losing it? And why exactly should a reputation, and what other people think, control what YOU should do in your life? What's ridiculous is listening to what everyone else wants you to do rather than do what YOU want to do. It's your life, not theirs.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012): Overthinking.
If I was your father, I'd be delighted you have plans and ambitions so you're thinking long term and big picture rather than already shacking up with and/or being knocked up by some deadbeat loser townie.
If DC is any indication, a whole lotta people don't care about their own reputations or even their own futures and, inevitably, those of their unplanned children.
Only opinion regarding your reputation that matters is yours.
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