A
female
age
36-40,
*orngirl
writes:My problem is that my boyfriend doesn't reply to texts if he's out having a good time. When he goes away for a weekend or just a night with friends/work he won't bother to text me back if I text him for example asking if his gig went well.This upsets me because it makes me feel that I'm not important to him. I understand he's having a good night but it's only one text, takes just a couple of minutes. I also think it's rude to ignore anyone's texts personally.How would you advise I talk with him calmly about this? I don't want to nag him to text me, because I'd like him to *want* to text me. I'd also like to find out whether I am important to him, which I guess is the deeper issue, but don't know how to address this either.Any advice please?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): Thanks for your replies. I'd like to point out that I didn't mean I expect him to drop everything and text me back when he felt his phone vibrate, just that over the course of the evening it would be polite to text me back, even if just on the way home. I certainly don't contact him again when he doesn't, never mind call him a lot. I just find it rude that he'll chat to friends during a night out but doesn't send me a quick reply at a quiet point during the night.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2008): This is a Major annoyance with me. Your boyfriend has something most texting people don't. Manners.I think it's incredibly Rude when I'm talking to a person, and they Stop to text. It's like the people around them are 'nobodys' Right in the middle of a conversation, a Rude texter will answser a text, then he/she gets attention-deficit-disorder because they've lost their focus.Please consider your boyfriend a good man! Of course, he should get back to you when he has an 'alone' moment.Besides, relationships are about trust, and absence makes the Heart grow Fonder.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (8 November 2008):
If he is in a club or at a gig then he is going to have NO WAY of hearing his phone to know you have texted.
Why not just gently ask him to check his phone when he's on his way home and send you a text to tell you he's ok and had a good time.
I get texts all the time when I am out and miss all of them unless I'm waiting for one and keeping an eye on my phone specifically.
A better suggestion of what you could do is when he goes out, don't sit at home pining for him by the door. Go out with your mates, have a good time!! Then you won't be so worried when he doesn't text you because you won't have time to text him!
I had an ex-boyfriend who would insist on texting me when he knew I was out with my friends, I would miss the text as it would be in the bottom of my bag and I'd have a drink in my hand and be dancing, and then later in the night I'd discover I'd had 87 missed calls because I hadn't replied and he wanted to know why.
Don't stress out too much, it's only one night at a time he's not seeing you. It's not like he's gone to sea for 12 months.
Good Luck!! xx
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