A
male
age
36-40,
*urizawa
writes:O.k. here's the deal... I was in a 2 year relationship with someone. We were like best friends, and our fights were always stupid... we really loved each other. The thing is that 4 months before we broke up, I started my own business, and with that came a lot of changes in my persona, good changes, leadership like changes you know? I got rid of a lot of mediocre things I had in myself, I grew and matured so much people would really recognize my change and congratulate me on it, specially my parents. The problem here was that once I started "growing as a person", my relationship with my girlfriend was going down hill. In a sense, she stopped being my number 1 priority, I never meant it to be like that though, I was just so into myself and I know this sounds selfish, that I started to lose her little by little. Until one good day I decided we'd just stop, we talked and agreed to take a small break... which didn't last more than a week heh, we got back together but once we did we kinda just realized it wasn't the same and ended up breaking up for good. The perfect relationship we had had ended once I started my business. And it's not the business' fault I know, it was me... I was too blind to see how the whole situation was affecting her. Now I want to clear out that we never had huge fights or anything of that sort... things just started to die in a sense. And I repeat it was all my fault. Alright, so say we broke up in mid September this year. It was difficult but I would just ignore the feelings and kept telling to myself everything was great and that we were just not meant for each other. This November I went to Las Vegas with my buddies, it was 12 of us and well you can imagine the kind of extreme fun we had. Funny thing is, whenever I was with a girl, I felt guilty, very guilty. And I wasn't even doing anything but flirting! And once I started to feel guilty I would stop the flirting and start thinking about my ex, I'd leave wherever I was and then I'd get mad drunk and call it a night. I never did anything with anyone cause of the feelings I still had for my ex. I guess in the back of my mind I always thought we'd come back together eventually. Anyways, this really fucked with my mind and I was more confused than I thought I was. I talked about it with my best friends and we all concluded that I should go talk to her and see what happens. Now, more than anything, I really wanted to talk to her not to get back, but to apologize. I felt like shit about how I just let our relationship crumble into a sad scene. I knew I hurt her and I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and hopefully we'd realize that we should be together once again.So I got back from Vegas, first thing I do is call her and tell her how I need to meet with her in the weekend, you know have a cup of coffee or something. She kindly said she couldn't that week but that she could the week after that and that she'd let me know. A week passed by and she never tried to contact me, next thing I know (thanks to facebook) is that she's dating someone! And not only that! They're in love! Wow... right there I felt like an insignificant pile of turd and all I could do was just sit down and try not to think about it... but of course I did, and it was killing me.I don't understand, after 2 great years, she starts dating someone 2 months later and not only that... they're in love? Am I the only freak who thinks that's just... ugh I don't know... unfair? After tears, frustration, depression and what not I just accepted it and took it like a man. And here I am, all I wish is that she's happy with this new dude. I realize now that if she's happy then I'm happy. And I am... for her you know? The thing that¿s killing me is that I can't stop thinking about all the "what ifs". I can't not think about why this happened and what a moron I was to let her go like that. Can anyone relate? What do you suggest I do? Should I still talk to her? She hasn't contacted me and I doubt she ever will. I don't want to intrude in their new relationship either so... fuck. Oh well, just writing about it really helped so okay cool. Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): I went through the EXACT same situation with my Ex. It's been 6 or 7 months and it is still KILLING me. I know its time for me to move on. I too do not understand how someone could just walk away and move on like that when your relationship was full of love. what you did didn't seem that bad, i think it was something that could have been talked out - and she is a fool for just giving up like that. I think eventually they realize what they lost out on, but maybe so caught up in the illusion of new love, that someone else will be perfect, you know
A
male
reader, topdogg83  +, writes (3 December 2008):
well son, i feel your pain but you have to understand that rebound relationships don't last long, wait it out if you want or you can go into a rebound relationship yourself. you were with her for 2years and she is with this dude for how long? months!!!. Dude you can't let her see you like this, cause it is not attractive. Find yourself a new BFF and who know you might end up liking her more than your Ex. she will come back they always do!!!! so mean why got out meet ne ppl , girls and make money. you know what they "Get money, f**k bicthes"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008): Like the sayin goes: 'you'll never realize what you have until it is gone'. how do you knw she doesn't still care about you? I bet she does and remember you are the one who messed things up so now she's found someone else and you are mad. You should have thought twice before doing what you did. Relationships are hard work if it's ever goin to be healthy, honest and stable even leading to marriage. Now she have learn from being with you, all she could do is move on. If you truly love her go after her no matter what. Hey, things might even work out for you or it might not. Remember in fugture, not to take anyone for granted!!!!! Best to you!!!!
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A
female
reader, katatonik  +, writes (2 December 2008):
 I don't think contacting her is going to help. She is with someone else and you don't need to lose her all over again every time you talk to her and remember that she's with this guy and not you. I understand that it's going to be hard because of how much she meant to you, but try to move on, if you can. Good luck =]
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