A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so the last time i was in a committed relationship I was 16 and it ended in a disastrous manner my partner ended things abruptly left me wondering what went wrong which I later discovered was the consequence of him cheating on me with multiple girls. I was heartbroken to say the least and it took me almost a year and half to get over him. Now, i was close friends with this guy for a year who was in a relationship until 3-4 months ago, things between us took a romantic turn 2 months ago and we got intimate physically. After that one time, it kept happening. Now I really care about him and I know he does too. He says he loves me and I am perfect but I dont think he is over his ex. Now in this complicated situation i dont know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2014): You let sex enter the picture, and now you don't know if you're just on the rebound; or if he has had time to get over her. End the sex and wait.
Too often people recently out of a relationship turn to someone for sex, and pretend it's emotional. They just need an "emotional painkiller" or band-aid over their hearts; while getting over their ex. Sometimes they'll use you to make an ex jealous. It's so easy to fall for it, because they seem so needy. Think back to when you first broke-up.
You missed being in someone's arms and sex.
I'm sorry, but things didn't take a romantic turn, they took a sexual turn. You were conveniently available knowing he just broke up with his girlfriend. You're not in a good place. You're on a ledge. It's too easy to lose your footing.
Your gut tells you he's not over his ex-girlfriend. I think you have some evidence to support this feeling. Listen to your gut and recall your own experience. Back-off, or you'll be going through another long period of getting over some guy. You know what to do, you just don't want to do it.
No more sex until you know if he wants you, or if he's just using you. Give him time, like you yourself needed to get over your ex. If you took over a year to get over someone; it should be common-sense, that he may not be ready to take on another relationship so soon. Don't set yourself up for heartbreak.
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