A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello all...I'm just asking advice on marriage, we are getting married next week (after a 6 month romance). We just returned from 3 weeks in the tropics, spending 24/7 together, and we agree that we are just meant to be together. We are going to get on with this with as little fuss as possible, no big ceremony, just a judge, consolidate our households, create a child, and grow old. He is 8 years younger, but that doesn't matter, at least not yet, although I worry about years to come, although he assures me that he loves me, and that my maturity counters his immaturity perfectly. Love is there, so is common sense, and we realize that we will have issues to mount. Any advice would be appreciated by you long-term marrieds out there...... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): Hi Hunny
Im not married I have been and birdy got it all spot on hunny...Always go to him if you have a problem with him, And keep the sex fantastic (:0)...Just be there for one another hunny and compromise.. congrats LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (4 April 2008):
 well.. i guess congrats. and kiss yoursex life goodbye
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A
male
reader, mattman +, writes (4 April 2008):
 This reminds me of that old saying.
Use your brain for driving and your heart for loving, if you use your brain for loving youll be driving alone!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): I think birdynumnums pretty much covered it.
Keeping connected is essential, this include your feelings and needs being met. While doing so, do it in a caring compassionate manner. Always love each other, and when there are arguments, understand they are either a part of the person, that is what makes them tic, or if it is small, then reach a compromise. Petty things are not worth fighting over, especially if they are material things. Be patient with each other when you do want something from each other. With social events such as work, we can have a full plate of stress from them, so communicate your feelings and understand we each need time to air out things. Trust each other, care for each others well being, and be supportive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBirdy, you brought tears to my eyes, thank you...
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (4 April 2008):
 Congrats and best wishes to you both! Nice to hear some Great News!
I thought that one saying I heard summed it up brilliantly. Love isn't about finding the right person for yourself, love is about being the right person for them. As long as you BOTH put each other before yourselves, well, that's how be married for a long time. Another saying that I love is that marriage consists of two like-minded people looking outwards together in the same direction.
Don't compare yourselves to other couples Whatever way you work together is what works for You. Have mutual goals to pursue. Pick your battles and Don't sweat the small stuff. Does the couch HAVE to be blue? or Could you live with the Beige one that He loved? Perhaps the Next time, it will be You who wants/needs a compromise from him. Never been a big believer in that never go to bed angry thing, I prefer to stay up and fight! Ha Ha! Kidding! Know when to drop a subject too.
When raising children, Always present a "United Front". They are smart little creatures who learn very soon how to divide and conquer - "Mom said... But Dad told me...". This works well with In-Laws too. Once you are a couple, you act as a couple first. Don't run to your Mom or girlfriend, run to your husband.
Make sure to have lots and lots of sex. It is a very important bond between you, and you will have rough patches to get through. Sex keeps you close, and lots keeps you closer!!! Lol! Try to be that shelter that you run to for each other. I wish you all good thing in the years to come. God Bless you Both.
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