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He likes BDSM porn, and has invitations in his email to meet others in this group.

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 June 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 4 June 2007)
A female United States age , *risky_1108 writes:

Married for nearly 8 years. I have never cheated, but he did. He doesn't know I know. He likes BDSM porn, and has invitations in his email to meet others in this group. I was totally at a loss for that end of the spectrum, because I had never experienced it. I have tried to understand his intrest and accommodate it, but it seems to have taken us to this dead end level. He has OCD, ED, and has not shown an interest in me sexually for 3 years. He was verbally abusive and it was bad until I exploded and told him if he didn't want to be here then he needed to go, but that I was really tired of him talking to me like he hates me.

He has toned it down considerably, but none the less it is still there. I caught him chatting to another woman about 5 years ago and confronted him. I tried to walk out, and he tried to commit suicide. He continuously tells me that chatting on the net is not cheating. I keep telling him when he shares intimate feelings with others, no matter how much or little, that it is cheating. He defends that his ED prevents him from providing me with the sex I would love to share with him. But then, I catch him mastrabating?

Would someone please tell me what the heck is going on here? I feel trapped and very alone not to mention overwhelmed and totally frustrated. I am still a good looking woman according to input I got from other men and women. I truly am at a loss, and I don't want to end up as the good girl who went bad. Incidently, he does go for counseling, and is currently on meds for thoughts about suicide. He also has problems with his remaining kidney, but the Doctors have that under control.

He uses his perscription for viagra, but not for me. I lost the battle of chatting, I threw in the towel and simply told him "Do what you want, what ever happens, happens." I feel like he is robbing me of my last good years. Somebody, please help me.

View related questions: porn, the internet, trapped, viagra

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (4 June 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntYou never say in your post that you love him. If there is no love there then you need to leave. He obviously doesn't give a rip about how you feel. You are right about the chatting thing by the way. Like you say, he is robbing you, you need to get out so you can enjoy your life. Don't waste any more time on him.

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (3 June 2007):

DV1 agony auntHe's crazy and a liar. There is no other way to say this. Rate me badly if you want for saying this, but it's true.

This is NOT a healthy relationship, and you deserve MUCH BETTER!! Leave him, and find someone who's ready to make you their world!!

DV1

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