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After I split with my bf to date him-this new guy has gone cool and non-comittal! What's up with him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 December 2006) 1 Answers - (Newest, 30 December 2006)
A female age 36-40, *ammylammy writes:

Hi I have a bit of an unusual problem-i was friendly with a guy at school when i was about 15 he was a few years older. We had lots of flirtations but nothing happened and we lost touch. then recently i heard from him via friends reunited. we talked through email and texts and phonecalls and his tone was definately flirtatious but i had a boyfried so nothing concrete happened.However his texts etc were really flirty and a bit intense eg. 'u mean the world to me'.

So last week i broke up with my boyfriend (for unrelated issues) and decided that now that i was single it was time to meet up with my old friend. Well we did and i had a nice time and ended up kissing him but nothing else. We then both drove home for xmas and saw each other again on boxing day but since then i feel he is distant and a bit non-communicative.

I feel like I am starting to like him but i feel like he is not interested any more.

I didnt sleep with him because I knew i liked him and didnt want to put him off me and although i realise thats perfectly Ok i wish i'd given him some sort of indication that i liked him too rather than playing hard to get, because now i'm scared he thinks i just want to be friends.

I asked him today whether things were ok between us and he said they were and that he is looking forward to seeing me soon but didnt set a date or tell me that it was nice to see me or anything. i just feel like i expected him to act a certain way with me and now he doesnt seem to be bothered. what should i do?

View related questions: broke up, flirt, kissing, text

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A female reader, kellyO United Kingdom +, writes (30 December 2006):

kellyO agony auntHi Sammylammy,

The mistake some of us women make is think that showing too much intimacy like having sex when we meet someone is an indication to show how we feel or get him to like us. That doesnt help either and if a guy really likes u he will continue showing interest u dont have to sleep with him on the first date.

I think u handle everything right. You werent playing hard to get as u think. You have given him all the right signals you kissed him afterall that is a good enough sign that u like him.

Be patience and allow him to make the next move.If he likes u he will definetely bother, except he didnt and was looking for something like a casual fling. Dont rush yourself or him, take things gradually like you are doing now. Get to know him now and find out what he is looking for in a relationship and if the two of u have similar views. It is necessary so that u dont get hurt in the long run.

Goodluck dear.

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