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16 and want a baby with my 27 year old boyfriend!

Tagged as: Age differences, Pregnancy, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 October 2008) 12 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *oulouxox writes:

hi im sarah im 16 and in a relationship with an older guy. he is 27 and i do love him very much. the only problem is we have been talking about having a baby bt he has 1 with his ex. i reali want a baby but will he love is 1st more than mine? i am jealous that he has a baby with his ex and not me. ( that sounds selfish). i just dont want to lose him he is my one true love and there no one elseni want to be wiv.

View related questions: his ex, jealous, want a baby

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A female reader, nompilo South Africa +, writes (9 January 2009):

hi i am 22years old turning 23 this year and i am in a 2yeears relationship with a 28 years guy and we love each other and i am also working for an advertising company and i am also studying,so my problem is that my boy-friend just told me to have a child with him and mina i dont or not ready and he even said he will never use a condom (anyway his the one who break my viginity last year).so i dont know what to do....because i still have a life to life and a success to see having a bay is not one of my sucess and i love him so much....what must i do..please help

xxxxxxxxxxx me

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A female reader, x vicky x Ireland +, writes (6 January 2009):

i think its your own decision if you want to have a baby with your boyfriend if the two of ya'z have sat down and talked it over properly

having a baby with him doesnt mean that he will always be with you though and you will have to remember that no matter what you do or how jelous you get he will always have his other child aswel even wen he is in a relationship with you and if you stay with him you have to learn to love the child even though its not yours the child is part of him is part of you aswel

i know your probably thinkin all sorts ny reading this but im 17 nd my boyfriend is 29 nd has a kid aswel nd i have been through this aswel we'r trying for a baby nd no matter wat i will always love him and his son

just think it threw carfully about what you want to do and how you feel about him and his child please

..... x vicky x

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008):

Your motivation for wanting a baby with him- ie. jealousy of his other one- implies that you yourself are far too childish to even consider becoming a mother. Have you actually thought about what it entails? And in reality, does he really want another baby, especially with a 16 yr old? I wouldn't think his past record suggests that he is likely to stick around with you. Please don't throw your life away just for the sake of jealousy. Why don't you think about getting married before thinking about a family? See how he feels about that perhaps.

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A male reader, yum yum Switzerland +, writes (11 October 2008):

yum yum agony auntI absolutly agree with Fade 878.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2008):

In this day and age, 16 is just a little too young to even breach this subject.

At least wait until you are finished school and understand that pregnancy is much easier to handle when you have a right to paid maternity leave (which I don't think they cover in school).

And don't listen to all these women that say just because he left his previous partner means he's unreliable.

For all we know it was for the best. And that he does everything he can for that child.

Plenty of people do this and still remain good fathers and mothers. It would be crueler to raise a child in a loveless marriage then to raise it with seperated parents.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, bellaa Australia +, writes (10 October 2008):

first of all i don t think you love this guy at this age it may be only a crush i can tell you one thing if you are sure that you will do the right thing buy having this baby than be sure that he will leave you like he left his x he doesn t seem to be responsible so think twice and more that you have to raise up this child alone good luck

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A male reader, leon_r United Kingdom +, writes (10 October 2008):

ok i belive you but i think you should love your self more then any one ells ,and you are just 16 come ooooon and my opinion is you are to yang because as soon as you have a baby you will chaing your minde and i think you should think having your Carrier and finish university so when you have family you will never depents on any one ever and that means people cant play with you that easy,about jelos i think you should be proud you haveing fun not a baby which will chaing your life ,live your life first because you are to yang for baby trust the truth

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (10 October 2008):

bubbloo24 agony auntIt would seem that you want to have this baby to keep your boyfriend so that he doesn't run back to his ex.

Having a baby at this moment in time would be wrong because:

- You very young to be having children

- Having a baby will NOT make him stay

-Having a baby is a lot of responsilbity and it makes the relationship with your other half very tough and therefore, as this relationship would seem to already have strain on it because you don't trust him around his ex and her child, having a baby would cause even more trouble.

- Having a baby because you're jealous of someone else's baby would be wrong over all.

I understand how difficult it must be for you boyfriend having to go over to your ex's and see his child and I understand why you are jealous, but having a baby out of jealousy is wrong.

I suggest that you talk to him about your feelings. Don't accuse him because he hasn't done anything wrong. Just say that if you ever did decide to have children, you are worried that he wouldn't love your child as much as his other child. You need to talk to him. Having a baby to hold a guy down doesn't work, hun. And so you really need to have a talk with him. Communication will help your relationship, having a baby will really put strain on it.

It is hard, I know, but please just talk to him and have children when your relationship is strong and when you know you can trust him with your life.

Take care xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008):

you definetly should not have a baby.being jealous over the fact that he has a child with his ex and not you is no reason to have a child at such a young age.a baby is for life.keep in mind that you are much younger than him and your probably both at very different stages of your life.i know that you love him,but love doesnt always keep people together.im not saying theres anything wrong with you dating someone older,i dated older guys myself when i was your age.but you dont want to become a single mom,take your time and enjoy life while your young.please do not go having a baby just as a way to keep him.the reasons that you stated on here for wanting a baby are very immature reasons,and i dont think you would be prepared to have a child.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008):

How long have you been with this guy? I really think you should wait a couple of years before you ave a baby with him. The very fact that he already has a baby with someone else suggests he's not the commitment type, and that he may well leave you after getting you pregnant. Wait until you're sure of his commitment to you before you have a baby.

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A male reader, Norway Australia +, writes (10 October 2008):

um.. im only 15 but i dont think it would be wise to have a baby at such a young age i dont really know what im saying but im only trying to help. ur only 16 you have a long long road to go..

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A male reader, Norway Australia +, writes (10 October 2008):

um.. im only 15 but i dont think it would be wise to have a baby at such a young age i dont really know what im saying but im only trying to help. ur only 16 you have a long long road to go..

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