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*awika agony aunt

*awika

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*awika's profile:

Unfortunately, I live in Hawaii which means we have to continuously bear with the sights of 80 degree weather, white sand beaches, and tanned bikinis all year long.

I am a veteran police officer which means I have seen many things that ordinary people normally don't see...and things which should be intended for only God's eyes.

Latest articles:

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

7 March 2008: Your Name: Date of Birth: Social Security Number: Height: Weight: IQ: GPA: Home Address: Phone Number: Blood Type: Medical Plan: True or False Questions: Do you have Parents? Is one male and the other female? If no, exp...

12Next > [2 pages, 57 answers]

Why are all men selfish, disrespectful, ignorant bastards??!

Q.   Why are all men selfish, disrespectful, ignorant bastards??! Theyre so nice when they want sumthing then they discard you like a piece of rubbish. They can be the best boyfriend ever but wont think twice about dumping you for another woman and ...

A.   29 October 2008: Yup...I've said it once and I'd say it again...Men are all PIGS!! They are hairy, smelly, and if you live with them long enough they begin to look pregnant. Why is it that they have to always stand up when they urinate? If they did it properly, ... (read in full...)

I always have bad luck in love.

Q.   I've always had really bad luck with love. I have only ever liked two people in my life, and the first was last year. I liked her for about a year without any hope, and nothing happened, except that she got a boyfriend (and subsequently broke up ...

A.   29 October 2008: Okay Lexodus...its time to bring out your charm. What happened the last time doesn't really apply to what will happen today, tomorrow or next week...so leave that out. It has no bearing. What you must concentrate on is what you have in front of ... (read in full...)

I spent an amazing summer with him. I go abroad and he hooks up with another woman in only two weeks after I'm gone !!!

Q.   Thank you for reading, I know it's a novel! Sorry!! I met a guy on a dating/social website in May, and we started dating in July shortly there after, he asked if I would be his ‘girlfriend’ I didn’t see much point since I was moving in a mont...

A.   29 October 2008: Yup...all boyz are pigs. Considering I am a Man I don't think I fall into that category...but, I've been told I look like a chimpazee; however that's besides the point. Bottom line...if two people have experienced a chemistry together and really ... (read in full...)

I'm being bullied in school...

Q.   I have a problem. I get bullied in school because I made a video on youtube. The song is I kissed a girl by Katy Perry and thats why everyones saying that I'm a lesbian even though that's not true. When I walk through the school corridor people ...

A.   29 October 2008: I'm sorry to hear of your problem. People don't realize how much their words and dirty looks can hurt. Sometimes words can hurt more than getting punched in the face. Anyway, I don't really know what your video is about, but it seems that it ... (read in full...)

Why can't I fall in love?

Q.   I've never had the fluttery, giddy feelings you get when you love someone, or even just crush on them. Ever. Which is strange because I think the thing I crave the most right now is a serious relationship. I WANT someone to love me, but also to ...

A.   28 October 2008: Yup...you gotta have that giddy feeling or else whats the use. But remember love does not always come with a bolt of lightning...sometimes love comes softly. "Love is like a butterfly. The more you pursue it, the more it eludes you. But, if ... (read in full...)

I want to leave my husband but I can't bring myself to do it.

Q.   My husband and I have been together 10 years and have 3 kids. I want to leave him but I can't bring myself to do it. We constantly fight, he curses me and even calls our kids names, I hate him for how he acts. I've asked him to go to counseling ...

A.   28 October 2008: I felt the same way about my ex-wife...and there isn't a day that goes by where I have regretted leaving her. It is like a great weight has been lifted off my soul...and I believe you will feel the same. However, you need to make a plan as ... (read in full...)

Please help, I cant figure it out... am I being weird?

Q.   I'm pregnant, I have been with my boyfriend for a year, he wants me to get rid of it, but I'm against abortion, and have even protested against it, it will go against everything I've stood for, but I am only 17. Should I give up what I stand for ...

A.   27 October 2008: My sister had an abortion over 20 years ago, and till this day it still draws tears to her eyes. Sometimes I can see her in a daze just thinking about it. The sadness and disappointment in her face just says it all. It is as if she is saying ... (read in full...)

I would love to sing and dance professionally, but is it too late...I'm 38...

Q.   When I was younger, I dreamed of being a singer/dancer/actor. But this was back in the 70's and 80's and my parents considered it to be a poor career choice and wouldn't send me to drama school. I was told at my own school that I had talent but as t...

A.   27 October 2008: I think you should go for it! It is refreshing to hear of people like you who are still dreaming...who are still hoping. I believe "age" is just a number indicating the remainder of time we have left to fulfill our dreams. So, considering you are ... (read in full...)

How can I deal with this hurt and pain and learn to trust my husband again?

Q.   My husband of 5 years and I have had a rocky marraige. Not only does he suffer from Bipolar mood disorder, but he also has a drinking problem. A few days ago, I got home from work to be told by my husband that he needed a break and was going out. ...

A.   27 October 2008: Sorry for saying this...but, your husband is an idiot. I don't know why you are placing the pain on yourself when he is the problem. The question is not whether you SHOULD trust him again...it is whether you CAN trust him again. Trust and loyalty ... (read in full...)

How will I know when I've found true love?

Q.   hi! I have a question in my mind that always bothers me. This is, how wil I now if I already found my true love? I have never had a boyfriend nor a close friend that is a boy. I am just curious. I need your advice please.......... ...

A.   27 October 2008: It is when your world seems a whole lot softer; when the flowers smell a whole lot sweeter; and your eyes sparkle a whole lot brighter. It is when things that normally irritate or befuddle you become insignificant in comparison to being with him. ... (read in full...)

How long should I wait before I give up?

Q.   ive been working with a guy since last october, im really into him and i was unsure whether he felt the same, the people we work with tell me he talks about me, saying how nice i am and that he'd love to take me out. But yesterday was my last day ...

A.   29 April 2008: I would consider giving it at least a couple weeks. If he's really shy than a month...If he's really, really shy than a year (kidding). He's probably building his nerve to call you. He's probably standing in front of his mirror right now trying ... (read in full...)

I'm really depressed and want to runaway..

Q.   I'm a 13rd old girl. I'm in gr.8 so I am still in public school I've been going through alot in my life lately. I've just been a really sad, lonely, depressed young girl. Even at school recess, i'm all alone outside. I've been crying alot when I'm ...

A.   13 March 2008: I know the heartache you are going through...when I hear you, I see myself. I'm a lot older and stronger now, but the scars are still there. I'm sorry I am not able to help you unless I know some reasons why you are feeling the way you do, but I ... (read in full...)

Should I chicken out and not see this guy this weekend?

Q.   OK so another guy problem. I like this guy but he is one of my brothers best friends. My brother knows and so does my BFF brother and he said he is going to tell him. But I am worried he will make fun of me really bad this weekend when i see him. ...

A.   13 March 2008: I'm sorry that it turned out the way it did, but you should be proud of yourself for meeting your fears. Although the outcome may not have been what you expected look at how much answers you unfolded. To me...You are a very special person thinking ... (read in full...)

Allsorts!!!!! not for the faint of heart! READ WITH CAUTION!!!!

Q.   Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight. She was from Quality Street, he was a Fisherman's Friend. On the way, they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she had a Wine Gum. He asked her her name, ...

A.   6 March 2008: Okay...Mandy, now I know you loved the enemas. Grrrrrr!!! Great story. It made my day. Considering your awesome wit and imagination, I wouldn't be surprised if the story was your own. So the moral of the story is....NEVER EAT CANDY OR ELSE ... (read in full...)

I am almost 9 months pregnant and caught my husband cheating with text sex...

Q.   I am nearly nine months' pregnant and caught my husband cheating with text sex. We've been together eight years and married for nearly five. He's 10 years younger hadn't had any serious relationships before me and wants to live by himself but still ...

A.   6 March 2008: What is with these guys nowadays!? If I were to cast my vote, I would say dump him already. He is definitely not worth your time and expense. It seems he has no backbone or understanding what "love" really is. When he says he is "frightened" he ... (read in full...)

I love my best friend but she's engaged...I really need some advice.

Q.   I have been best friends with this girl for 4 years. And in love with her for 3. She has been in the same relationship since I have known her and recently got engaged. We go out together to a movie or dinner occasionally and always have a great time ...

A.   6 March 2008: You need to tell her. Don't live with the ugliness of regrets like I have. You may never know what she is thinking or feeling. Maybe, she thinks her fiance is the only option she has because you have not spoken out. The honest truth is that I ... (read in full...)

My so called "friends" are making my life a misery, what can I do to stop this?

Q.   Just under a year ago, me and my best friends of years (all the way through first and middle school) kind of got to the point where we weren't good friends anymore. I would get left out a lot and when I spoke to them about it, it was just a joke to ...

A.   5 March 2008: WOW...so much drama. Well, I think most of us have been in similar situations. Some less and some more intense. The best way I've handled mine is to NOT show your irritation or concern about it. The best way to get back at them is to show them ... (read in full...)

How do I spot the good ones?

Q.   I am tired of being alone and would like to meet someone already! I'm not necessarily looking for someone to fall in love with right now, but someone to get to know, spend some time with whos actually a decent human being! I was reading a di...

A.   5 March 2008: I think its hard these days to find what you are looking for, especially over the internet. There are so many creeps out there and they always have a self-serving agenda. Obviously, the best way is person to person. That way you can really tell ... (read in full...)

Should I chicken out and not see this guy this weekend?

Q.   OK so another guy problem. I like this guy but he is one of my brothers best friends. My brother knows and so does my BFF brother and he said he is going to tell him. But I am worried he will make fun of me really bad this weekend when i see him. ...

A.   5 March 2008: Fear of the unknown is expected, but try not to let it consume you. You never know what may happen. The problem with a lot of people these days is that they don't give things a fighting chance. They assume the worst and they end up giving up and ... (read in full...)

I miss kissing!

Q.   This guy wants me to be his girlfriend but I do not want a boyfriend right now. I just went through a bad breakup a few months ago and I am just chillin' for now and living life. I am kinda attracted to him, but he is over 10 years younger than I ...

A.   5 March 2008: Well, unfortunately I can't explain the tendencies of your other boyfriends, but I think in general men do like to kiss. Well, at least I do, especially in the course of lovemaking. But, I also enjoy kissing in a way that expresses my affections. ... (read in full...)

I miss kissing!

Q.   This guy wants me to be his girlfriend but I do not want a boyfriend right now. I just went through a bad breakup a few months ago and I am just chillin' for now and living life. I am kinda attracted to him, but he is over 10 years younger than I ...

A.   4 March 2008: I don't know. There is something about kissing that excites the hormones in men. We tend to want more...and more...and more. And then, we want sex...sex...sex. It is complete torture to a guy when you start passionately kissing a man and then ... (read in full...)

26 years old and never had a boyfriend...

Q.   I am a 26 year old female who has never had a boyfriend. I think I'm a pretty interesting and unique person overall. I'm reasonably attractive (have modelled professionally- 5'8/125), have an career primarily as a musician and occasional indie ...

A.   4 March 2008: Unfortunately, I'm going through the same situation. I've run into many dead ends with my relationships. It seems at times I am jinxed. While I see others smoothly enter into relationships, I often think to myself "What am I doing wrong?". The ... (read in full...)

How do I get closure from a relationship if the person has disappeared?

Q.   How do I get closure from a relationship if the person has just disappeared? I don't really want to call him, text him, or email him ... I just want answers but don't know how to get them. I know I will never get the answers I want to hear. I ...

A.   3 March 2008: I can understand what you are feeling. My situation is not as drastic as yours, but nevertheless the pain is still there. The good thing is that at least you've recognized his "true colors". I think "time" seems to be the best cure for our ... (read in full...)

Can we reach a point of healing this relationship? Is there hope?

Q.   I'm in a troubled relationship. It's unhealthy, and we don't know what to do. We met through a mutual friend (who had been a very good friend of mine for years, and played mwith my bf in a band back then). We got along great. Five months later, an...

A.   2 March 2008: What I am about to tell you is probably not what you want to hear, but I think it must be said. POSSESSIVE AND JEALOUS GUYS ARE JUST BAD NEWS. I have experienced my share of these type of people. Some of which I consider my friends and some I've ... (read in full...)

I've had many moments with this guy. Should I just ask him out?

Q.   There's this boy I really like and his friends keep hinting he likes me too. We used to sit next to each other in class and we got really close, he kept touching my leg and poking me and he'd look at me and once I'd noticed he was, he'd look away. ...

A.   2 March 2008: I know you are getting anxious, but I think maybe you should wait a while. Obviously, from your letter...I think he likes you. Let him chase you. Make him work to get your attention and love. If there is anything in life I've learned it would be ... (read in full...)

I asked her out and she said "I'm not sure..." I need to know!

Q.   I like this girl and she likes me. We've been on a date and we kissed. Later on it started getting really heated snd we were kissing really passionately like we luv each other so much. Now I want to ask her out. So I asked her wot she would say if I ...

A.   28 February 2008: If I were you...I would definitely slow it down a little bit. She may be thinking it is going a little too fast. Be patient with her. Remember...Love suffers long and is kind. ... (read in full...)

My first boyfriend and shy... any tips?

Q.   I'm going out with my first boyfriend, and I'm really shy about him. We've only hugged once and we've been going out for a week. I'm scared to go up to him in the halls and say hey, so I keep waiting for him to do the walking over to me but he ...

A.   28 February 2008: I dont think you should do anything. Let him take the lead. That is what boys and men are supposed to do. He may be shy too, so it may take some time. Just because he ignores you does not necessarily mean he does not like you. I'll bet that ... (read in full...)

I've had many moments with this guy. Should I just ask him out?

Q.   There's this boy I really like and his friends keep hinting he likes me too. We used to sit next to each other in class and we got really close, he kept touching my leg and poking me and he'd look at me and once I'd noticed he was, he'd look away. ...

A.   28 February 2008: Question #1: No...let him ask you out. It's his role. Question #2: No...let him ask you out. It's his job Quesiton #3: Yes...definitely Question #4: No...it means He wants to kiss YOU. Honestly, why should you be doing all the work for him. L... (read in full...)

How can I control my jealousy???

Q.   I have been dating this girl and I really want this to be a long lasting relationship. I have an issue with jealousy and I want to know how I can resolve this and get through it. My girlfriend had a boyfriend in the past and used to be obbsessed ...

A.   28 February 2008: I think all of us have some degree of jealousy. I think the main thing is what we do with it when it does happen. Nothing is more detrimental than to react impulsively to it. In most cases, that ugly churning jealous feeling that abides in us ... (read in full...)

Whatever happened to the days of romance?

Q.   Whatever happened to those days of those true passionate romance? You know the ones like Romeo and Juliet. Their passion for each other was not only idyllic, but powerful and sexy. They never once hesitated in expressing and showing their love ...

A.   27 February 2008: Thanks for all your insights. Yup, I think I used the wrong illustration in choosing Romeo and Juliet as my focal point. I was looking more for context, meaning, and the message rather than literal assumptions. My bad...... (read in full...)

What is going on with my Air Force (and careless) boyfriend?

Q.   I've been dating this guy for almost four years now. We are the same age and graduated high school together. In October he joined the Air Force and went to basic training and now he is in tech school. I went to college and he wrote me about thre...

A.   27 February 2008: I think maybe he has a lot of things on his mind. It is possible that he is going through the most trying time in his life. I think the best approach is to lay low for a while. Don't call him...let him call you. Don't question him about not ... (read in full...)

I would not dare to go out with him because I'm afraid of a failure. Please help!

Q.   Hey i've never had a proper bf before, well not a serious one anyway i seriously like a lad. W ehave been friends for a while and part of me thinks he likes me to. The thing is though i'm not saying anything will happen but if he does feel the same ...

A.   23 February 2008: I dont think anyone wants to get hurt, but would it be something you would regret doing? How would you ever know if he is the right one for you unless you take that leap of faith? We all have our fears and worries on what might or might not ... (read in full...)

Do any of you guys have any tricks that all males do to let girls know they're interested?

Q.   This is a question for all the guys. I like a guy right now but it's really hard to tell what's going on in his mind. Sometimes, I catch him looking at me, sometimes he just never looks at me when he has the oppurtunity to, from a close distance. I ...

A.   22 February 2008: Okay...for the record...We DO NOT USE TRICKS. We call it "PERSUASIONS OF LOVE". Well, I think your guy is relatively shy. He looks at you from a distance because he feels safe and secure of not getting caught staring at you. He doesn't look at ... (read in full...)

What causes people to fall in love?

Q.   Hey just curious here but i've always wondered what causes people to fall in love? I've never had a bf before and i like this lad who i'm friends with and these feelings all came on so suddenly about 3 months ago. Its like, oh i don't know, how do ...

A.   22 February 2008: My God...that is such a good question. Hmmm...maybe it is that longing that God puts in our hearts to love and be loved. I think all of us have different triggers that excite the emotional and sensual chemistry responses of our hearts and soul. ... (read in full...)

My partner tried to choke me and I'm wondering if I should give him another chance... he says he'll never do it again.

Q.   My partner tried to choke me on one occasion and I am wondering if I should give him another chance. He says he loves me more than anything but he panicked and he's so sorry and says he will never hurt me again. He wants to get married - we were ...

A.   22 February 2008: I've walked the streets for many years and one of the familiar excuses I here in abuse type cases is..."He said he would never do it again..." But for some reason I'm always back at that same household and the injuries get worse and worse. I'm not ... (read in full...)

Am I worrying unnecessarily?

Q.   I recently went to the doctor because I think I have a bladder infection, I have been given some antibiotics and I had to give a urine sample. I fear there is something really worng with me because you get loads of stories in the paper in magazines ...

A.   20 February 2008: If I am not mistaken I think bladder infection is quite common. I know several people who had it and antibiotics worked well for them. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Take care and Good luck.... (read in full...)

Any pointers to help me feel less anxious he is going to return to his nasty ways, and also help me deal with the overly flirty ex?

Q.   I have been seeing my boyfriend for about a year with no problems, however before this I previously went out with him for about a year when I was a lot younger (17), he was not the person he is now, at the time he was well known as a womaniser, and ...

A.   20 February 2008: When I was growing up I did a lot of bad things that I would consider shameful. It took me time and maturity to finally realize the gravity of what I have done. Since then, my convictions have surely taken me in a better direction...and I know I ... (read in full...)

A way to reduce the amount of hair I lose by washing? Worrying!

Q.   I lose alot of hair when I wash it, I know its probably not concerning but I don't wanna go bald! Is there a way to reduce the amount i lose?...

A.   20 February 2008: Hair loss can be a result of many reasons specifically hereditary and stress. You might want to consult a doctor just to make sure. I believe there are some remedies that are available to control hair loss, but you may need to do your research. ... (read in full...)

We flirted, we messaged... but it's dull! How can I make this more interesting?

Q.   Hello I've met a girl through a "meet me" application on the internet. I've started messaging her, but how can I make it more interesting? I don't want her to find me boring just because of how we're e-mailing. Basically, I "sent her a flirt" and...

A.   20 February 2008: Humor is always a good way to break the ice. Everyone opens up to laughter. Try starting your conversation with a joke or an exciting and fun topic. Keep it positive. No negatives or put downs. Ask her a thought provoking question...such as "If ... (read in full...)

I have never met anyone like her and she is the one that I want to spend my life with.

Q.   I started work about september time and around christmas i started to like this girl who works there. I knew she was goin out with someone else but i talked 2 her friends and they said she doesnt know what she wants and she cant see what an idiot ...

A.   19 February 2008: I dont know...her boyfriend beams with insecurity, jealousy and possessive qualities. In a nutshell...dangerous. Obviously, she would need to make a stand and make a difficult choice. He is probably manipulating her mind with fear. It is ... (read in full...)

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