A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Why is she behaving this way? I'm I right to feel upset?My dads distance relative. I call her my cousin. We were really close when we were young. But now were all grown ups now and were not close anymore. We hardly ever talk.I told one of our natural friends that we were cousins but she told our friend that she's not related to me. I was kinda hurt when I heard that but I let it go.She doesn't speak to me at all. Is like she has something against me. The same natural friend told me that my cousin said she had something to tell her about me. But she couldn't say it cause her bf was there.I asked her but she said my cousin ended up not telling her anything.Anyway. My cousin is getting married and I thought I'd be in the wedding seen as we're family and we live in the same area.But I'm not. She told our mutual friend to tell me I will be serving at the wedding. WtfWhy didn't she tell me herself and I kinda feel insulted that she wants me to serve food.My family and I I've not heard from her family that she's getting married but words gone out that she is.I really don't want to serve her guests.
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (13 April 2012):
 You don't have to serve food at her wedding if you don't want to if she asks tell her to bugger off.
If she doesn't want to recognize you as family, stop calling her a cousin. She doesn't deserve a "family title".
I would also stop talking about her to any mutual friends. You don't really share anything with her other then mutual resentment, so be the bigger person and don't gossip, don't talk smack. Pretend she is a total stranger.
As far as not being invited.. *shrug* why would want to go to a wedding of someone who acts this nasty towards you? Really? If it was me and I got an invitation or offer to "work" the wedding (serving food/drinks) I would totally turn it down.
She sounds full of her self and I would let her and her windbag self alone.
Let it go, she is not worth the time. (unless you like drama in your life)
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (13 April 2012):
 You dont have to serve her guests, so stop worrying about that.
As for the family ties, maybe she doesnt see distant relationships as cousins, I know a lot of people who dont bother with the second cousin, third cousin etc labels.
People do grow apart as they grow up, they develop different interests and form different social groups, they especially grow apart if they dont remain in contact from when they are children.
Don't stress over any of this, dont discuss it with the mutual friend, dont get insulted if you are not invited to the wedding, you havent remained close and weddings are getting so expensive that sometimes not even close friends and relatives can be invited. As for serving her guests at her wedding, you are not under any obligation, and if you dont want to do that, well dont! Nobody can force you.
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