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I think I deserve better than my current girlfriend, but I also think that she deserves better than me breaking her heart a second time. But how long is too long?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 November 2015) 1 Answers - (Newest, 13 November 2015)
A male United States age 30-35, *Nick writes:

I figured out what my problem is: I think I deserve better than my current girlfriend, but I also think that she deserves better than me breaking her heart a second time.

Long story short, we dated in the summer. Neither of us had access to reliable transportation. I was working overnight and 2 part time day jobs. I felt like I didn't have time to sustain the relationship, so after trying to be rationale about it, she just kept on saying she would do anything to make it work, I didn't know how to handle the situation that was so mismatched feeling wise so I broke up with her. She hated me for it.

We got back to school in the fall, I bought a car, and since I wasn't working as much, mostly school, we started talking again. And we've made it now a few months of being back together, and I've fully regained her trust. But things quickly lost their spark and roles are reversed. School stresses her out so she has very little time for me.

On one hand, I'd like to try to make it work, because the good times are really good. On the other, it's not even like she doesn't have time for me, she's just a straight up b*tch to me a good 75% of the time. I'm honestly just sad 100% of the time I'm not with her and even sometimes when we are together. She doesn't treat me how I deserve to be treated, even though we've had this conversation multiple times. She just says she loves me and she does care, and she doesn't know what else she can do to make me feel it, and then flips it around on me for not believing her.

I've been trying for maybe 3 weeks now since things have gotten really bad. How long is too long? I really don't wanna break her heart again, especially after all I had to do to regain her trust, but I'm afraid that I may want to cut my losses here before too long.

Thanks,

-Nick.

View related questions: broke up, spark

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 November 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI'm not sure how you think you deserve to be treated, but facts are that her school work IS (should be ) more important than a BF. So is your school work.

But if she treats you like you are not important to her or she really don't care, END it. Maybe that is why she is acting the way she is, she is hoping YOU will break up that way YOU can be the "bad guy" in that scenario.

Why drag it out? You aren't happy dating her and she doesn't exactly seem happy either.

You think you would "break her heart" any less by staying with her all the while wishing you weren't with her? That is stringing her along.

So put on them big boy boxers and tell her, that you had hoped you two would work once school had started back up but that you feel you are mismatched and then DO NOT get suckered into "taking a break" or some other excuse to NOT end it.

Nothing in your post makes me (as a reader) think that you even give a darned about her. So really WHAT is really holding you back from breaking up?

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