A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I dated a guy aged 22 for 4 months, i loved him so an ended up giving up my virginity to him, he was an alcoholic and i rarely felt his attention. one day when i was asking about us, about the relationship an its weakness he looked at me and told me he is having a nine month baby, i decided to quit start a new live, rite now im single, and i dnt want to go back because i felt like my value has to come first in a relationship, rite now i feel like iv been used. im i wrong
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, quiet-echo  + ♥, writes (4 November 2009):
 He may or may not have used you, certainly taken you for granted, but what is important is that your value does not change according to how someone else treats you.
Many people have been used. As hurtful as it can be, it is a learning experienced from which we learn and grow stronger.
Having had this experience under your belt, you are now a wiser person and are (hopefully) less like to be taken for granted in this way again by someone else. AND you will be more understanding and supportive of someone sle who might encounter this themselves.
You deserve more credit here than you're giving yourself. Instead of clinging desperately to some tiny hope that this man might become a better person, you took decisive action to protect yourself from greater harm and heartache.
Some of the most famous martyrs, philosophers and icons of our society have been mistreated by others. We don't see them as less valuable, do we?
Chin up.
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