A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This guy and I are in the "talking" stage and he is also talking to another girl. This doesn't bother me as we both agreed in the beginning that we just want something casual and fun, since I will be leaving to go to graduate school out of the country in August, or I should say it normally wouldn't bother me except for the girl he is talking to is super trashy. She is also incredibly unintelligent. He says that he doesn't like her and doesn't want to talk to her anymore but can't help it because she keeps calling.I can't help but wonder about someone who would keep a relationship like this going with a girl of that sort, someone who "has no control" over his relationships. Also, he keeps saying he wants to take things slow me with, but I'm pretty sure he's having sex with her. Should I let these things bother me and find someone new to talk to, or should I just ignore it and have fun since I'm leaving soon anyway? Am I being a snob by feeling slightly offended for having to share a guy with someone like her? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 February 2012):
 No, I don't thing you have the right to be offended by who he talks too, sleeps with or date.
If you chose to be "fwb" you really have no say in whom they may or may not talk to. I actually think the guy is really lame though.. talking trash about one girl to another.. Guess what honey, he might talk trash about you to her.. Ever thought of that?
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 February 2012):
 Frankly I don't think that if she were a Pulitzer price or college dean , you'd feel much better. I don't think you'd say , I am so glad that he is fucking an educated, accomplished woman.
I think that you have to decide what you really want and like. If it is just casual fun and nothing serious, and you don't mind not being exclusive, - then why should you monitor his sex life and feel offended by his sexual choices, they do not concern you and have no reflection on you. If you 'd like it to be something more, or something different, then you have to be honest, with yourself and with him, and make clear you are not going to share, whether the other party is classy or thrashy.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 February 2012):
 “he can’t help it because she keeps calling” what there’s no block on his phone? He can’t let the calls go to voice mail? He CAN help it. He chooses NOT to.
You are just talking… not going steady… what is it lately that everyone thinks if you are TALKING or have one or two dates you are exclusive… t he whole point behind dating is to figure out what you want in a partner…
If you feel jealous about this girl it’s because you like this guy more than you are admitting… I think that even if she was your identical match you would feel angry snubbed and insulted… I don’t think it’s WHO he talks to as much as you are not his be all to end all.
He’s being honest with you that he has other women in his life but he clearly has made her out to be beneath you and him to make you feel better….. do you wonder what he tells her about you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): I think its jealousy and you are insulted, as you should be but really, its the guy that is the bigger pig in all of this.
I say stop all contact immediately and find someone else who at least will be monogamous.
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