A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm feeling pretty crappy these days after 11 years of marriage. Both sides of our family insist on pointing out what a tramp my wife was as a teen and the things she did in bed with her ex HB. He apparently made things known. I knew a lot about my wife in the beginning. I know she had a terrible childhood. She was neglected and turned to boys. I get it. There were many, but I never thought of her as the whore some of these people want me to think. I admit, I don't care for the latest details I've heard, but what am I supposed to do? She loves me. She has proved this over and over. I know she doesn't do things in bed with me she did before, but does this make me a fool? This is how these people are making me feel. I am now thinking about it more than I want to. I'm starting to wonder if I gave up 14 years(11 married) for the wrong girl. Why do I feel this way? These are some of the comments being thrown at me from her side of the family. It really hurts.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): LoveGirl says :I think I remember your previous post.
Perhaps you should link it.
If you both love each other so much, why did she lie to you? She has been withholding 'proper' sex and she is still shortchanging you. If she was loose, loved sex with all those other men, then why is she acting so naïve with you?
I always say where there is smoke there is fire, so although all the other family is just plain nosey, perhaps look realistically at your wifes behaviour.
Just do a little homework for yourself.
She craved sex before and now she acts like the Virgin Mary. If anything she should want to show her love and express her love fully to you. I don't know what is up with her but stop playing the fool and get some real answers. Just for yourself. From wild sex addict to conservative housewife, just doesn't cut it. Are you certain there is not other man involved therefore she withholds 'active' sex from you. Mr, loving her is one thing but when she chooses not to indulge freely in sex with her loving hb, then you need to start asking some hard harsh questions.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 Many people sleep around when young (and middle-aged, and old), but their families don't usually bring the subject intot he conversation, or tell the hubby he's an idiot. I find it curious that, apparently, both sides of the family are only concerned about the "tramp" she used to be, and nothing is said about the present. Is something going on now, for her own family to be talking like this after so many years? I guess so. Meaning we don't have all the information we need.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): "I know she had a terrible childhood, she was neglected". You might not have been there to protect her from her family then, but you are now. Who cares what she did in bed with her ex, maybe he pressured her? Maybe he's lying. If you love her, right now you would be defending her, and letting her know how much you value her. Vicious rumours can destroy the best of relationships if you let them, trust me I know, and it's not worth it.
She
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 October 2010):
I don't think you've married the wrong woman. I think that she has a pretty cold family, and I think her ex husband was a shite. I think your wife has changed, and I think she loves you, and I think that's all that matters. She hasn't done anything wrong with you, and as you say, she's proved over and over again that she's a decent woman who is completely worth your time.
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (14 October 2010):
Think about who you want to listen to: you and your wife who loves you, or a bunch of petty, vindictive people that enjoy talking trash about their own family members? Don't let other people make trouble in your relationship. If the 2 of you are happy with your sex life that's great. There's probably a reason she stopped doing those things, i.e. she doesn't enjoy them and is ashamed of having done them in her past.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010): Forget what your familys think or others some people just dont know how to move on and hate to admit people change just because they are stuck in the past(sad)that dont mean you have to start behaving as they do,dont throw away 14yrs because of what other think
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A
female
reader, chita22  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 Omg her family r the crazy 1 its plain jealousy. What is ther problem and what ever she did w/her ex is there buisness not there's or yours. Your only being a great husband to your wife and I think the only reason she doesn't do certaim things w/u that she did w/her ex is because she's getting it thrown in her face by her own family so she must have a huge wall up witch I don't blame her @ all. If she did her part by telling u the truth in the beggining I think she was realy brave for doing that and u should appriciate that,cause that's hatd to do enjoy your life w/your wife screw everybody u need to be a man and tell everybody off u shouldve done that from the beggining.
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A
male
reader, BigRuss +, writes (14 October 2010):
Ask yourself this, Do you love her, is she kind to you and your kids.
What matters is how your relationship works for you both, if you have felt secure and loved in it.
rather than ask yourself have I been a fool as they say I have, ask yourself why are they telling me this, why are they belittling me, what to they gain from me being hurt by there comments. why do they want to make me unhappy.
the comments are aimed at you and not her. else they would slag her off to her face. These people are sickofantic pieces of crap, doing this to you only makes them feel powerful and better about themselves, they are one of the lowest forms of human being on the planet, they offer no positive contribution to life and they should be wiped out (metaphorically speaking). remove them from your life they are a poison you do not need around you. If they loved and supported you, they would listen and give support to you about what has been said about your wifes past, they are not.
once you have worked it through in your own mind, ponder this question. Am I a fool for listening to these people that slag my wife of about her past even though we are blissfully happy.
They must surely live defunked lives.
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