A
female
age
41-50,
*uzzleduck
writes:This is going to sound a little crazy...for two years I have been seeing a guy, who for the first 10 months told me we could not be together properly because he was still really close to his ex and they still saw alot of eachother. So we could only meet up when he said. I fell inlove with him and it hurt me so much everytime he told me we could not be together. So I left the job we both worked at and after a couple of months decided I had to start seeing other people. When he found out he got really angry with me and told me I had ruined everything. He said we could never be together now. However, still for the next year we met up when he said.We have now had an argument as I asked him to promise it was only me he met up with. He said he didnt know why I was asking that, and I over reacted and told him he was a selfish cruel hurtful person with massive bad points. I have said sorry about 10 times but he just ignores me! Please help me!
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female
reader, Puzzleduck +, writes (9 December 2010):
Puzzleduck is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for all your replies, I really appreciate it.
I know I need to move on but I just find it so hard. Despite it all I really do believe he is a good person and we did have a real connection, one Ive never felt before with anyone else.
I just wish now he would forgive me for saying those horrible things so we could atleast be friends, but as I have sent 10 messages saying sorry with no reply I think I need to stop, I will get in trouble for harassment soon! x
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 What's crazy is that you allowed him to drag you along for the ride while he was also still with his ex! You could only seem him at his convenience, I suppose when he wasn't going to be with his ex that day. Also, when you decide to see other people, since you know you were never officially his to begin with, he gets pissy. Well yeah, because you're putting a damper on his having his cake and eating it too! Good for you!
Now, this fight..I agree why are you asking him to be with just you when you know that's not going to happen? There's no need for the mean comments you made, they're true. My advice to you is to stop apologizing and to move on to a man that can devote himself entirely to you. You deserve MUCH, MUCH better.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 December 2010):
I honestly wouldn't bother with this guy. No guy is worth this treatment.
At the time you met, he was still close to his ex and seeing her a lot (meaning there's a high chance he was cheating on her or something.)
Then he kept saying you couldn't be together.
Then you even left your job and saw other people, and he got mad and said you'd ruined everything.
Take away those love tinted glasses, and you'll see this guy for what he is - a man who just wants it all on his own terms, and has no regard for you at all.
Best thing to do is move on, before you realize you've wasted 10 years or something.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (8 December 2010):
 why are you allowing this man to have such control and power over you? Are you his slave? Honey, this isn't the way a relationship should we! This isn't fair to you at all. Don't you think you deserve to have man that is all yours? I just don't understand why you have been putting up with his crap for 2 years! Commitment? You should be running from him as fast as you can! He's a jerk, can't you see that? Girl, get some backbone and find a man who will treat you like a lady, not a puppet!
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