A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Im not a very assertive guy, and i feel that i have let my gf walk over me a bit too much recently, i have let most of my past flames controll me and walk all over me, i do not like to upset people and often go out of my way just to make people smile or feel that iv satisfied them in some way. Im getting a bit tired of my GF taking the mickey, she has recently started getting grumpy and being down and cold towards me, not talking at all somedays anymore.i have been very nice and let her see her ex, she see things in black and white, or so her mum says, "theres nothing in it so why should he not know" kinda thing. i still dont like it at all that she sees her ex, and she knows this. does not understand why i feel threatened and jealous by him n the fact she sees him when shes not seeing me or going to the gym. she owns a car, but dosent drive it very far because she is too scared to drive out of her town, she often complains she cant see very well when she does drive, especially in the dark, yet the other night she drove in the dark to see her ex grr. i told her that it felt like she was taking the piss and that i feel she hasnt made the effort with me to drive down. we live an hour away from eachother n it winds me up that i have to drive her back to her house on the weekend just because she fergot something like her hair straightners, it costs me money, which is my second pointshes started getting very bossy and controlling, mainly when it comes to money. i understand shes trying to help, but when im told i cant see my friends because i cant afford it takes the biscuit, she is in a similar situation to me this month, well into our overdraft limits, yet shes allready arranged to go out with her friends. lead by example yeah right!Iv also been told by her that i dont do enough to sort out my debt. wrong again, iv changed in my car 9my biggest outgoing) for a cheaper one that isnt at the low end of my budget, but isnt at the highest either, when it comes to cars i want comfort, and luxury. but she tells me my choice of cars is crap and too expensive, the minimum value for a car im restricted to is £2500 or the finance company lose out on re-loaning me a new car. so iv gone for one thats a good medium and im happy with. shes told me shes on her wicks end and really trying with this relationship. which to me sounds like she wants to leave....she says she dosent want to leave, but i need to sort out my money soon. she often tells me how much better off her ex is than me, and i want to turn around and say stop seeing him because u compare him to me everytime u see him, her mum has also stopped supporting her from seeing the ex to suddenly saying that i should be wary...hmm odd is her mum throwing me a line here? or am i just being paranoid? when i aks how was ur evening or something along those lines, i get the dont you trust me ticket, even if i was genuinely interested how things got on. it seems like everything gets turned on me :/ now im confused if it is me or her or both.is this a matter of not being assertive, me being paranoid and over-sensative or just being plain difficult? what do you think? what is your insight? - bacon
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female
reader, girl from bristol +, writes (2 February 2010):
hi i think she is not showing you any respect at all and you should find somewhone better why is she seeing her ex if she is not interested in him
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