A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay...so ill start off saying im 17 and my bf is 20. so I'm not sure what this is considered...but ive been dating this guy for 10months off and on. and i know im not the peachiest person...but ok maybe last night i had this coming. we broke up(again) and i ripped his shirt (i wasn't the only one) and gave it back to him. and i left..about an hour later. i was getting sumthn to eat. and i saw his car outside. so i looked and he was outside my porch. so i look at him and he looks really pissed (he mustve just looked at his shirt, but c'mon he gave it to me that wants it back..it was only 5dollers) so i walk away than he starts POUNDING and i didnt want him to wake my mom up, so i opened it than he goes straight for my room, and trys to look for a valuable of mine, that he holds my face, and looked like he wanted to hurt me, idk if he was kidding but than he put his hands around my neck and pressed and asked "i wonder if ur mom would miss you" than i shook my head yea. than he said "would you miss your mom" i shook my head again yea..than he pressed harder but stopped...but i saw it in his eyes...and i thot he was going to hurt me bad! I mean hes done stuff before but not like this? but were dating again...and i'm not sure i want too...but he says "hell make my life a living hell" i love him tho...i think, any1 have any pointers? on how to make this situation better? plz comment!
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (11 April 2009):
 You say you love him...do you love yourself and your family more? Well, you definitely should! There are lots of women and girls living in domestic violence hostels and shelters all over the world with broken bones, stab wounds and lots more who all thought they 'loved' their abuser and most take several years of beatings before they finally leave. Of course, they are the lucky people in a fit state to walk out of the door and dead victims of abuse don't get that choice. You are young and this maybe your first proper relationship. The reality is that your boyfriend needs specialist help from a counsellor who treats perpetrators of domestic violence. He has some very misguided beliefs about his right to assert power and control over partners which need correcting before it goes too far.By taking him back after abuse, you are saying to him that it is ok to hurt and control you. He may go on to hurt and abuse other women too. You should report the incident to the police and allow them to take action against him by cooperating as a witness.
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (11 April 2009):
 This is very abusive behaviour, tell the police, your parents, his parents anyone, just do not let it happen again EVER!
You live in America for gods sake "the land of the free" you live in a democratic country with a good police force, laws and a constitution. There is no excuse for someone ever getting away with this kind of behaviour!
You know his behaviour is wrong, do something about it RIGHT NOW!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): He's a majo dick. No man should EVER do that to a women. Say I dare you to make my life hell, Ill make yours one to. Call the cops get him in jail. He threatened your life so gusse wat you can reck his. I'm pissed just reading about it I'm so sory.
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