A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is the 3rd time my b/f has done this to me. We've been together for 9 months. His mother will be telling the whole family that she wants a divorce from his step dad. I know this is worrying him alot. Each time he spends more time on that situation he backs off with me.Everytime he spends time with his mother/family he starts acting wierd towards me. But when we're together and he's away from his family, he's totally fine. The last two times he's done this, he's always come back, but I don't know about this time.I don't know what to do do. It's really getting me down. I've cried so much, I don't think I've got any more tears left.I want to be there for him, don't know if I should get in contact myself.I haven't contacted him neither has he. It's this week that his mother will be breaking the news, so he's taken some time off work to be there for her.I called and called and text him last week, I made myself sound really weak. I even said to him if he doesn't want to know then he should say for both our sakes, but he didn't reply. Eventually he text back saying 'just give me time!,x'What on earth does he mean by that?
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 You're not weak. It is your right being in a relationship that the relationship is respected, if he wishes to continue it. He's the one who seems sort of weak spirited. He's grown now, it's fine to worry and want to handle problems with family, but it's not OK to ditch a relationship completely to do it.
One of my instructors has a family that their picture should be under drama in the dictionary. We were discussing the issues in class (nothing else to do...) She and her husband made a decision together that one evening a week for 2 hours they would focus their time on helping family with their issues. That way they would have their time together to focus on their family and keeping their relationship strong.
It's OK to want to be there for someone, and help them, but it's not OK to do so at anyone else's expense.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): sounds to me like he just needs time hes having family troubles!
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