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Is there hope of saving this? Should I just move on?

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 July 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 August 2007)
A male United States age 51-59, *ouliseaux writes:

I met a woman online 4 months ago. Our relationship was almost instant. It was very intense and we both felt like we were falling in love. After two months we met face to face and it was great for me but okay for her. A month later we met again. It was great for both of us.

Here's the problem: she's been saying little things here and there suggesting she wished we would break up, but she would also tell me she loved me and wanted to be with me. After the second meeting we had a great time for a week or two, she was constantly telling me she loved me and couldn't wait for me to move to be with her. Then one day, she told me the only reason we were still together was that she couldn't think of a good reason to break it off. I took offence at this and dumped her. I was so hurt and confused. Now I want her back but she says she can't go through that again even though she loves me too.

She says she's trying to let herself get close to me again, but she doesn't respond to me very much anymore. I feel heartbroken. She says she had finally made up her mind that she really loved me after all and I pulled the rug out from under her. Now I'm just really confused. Is there hope of saving this? Should I just move on?

View related questions: heartbroken, move on

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007):

We're now happy and in love, thanks annonymous lady! your adequate too!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007):

You shouldn't move on. She sounds adequate. Call her.

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A male reader, couliseaux United States +, writes (12 July 2007):

couliseaux is verified as being by the original poster of the question

We do have alot in common and are great friends aside from everything else. The issue is her trusting men. she was really hurt in the past and has a hard time letting that go.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007):

Yes, move on and let it go. Obviously there was a lot of initial chemistry between you but not much else. You need to have similar interests (i.e., enjoy at least some, not all, of the same activities); to have an outlook on life and worldview that doesn't clash; be somewhere on the same page intellectually, spiritually, and last but not least, if you are, for instance, very loud and boisterous, and she's quiet, or again, for example, you like to stay up late and are an early riser, but she prefers an earlier bedtime; she likes going out to restaurants, vacations, whereas you're more of a stay-at-home type (except for maybe a day out here and there) and home-cooked meals......well, you get the picture, I hope.

Compatibility in all these areas is important if a relationship is to be long-lasting, happy and stable.

So, think about it and see if you have some of these other "ingredients" in common.

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