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Am I "bi-curious" or is this just "normal" behavior?

Tagged as: Crushes, Gay relationships, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 April 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 April 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, *livekitteh writes:

I'm 17 years old, and I have never been in a relationship, romantic or sexual, with any man or woman. I've had serious crushes on men before (one lasted for over two years), but have never had any feelings towards any women at all. I am most definitely attracted to men, but I've been questioning my orientation as of late. I like looking at women, but never in a sexual way. Sometimes whenever I see a pretty woman I'll think, "Oh she's really pretty" or even "She has a nice butt/legs", but I don't feel anything sexual or anything at all towards them. I'll think it, then move on. They're almost like appraisals or short observations. At the same time, I also think about what it would be like to kiss a girl or what it would be like to make out with one. Sometimes I even catch myself fantasizing very briefly what it would be like to kiss/make out with my (pretty) female friends. These thoughts don't occur often though, and they only usually come up when I'm actually in their presence. Otherwise, I don't think about it at all. If I were ever presented the opportunity to do either of those things with a girl, I don't think I would do either. It just seems too awkward or foreign to me. :/ I've seen girls kiss before too, and it doesn't turn me on in the slightest. I have a few bisexual friends who have hit on me before, and the most I've ever responded with was a weak, "...Okay..." and laugh it off.

Are these normal thinking processes for someone who's never been in any kind of relationship before (and I'll admit it, almost starving for one)? Or is this just bi-curiosity starting out? I just want to get this off my chest, and I'll be glad to hear anyone's thoughts on this. Thank you in advance. :)

View related questions: crush, move on

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A female reader, PerhapsNot United States +, writes (18 April 2012):

PerhapsNot agony aunt"I like looking at women, but never in a sexual way. "

Welcome to the rest of the female population. All women check out other women. It's completely normal and natural. If you don't feel anything sexual towards women, you are not bisexual or bi-curious. In order to be considered bisexual or bi curious you would need a sexual component. Creating hypothetical circumstances don't count. Everyone contemplates the what-ifs - the negative, positive and bizarre- it's a human thing. You're completely normal, just inexperienced to fully know that you're normal.

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A female reader, agonyauntsanonymous United States +, writes (17 April 2012):

In my opinion thats very normal not only for your age range but for anyone whether they have been intimate before or not. If you were to ask me, i would not say you are bi-curious however you know yourself better than anyone of us on this site. And you know what you like. I hope that helps.

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