A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, my girlfriend and I have been dating for 10 months now and are in a LDR. I don't want her to think I'm to clingy. I ask her to keep me updated what she's doing throughout the day but not every second like what she's eating or anything. I just want to keep talking to her and let me know what she's doing. If she's busy I'll say okay and let her work. But I don't want her to think I'm too clingy and for her to start pushing me away. I tend to text and call her first throughout the day but is this what guys are supposed to do? Sometimes, when she's watching a movie i think she would rather do that than talk to me when I mkae some sacrifices to talk to her. So someone PLEASE tell me what is considered "to clingy" as well as answering my question.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): I don't think texting a few times a day is too much at all but I think you have to be careful about what you talk about, don't ask too many questions and if you want to talk about deeper things then you should talk on the phone.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks for the responses. Usually we dont text during the day because we both have school and she has work after but at night we usually start to text and call each other. I want to know if once or twice a day is TO much?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): I'm in a LDR at the moment and we just email each other about once or twice a day, with the occasional text or phone call (like every 2 or 3 days). That works perfectly for me. But you should talk to her about how much contact she would like because everyone is different. My last boyfriend would text me first thing in the morning and want updates all the time throughout the day and it drove me nuts! I couldn't get anything done and I eventually felt like all I did in my life was text him, yet he was still wanting more! I couldn't handle it, but maybe that's what she wants. Personally I think how will she have anything to tell you about if she's spending so much time contacting you? Ask her what she wants and don't feel bad if she says she'd like less contact. You both need to get things done in your day and it doesn't mean she loves you any less.
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A
female
reader, dindestress  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 from a girls point of view,
i am in love with my boyfriend, and he does travel alot, and he does act alot like you do. sometimes a few hours without talking can be refreshing..it gets her to think about you..and miss you. if you are talking every second of the day, she may get annoyed and start thinking you are clingy. and i know you may get curious with what she is doing and will eventually want to ask..but when you do..make sure it doesn't sound like you are interogating her, ask her casualy,like its no big deal(even if you are really intrigued with every word she is saying)in every successful relationship there always needs to be that element of mystery.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): Please don't be like that, it'll drive her away. I was like that so much with my girlfriend for such a long time, always texting her and pestering her to reply, asking a lot of questions and stopping her from doing normal things, and now she doesn't want to be with me anymore. You have to let her live her life when you're apart, you can still talk but you have to get on with your life too, I know it's hard but it's for the best because you really do not want to damage your relationship like I damaged mine.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 September 2009):
I'm in a LDR, but I don't text her as much as you do. I usually text her once in the afternoon and then in the evening. We phone once every two days. The best thing to do is to speak to her about it. Thats what I did. She'll tell you whether you need to back away or whether everything's okay. If it's a trust issue, you have to ask yourself whether you can handle an LDR.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): I've been in a long-distance relationship before, and what we did was a call every night and a little bit of texting/IMing throughout the day. If you're talking to her every few hours, I'm worried it may very well get to the point that she has nothing to say to you or that she's wishing for a longer uninterrupted period of time to go out with friends, watch a movie, or get work done. It's good that you're trying to keep close contact, but you need to let her have a life. Besides, if you two talk less often, it will seem more like a treat - I know this from experience.
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