A
male
age
,
*ld_love_turned_sour
writes: Am I a fool to think that after all her other relationships she can be mine alone and not just one of her *****?Am middle eastern man who was 24 (now49)when I first met this middle eastern gal in college in the US. I was able to feel so good with her that when I had to leave the US to work in Saudi I could not let go of her. I could not come back in a year's time but had to go back after 18 months. During the time her letters/phone calls she told me that she loves me and can not wait to see me. When I got there she told me she no longer love me and is not interested in me anymore. I asked her to let me stay close to her for my vacation and will go after that. In the end of that period I found she was pregnant and had an abortion. Was able to win her back. 4 years I was in Saudi and she was in Lebanon where cause of war I could not always get in touch with her. I left Saudi to be with her for her to tell me she loves me but was with another person who was an ex lover for comfort, but tells me believe me I love you. We were togther for an uneasy two years yet it was not an easy sailing all the way. She left me saying we can not be togther cause of our religions and that we are to use our mind. I got married and then divorced after 13 years. I met her online to find her back in the United States. We talked online for a year, and all the time I was asking her to marry me again. Her signals were initially mixed. She came to Lebanon and I thought that my job was to bring her love out back. She slept with me and I thought we are getting there. She was moving a lot to do things she had to so I was never under the impression that she was with others too. The day we were saying goodbye to her before she was back in New York she told me that I am one of her close buddies, and that she was with others while there. That she never promised me that she is mine, and that I can ask her to be with me any time yet she will never be mine alone. What do you call such a person. Am I crazy to hold on to her. What do you think I should do to move on. She made me feel so dirty I can not begin to describe it.
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male
reader, old_love_turned_sour +, writes (31 July 2008):
old_love_turned_sour is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have been thinking and reading and read about Polyamoury ... sounds like the deal here, but am not sure I can live with that idea
A
female
reader, FM  +, writes (28 July 2008):
perhaps, if you are still in contact with her, tell her you want to be with her on her terms. tell her she will set the pace of how fast or slow your relationship will go and make sure you keep to it if she agrees. do not ask anything of her. let her decide when she wants to commit, and be prepared to accept the fact that she may never want to commit to kids, family or marriage. she might have issues with commitment maybe from past relationships, try to talk with her about this. if she refuses to take you back like this, then you have to let her go. good luck and all the best.
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A
male
reader, old_love_turned_sour +, writes (26 July 2008):
old_love_turned_sour is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo answer FM reader is that I have been married in one of the periods and even had my own relationships while in Saudi away from her. Yet I was never able to find my soul resting except when I was with her and she was with me alone. This time when we met maybe because of the pressure I was putting on her to marry me I did not even feel it from her. That was a big sad part.
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A
male
reader, old_love_turned_sour +, writes (26 July 2008):
old_love_turned_sour is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo answer FM reader is that I have been married in one of the periods and even had my own relationships while in Saudi away from her. Yet I was never able to find my soul resting except when I was with her and she was with me alone. This time when we met maybe because of the pressure I was putting on her to marry me I did not even feel it from her. That was a big sad part.
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A
female
reader, FM +, writes (26 July 2008):
I think this girl is using you as her fall back guy for when shes lonely or when its convenient or bed buddy, she shows no sign of wanting serious relationships or commitment. she doesnt care about you, like you wish she would.
you need to think of what it is thats making you hang on to her, is it just memories of a time in your life you felt at your best, or is it her pesonality/looks etc. maybe you are just clinging on to her because you want to feel like you once did, try to move on, find someone new who will give you the time and attention you deserve and you will soon forget about her.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (26 July 2008):
 It sounds like she has made her wishes clear to you: that she will happily meet with you, but won't marry you nor commit to a monogamous relationship.
You have two choices;
1) Accept her terms, and see her without putting pressure on her to be exclusively with you.
2) Don't see her any more.
To answer your original question, it does not sound like she can be 'yours alone'.
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