A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am sittin here angry....why becoz I have a Man (boy) in my house that thinks he is my boyfriend. However, we have as often a nun and a monk....and he does not work, I cook, I clean, I do it all...as he sits and watches, doing his thing....we use to talk every night via phone when there was space between us, now it's like he got here and things all changed....what is it that I can do??? what did I do....is he just going to use me for money and a ruf over his head???/what can I doI hate being angry all the time....im stressin out....gonna loss my house, my car and I lost my job and all over this Man-boy....and for what.... Im nuts...A frustrated Women
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female
reader, missaqua777  +, writes (27 September 2009):
 u should show him this thread and then kick him out xx
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  + ♥, writes (26 September 2009):
 This is not a very good thing here. It seems he's just trash. You need to kick him out and get your life back.
You're not his mother either. What he's doing is using you. Plain and simple.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (26 September 2009):
 I wouldn't even consider this guy a boyfriend, more like a liability, expensive dead weight. Only children are entitled free access to your resources, not adults. A boyfriend is supposed to add to and complement your life- anything less is just another liability. Yeah, it's pretty bizarre that you would allow someone else to put you in a position where you lose all the things you worked hard for. It's hard to believe you'd even consider him worth it. Then again, some people will do anything not to be alone.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (26 September 2009):
 A woman can either play one of two roles in any man's life:
mother or lover.
She can not be both.
A man sees woman as either one of two roles in his life:
Ally or enemy.
The conflict here is that a woman resents being his mother, when she wants to be his lover. BUT, a man sees both the "mother" type and the "lover" type as his ally, and does not understand why a woman would resent him.
This premise of mother-lover theory is at the heart of my entire seduction philosophy. I have written about it extensively.
As for what you are doing...you need to stop doing certain things. You need him to do things for himself, and resist your own mothering instinct. That would be a first step. If he is not even interested in getting a job, KICK OUT THAT LAZY BUM.
Have you told him how angry you are? OR do you just hold it in out of some fear of conflict, or fear that he would abandon you? There are worse things than being alone: Being with the wrong person.
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (26 September 2009):
 Please see my previous answer on this subject.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-keeps-mooching-off-my-bank-account.html
Then send your story to her she needs to hear it.
I have seen this all too often. The only solution I have seen work is to return the defective to it's maker. Kick him out. You are right he is using you. You have already lost respect for him. He isn't fulfilling any of your needs. You have nothing to lose.
FA
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