A
female
age
22-25,
jbv820
writes:I have this guy that I've been with for almost 6 years. We have 2 children together, a 4 year old, and a 1 year old. I really do love him, but I don't know if I should let go. He is a great guy when he wants to be, but I have so many trust issues with him. When I was pregnant with my 1st child, he left me for a girl that was just that. A girl. For heaven's sake, she is 6 years younger, and that was a huge issue being that we were young ourselves. They grew up together, blah blah blah. He persued a relationship with her for about 3 months, and I didn't know until a while after. I assumed, but I didn't know, or I didn't want to believe it. He told me when it started. He said he met someone and that he didn't want to be with me anymore, and he told me her age. Once I heard that, I got upset and said to leave my house. He said he was only joking, but I know now he wasn't.We got back together, had the baby, and a few months later, I started hearing a lot of stuff. I was logged on to his aol account, and she was on. I im'ed her and she told me that they were dating and he said the baby wasn't his and we weren't together at the time. It turned out that we were together when they started and toward the end as well. I confronted him about it. He said they just kissed but that was all. I know he is lying. I've had other encounters with other chicks, and it always happens during the summer. He finds some excuse to break up with me, and then he messes around. But we aren't together is what he says and that he doesn't have sexual interactions with them and they are just friends. Recently, I was checking the computer history and I found he was checking her out on an internet friend service (kind of like myspace). I cracked his code and found out he sent her messages saying that he couldn't approve her as a friend because of their past history and he misses her brother (his best friend who is in the military) and misses her a lot too. She responded back as well. He reads me well and kept asking what was wrong. I didn't tell him. I just said that I was a little worried because I knew his friend was coming to visit and he is her brother and I didn't want any drama. He said no. I asked how long ago did they talk, he said he couldn't even remember when (Lie). I ended up telling him and he said that he was upset at me, and he didn't know why he messaged her but he didn't respond back when she got back to his message. He said he wasn't attracted to her and that I have nothing to worry about because he is happy with me and the kids and he wouldn't do anything to jepordize it. What should I think? Should I believe him, or let him go? I don't want to put up with it, and I don't feel I have to. I have done so much, been through so much with our family, it isn't right, and I sure as hell don't deserve it. He was so infactuated with her in the past, and know he is talking to her again. When I was pregnant with my 2nd born too, I found her number in his cell phone. I don't know what to think or do. Am I just putting too much thought into something small, or just not trusting him the way I know I should???
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best friend, got back together, military, myspace Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Of course you can't believe him, you know that, silly!
You can't trust him and he is a liar and he will stay that way so you have to decide what you want out of life. He's not changing, by the way.
This is horrible what he is doing to your family but it will get worse if this has already been going on for so long. He already left you once and he'll do it again when he finds someone else. I think what you are putting too much thought into isn't whether or not you can trust him, because you know you can't but whether or not things will change if you just "hang in there".
Instead of continuing to look through his things and investigate, start spending time thinking about your future and what you want for your children. I don't think this guy is going to be good for you long-term.
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