A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 15 and 2 months pregnant.. i have told my boyfriend of 9 months this and he is happy but scared like me. but i have a big problem. my parents do not know and his don't either. and this baby doesn't belong to my boyfriend. i started seeing someone else about a month and a half after i got with the guy i am dating now. the father of my baby knows about all of this and he is happy he wants to be a dad and he wants to be with me. i never planed any of this it just happened and i don't know what to do. i want to keep my baby. i know im young and i know it'll be hard but hopefully i won't be alone. i want to be with the father. how do i tell my boyfriend all of this?? how do i tell my parents this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, soon567 +, writes (25 October 2010):
Its obvious you took offense at what I written here, its the truth. I spelled it out for you. Penis plus vagina equals baby in mst cases. Condoms usually don't break are come off unless they're used improperly such as applying oils are using one that's to big.
How could you know if you're doing two guys? A guy precums and if you let him put that cum on his penis its possible that he has contaminated that condom ie sperm on the outside of that condom. Never let a guy put on a condom then insert it in you. Baby.
I'm not saying your dumb but it wasn't a smart move on either of your part. You need a DNA test for lots of reasons and to find whom is the real father. Be smart this time and go tell your parents.
A
male
reader, J.Gentleman  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Honestly, as happy as you are, this is irony in the shape of that child. You should never have cheated to begin with, it doesnt really matter, and since its not really your boyfriend's, dont drag him to hell with you, as far as anyone else is concerned. Lets see how this goes out, if it turns out better or worse, you really know why.
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female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Mommy's baby Daddy's maybe! LOL! That term was popular in my day!!! Well, Maury made "You!! Are Not the Father" Popular in your day! LOL!!!! What we ALL know and agree all is the fact that you're carrying a "child" that needs medical ATTENTION! And w/o your Parents Knowledge that's not possible! May I add in some places it's a crime for pregnant mother's not to seek medical attention! So...First things First! Tell your Parents.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (25 October 2010):
 And like we said now's the time to grow up which looks like you got quite a way's to go...and tell your parents you're pregnant and dump your boyfriend.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): Im 15 and pregnant parents dont know. i've only had sex with two boys. my boyfriend and the father. i made both of them use a condom i'm not a dumb ass. i know who the father is because i have been to see a doctor. duh. i lost my virginity to the father and a few times later bam pregnant. my boyfriend thinks i just took a test and found out that i was pregnant so he doesn't know i am actually almost 3 months. like i said before this wasn't planned.
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A
female
reader, RW2010 +, writes (25 October 2010):
Put yourself first and dont worry about hurting any one like your bf now. explain to him and be honest about it. when it comes to your parents, they are going to be very dissapointed but they are going to find out eventually any ways so why not go ahead and get it over with. plus you need to go to the doctor and in order to go to the doctor you need your parents with you and if you want to keep the baby you want it to be healthy, so you need to seek medical attention imediatly and tell your parents, they love you and want what is best for you, and as a parent you will feel the same way for your child
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (25 October 2010):
soon567 pointed out a valid point that I missed. It's possible that either boy could be the father of the baby, if you were having sexual intercourse with both. So before you go dismissing your current boyfriend..I would have who you think is the biological father submit to a DNA test just to officially confirm he is the father. However, if you are wrong and this isn't his child then even if you break up with your boyfriend you still have to let him be a part of his child's life, especially if he seeks legal action against you.
First tell your parents, and get a DNA test done.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): im 15 pregnant and parents dont know. i am done with highschool. i already learned everything they can teach me. i went through high school pretty fast. i have an amazing dad that has been here for me since the day i was born. my mom too. my parents are the best in the world. they raised me right. i made one bad choice on my own. my fault. i don't worry about money. i've got it. and i have a job. i don't want to be alone in this. i know i won't be because my parents will be here for me always. i don't really need a man to make it.
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female
reader, marymomnwife +, writes (25 October 2010):
first of all omg girl. u need 2 tell ur parents asap i know its gonna b hard to do that but u need prenatal care now. i waited till i was 4 months along and ended up having a blood disorder that i didnt have with my other 2 pregos and after i had my 3rd i tried to stand up at hospital and almost bled out it freaked the nurses out. my doctor had 2 literaly reach her hand (im surprised she didnt lose her watch) inside my vagina into my uterus and try to scrape all the blood out. THAT HURT! then because of the germ exposure i had 2 b hooked up 2 a drip and have a total of 3hrs of antibiotics forced in2 my arm thru a tube. my arm stayed swelled 4 2 wks. the tube and the swelling was blinding pain. the tube hurt so bad i cried thru most of it. if i would have got 2 the freakin doctor sooner they could have helped me avoid all that. plz dont gamble with u or ur babys life. tell ur parents and go 2 an obgyn. oh and the telling ur boyfriend part i have no idea 4 that one. good luck with u and ur baby.
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male
reader, soon567 +, writes (25 October 2010):
I had to read it twice before I got it. Stop don't you get rid of either of them before you find out who's the father is. If you're sexing both of them then either one could have father that child. You had sex today it doesn't mean your pregnant tomorrow. It could take a couple of weeks for you to had conceived that child. You need to think back at least three months and think of all the names you had sex with.
You need a DNA test if you slept with both (correction) if you had sex with both. Planned parenthood has counselors that will help you tell your parents and the boys parents.
You said this was planned and it just happened:
1.) You got with a guy. 2.) You two played around. 3.) You both undress enough to have sex. 4.) He or you insert his private part into you. 5.) You to committed this act (in your case it's illegal (they can prosecute you if they choose too) but probably won't. 6.) Neither of you used protection nor precaution, therefore you where trying to have a child.
Which part wasn't planned and which part just happen. Every child alive is planned by someone. I really doubt either guy will stay in the long run.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): I'm a male in my 40's.
Like the Nike Ad, 'Just do it', as in go talk to your parents. They will say the nastiest things, take it all. Allow them to cool off, let the healing begin, their healing.
Listen.
Reflect.
Be brave.
Try not to be childish.
Good luck, my child!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): It doesn't matter, just tell him NOW NOW NOW. Release him NOW. Giving birth to a baby is a "given", but more imporantly is that you need to know that the chance you'll be with the fellow that you got pregnant years from now is virtually nil. Highly highly unlikely. Sorry to be the one to break it to you. You've possibly set your life on a course of poverty, filled with frustration at not knowing what or why you did what you did.
It's highly likely you are not close to your father, or have "issues" with your father being distant, or did not even have a quality father figure, which means you've got a lot to work out. NOT blaming you at all, he was possibly a real putz, or not present in your life much, which means you sought out affection from multiple boys [sorry, I just cannot call teenage boys men]. Your child will now live a childhood similar to yours. Sort your life out over the years to come and you've got a shot. You've really painted yourself in a corner with your actions, and cannot hit the reset button on this one kiddo. Best wishes, truly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): It's great you want to bring a child into this world but are you really ready? What about your education? How will you take care of the child? Do you think it's fair that your parents will have to support it financially? What kind of job can you get at your age and education? Definitely nothing more than minimum wage. Try to think of your future. What about this child's future? Will you have enough time and patience and financial support to be able to give this child the best care? I can't believe people are still having kids as teenagers and it's 2010. Have you noticed other teenaged moms? They're always stressed out. The father of the child also has a right to know.
I'm not blaming you, your parent's messed up big time. so did our society.
think of all the amazing careers out there? you could be a fashion designer or an architect. or direct movies or become a chef. you could be a journalist traveling the world or a doctor. You could travel around the world and learn languages and meet people from other cultures. Instead you're choosing a life that will only make things harder on you and not open up your mind to all that life has to offer. Children are wonderful but wait until you have experienced life and the world's wonders and mysteries.
Good luck to you.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Why not tell them all together. It involves all of them and after you tell them, your parents will no doubt keep a close eye on your current boyfriend, you just have to make sure that this is who you want to raise your child with.
Invite your boyfriend over to your house and sit them all down. Slowly tell them that you are pregnant, it is important you do not just blurt it out, you have to give them hints of what you are about to say so that it does not come as a larger shock than it should. They will have already started to think about what it is they are going to say. Your parents should be wiling to support you in this and though there may be some argument over whether or not you should get an abortion, they should be, overall, willing to help you through this. But you cannot be afraid of telling them because they do need to know. Better they find out through your words than by the growing child inside you.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (25 October 2010):
Going to have to tell them soon, otherwise the gig is up when you start to show. You have to tell your boyfriend, right away because it's very wrong of you to lead him on believing it's his child.
Tell him your sorry but the baby isn't his, and either let him break up with you, or you break up with him.
Next, tell your parents they're going to be grandparents so they can figure out how to help you, get you signed up to be homebound after so many months into your pregnancy, and for you to get the proper prenatal care. If you don't want to be alone in this you have no choice but to tell your parents. Good Luck, and Congrats!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 DO NOT allow the boy you are currently dating to step up as father of this baby.
Do not feel compelled to allow the biological father of the baby to be part of this process at this stage. Do not make decisions that you want to be with this one or that one.
Do, try and pluck up the courage to tell your parents as soon as possible. Do take anything they say to you (after the initial shock has worn off) to heart and listen very carefully to them.
Do find out how you can support the baby and still finish school.
I am not going to nag you about what you "should" have done, because you are going to find out for yourself very, very quickly.
Its when I read letters like yours I wish contraception was compulsory for all teenagers up to age about 19 .... babies giving birth to babies ... while there are success stories there are many more that aren't.
I send you good luck wishes, you are going to need them.
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