A
female
age
51-59,
*efuddled
writes:We had been going out for 13 months. During that time he has gained about 40 pounds and I know his self-esteem was low. He was invited to a friend's 40th birthday. He constrantly aske if I was going, I declined because I thought it was a boy's night out. His friend tells him to make sure I come, that everyone is invited. So I go after being told that he wants to spend time with me. He deserts me for the entire evening. When I find him, I gve him a kiss, he holds me at arms length and looks to see who was watching. A woman showed interest in him and he was flattered. My boyfriend lied to a woman and said he was single. He also lied to me and said she knew all about me. Basically it was a night of endless flirting, we are usually together at night. I understand and I forgive and forget. His self-confidence was on the line.Fast-ForwardAfter making me feel bad about not introducing him to my Parents, I decided to call my them to visit and spend the night. Mind you it is a long trip away and I made all the arrangements with my Parents.2 hours before we were to depart, he called and said he was going out with his friends. I went to the house to pick up my overnight items and got into a fender bender. So trip even for me was cancelled. He asked me if I needed him, I looked at him and said you have plans. He replies but I am here right now. They called me to check to see if we were okay today. The told me to tell him not to worry, they totally understand and no problem; we will do it another weekend. They don't know he backed out at the last minute. When I tell him this he replies, oh that's really great of your Parents. I point out, they don't know you backed out. I lied to my Parents because I was embarrassed.He claims to be genuinely sorry and he took responsibility for his actions but I feel what he did was disrespectful to myself and my Parents. I do understand people make mistakes we are all human. I feel like I am the consolation prize if a bigger better deal comes along. I am not good at giving people more than a second chance. Am I being unreasonable?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): Flirting about being single, letting you and your parents down at the last moment. Not good.
I know his had confidence issues in the past, but it dosen't sound like he's got them anymore. Instead, in my humble opinion, he sounds like he's developing a strong personality as a number one overconfident, arrogant, selfish jerk...... You put up with this? Why?.... You better talk to him now before this goes any further... His got confidence now, he's a big boy, he can take it..
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