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Allsorts!!!!! not for the faint of heart! READ WITH CAUTION!!!!

Tagged as: Love stories

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Article - (6 March 2008)

23 Comments - (Newest, 16 May 2008)

A age , writes:

Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight.

She was from Quality Street, he was a Fisherman's Friend. On the way, they

stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she had a Wine Gum.

He asked her her name, "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said.

"I'm the one with the nuts," he thought! Then he touched her Milky

Way. They checked in to a hotel, and went straight to the bedroom. Mr

Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before

he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Cream Egg. He fondled her

Flap Jacks then he showed her his Curly Wurly and

Tic Tacs.

Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any Jelly Babies, so she let him take a

trip down Bourneville Boulevard via her Party Ring.

He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a magic moment as

she let out a scream of Turkish Delight. When he pulled out, his fun size

Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more, but he needed Time Out,

however, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetizing.

He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet Dip and finished off

By giving her a Gob Stopper!

Unfortunately, Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel.

Sadly he was soon to discover he had VD. It turned out Miss

Rowntree had been with Allsorts!!!

smile awhile LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXX

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Oh hunny Im glad it cheered you up a little, TAKE CARE OF YOU LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, unluckyinlife +, writes (13 May 2008):

i just wanted to tell you that I've just read your quirky little story and after crying almost non stop for a week with everything going on in my life at the mo it made me smile. it took my mind off everything even if it was for just 5 minutes. also thanks for the advice x x x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Im glad I could make you smile hunny thankyou LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, mizzlala3 +, writes (15 April 2008):

That was a good one!! lol..... I think I needed that laugh today!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Your soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sweet hunny tanks so much love ya, Great to see you back hun answering those questions a great aunt you are LOTS OF LOVE N SQUISHY HUGS M7 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, BigSis +, writes (18 March 2008):

Backatcha, my little hot X bun you. xXx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

HUN!!!!!!PHEW!!!!U HAVE MY PRAYERS My 2 boys are 26 n 18 oh my!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AND IF I TRY TO GET EM NOW!!!!!Then I no 4 sure ill be shoved down the back of the bed unable 2 move untill some kind soul gets me out, Only 4 me 2 kick there arses again and end up in the same place!!!!:} CATCH 22 OH WELL ITS FUN GOIN ROUND IN CIRCLES SOMETIMES!!!EH! :} BIG CYBER HUGS TO U SWEETY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, BigSis +, writes (17 March 2008):

Well....he's one of those guys who could eat four bowls of spaghetti bolognaise and a whole garlic bread, and not even undo the button on his jeans...Jammy git!!!

(He's nearly 30 by the way).

I only have to look at bowl of that and I end up looking like Demis Roussos!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

HI HUN THANKS I LIKE MAKING PEEPS FALL ABOUT LAUGHING :}

YOU MEAN U EAT UR CHILDRENS EGGS!!!!!!HUNNY WE'RE ON THE SAME WAVE LENGTH ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH MORE FUN :} UNLESS THEY CHASE U B4 U CAN EAT IT QUICKLY ENOUGH!!!! U GO GIRL TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, BigSis +, writes (16 March 2008):

Wow Mandy, what a sweet story! I'm all flaked out after that laugh.

Now where did my son hide that easter egg? Sod the diet!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008):

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ha! ha! ha! you wont see me you'll be to drunk dragging the arms on the floor n ill have to hold you up as per usuall monkey girl.....MINES A GIN DARLING MUMMY NEEDS A GIN SWEETY C YA SOON LOVE YA XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, joby30 +, writes (14 March 2008):

im one of mandy 7 friends here on this little rock in the middle of no where and this sort of humer is what keeps us all ticking lol thanks mate see you tonight xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008):

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Hi my baby duck and my little precious.....

Im glad that made you both smile :) it made me more than smile when my son brought it home via a friend im sooooooooooooooooooooo glad I had great kids with my sense of humour!!!!!!!!!Well poor little buggers havent had much choice YOU BOTH TAKE CARE LOVE YOU LOTS LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, Hollyy x +, writes (8 March 2008):

Haha Mandyy...Thanks

Yuu Havee Madee My Day Aswell As Makingg Mee Laugh...

Yuu Solvee Likee All My Problems Too..

Haha

LoveeYuu Loadss x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hunny

You have brightened mine on many occation you special little mate you :):):) love u love meeeeeeeeeeeeee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008):

Fantastic as always Mandy, you are such a great person, you brighten up everyones life!

Take care mate!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008):

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LOL mate you always make I laugh xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008):

I'll have to transfer that little lot to my mobile phone, text it to a prolific texter and see how long it takes before someone sends it to me!

Thanks for the laugh Tweenie - you're a star!

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A male reader, Kawika +, writes (6 March 2008):

Okay...Mandy, now I know you loved the enemas. Grrrrrr!!! Great story. It made my day. Considering your awesome wit and imagination, I wouldn't be surprised if the story was your own. So the moral of the story is....NEVER EAT CANDY OR ELSE YOU'LL GET V.D.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 March 2008):

Well I for one don't need an enema after reading this! Ha ha! As always very very funny!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yea a fruit n nut case for sure you gotta have abit of a giggle in life eh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! peace out straight back at ya xxxxxxxx n T.T.M My job is to make people smile its not easy when giving enemas so I have to make up for it now ta hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008):

Thanks for the humour. That had my wife and I both laughing. We didn't recognize some of the products, but that doesn't matter to get the idea. You are such a great nut case. You always make me laugh, unless it is your posts about parts of your life. You have such a great outlook on life Mandy. Cheers.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008):

Haha that is really clever lol I had to read it really slowly though so I could understand all the connotations (if thats the right word) lol :] thanks for posting, awesome read!

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