A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been dating a man who’s older than me. He was all full on with me at the start, I think I was being love bombed looking back on it and he was seeing a future with me. The first couple of months was difficult for us to see each other as he had his son staying with him, which I totally understood. When we do see each other, about every two weeks, he’s all I can’t wait to see you and I’ve got some little gifts for you and we going to have a lovely couple of days together. When I see him, he’s all cuddles and kisses and we do end up been intimate but it’s all over in minutes. The problem is when we go to bed. There is no intimacy, no cuddling, no kissing, no pillow talk. Nothing! We go to bed, he goes to sleep. He wakes up the next morning and gets straight out of bed, showered and ready for the day. I’m finding this all very strange as I’ve never experienced this ever before. I’ve spoken to him about it and all he says I’m more tactile than him and he will try. Up to now nothing much has improved. I don’t know if I should stay with him or not, as the more I’m getting to know him, it sounds like everything is all his way or the highway.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2021): The first thing that comes to my mind is that he is possibly a married man, looking for side sex. He is definitely not emotionally attached and leaving you starved for love and affection. Most women aren't into wham bam thank you ma'am unless they are emotionally damaged or have problems. You seem pretty together. And you have become wise to his little game. He is using you for sex. It is so obvious. I know you want more and you want to hear that he cares, but he doesn't. A man who cares will act differently but the fact is he just climaxes and leaves. It is all for him and he does not care if you enjoy it. Why can't he get out if his son is there? It seems more like his WIFE is there! Open your eyes OP! Something smells fishy here! Seeing a man every two weeks for a booty call is not a relationship. He is just playing out some fantasy with you, and using you as his sex doll. I can imagine how unsatisfying the sex is and how lonely you feel afterwards. Believe me, you can find a man who knows how to make love to you and knows how to love you and show you affection and respect. This guy is not the one! He is just an over the hill user! Tell him you are not interested in being his prostitute anymore! And find yourself a real man, and I would suggest around your own age.
A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (11 October 2021):
 I think that now the rose tinted glasses have come off you are seeing the real him.
I think all the love bombing in the beginning was to reel you in, get you hooked, now he finally has you your seeing the real him, and the real him is not very appealing at all is it.
The question is can you see yourself with him in a year, five years, 10 years?. You say you have spoken to him, given it some time and nothing has changed. Well my guess is nothing is ever going to change and he will always be a lousy selfish lover, with the his way or the highway attitude.
OP, we both know that you can do better than this guy, and you deserve to be treated better than this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2021): He doesn't seem emotionally-attached or invested. He simply needs female-companionship for the sake of sex. He talks a good-game, because you've been needy and gullible up to this point.
I think your eyes are wide-open now.
Your relationship with him lacks affection and warmth; and you sense no real emotional-connection beyond his words. He's just a bunch of sappy sweettalk. It's all an insult to your intelligence; and he preys on your vulnerability. He must have found you at a time of weakness and loneliness.
I think the writing is on the wall, and you already know what you need to do.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (11 October 2021):
 I think you are finally getting to "know" the real him.
He IS a "my way or the highway" kind of guy. That is also why he is dating someone younger. He is presuming she will fall in line easier than someone his own age.
If I have to be very frank - it seems very transactional with him. He is all talk, buys you gifts, then gives you lousy sex and no real intimacy. You only see him every 2 weeks. That is not much to build a relationship on.
He isn't going to change. Not because he can't change but because he doesn't see the point of putting in more effort.
OP, make a little list of pro's and con's. And then decide if he is for you.
Usually, someone who starts out with a serious case of love-bombing will "drop the act" as fast and just think that you are "hooked" enough to stay. Or he will move on to someone else.
Is he really only seeing you? I mean he only has time to see you every 2 weeks? Do you live far from each other?
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