A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My best friend and I have known each other for years. i'm a woman, he's a guy. And we've known each other since we were ten years old. Our families are so close that people think we're all related. When I was in high school I developed a crush on him, but it was pretty superficial and after a year or so, he was back to just being my best friend.Over the years, though we went to different colleges, we never lost touch. We were always close and we always went out of our way to see the other. We both ended up in the same city and our friendship deepened, it seemed. One night with some mutual friends, we went to a bar and since he was a bit too tipsy to drive, he crashed at my place. Long story short, things happened. The next day we talked about it, but the bottom line was that we were both afraid of developing a romantic relationship; both our love lives at that point sucked balls. And it seemed as though the agreement between us was to keep our friendship the way it is.But it's been a few weeks and I still can't get that night out of my head, neither do I want to. Things are not as awkward as I had thought they would be. We still act the same, but now I've found myself to want more. Do I let him know? Or do I preserve the friendship? He IS my best friend.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 October 2012):
 As you say he is your best friend, therefore I think you just need to tell him the truth, friendship will just not be enough for you now, your feelings will get in the way of the friendship, it is much better to be honest with him, if he does not feel the same well at least then you know the truth even if it hard in time you will be able to pick the friendship back up again.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 October 2012):
 Things will get awkward after you tell him. If you don't there is always tension. The friendship will not be satisfying when you always wonder what the potential could be. If he decides to date others do you feel happy for him as a friend, or do you get a little jealous? I think you should distance yourself from him before you get more attached. There are reasons why you always remained as best friends and nothing more, and that reason is not just because you are afraid of ruining the friendship. You should continue dating other guys, guys who would not make you say "we are not ready for relationships." In fact saying this famous line is the worst way to start any relationship. I know he is your friend for a long time, your security, your comfort but if you ignore other guys for the sake of keeping this friend then this friendship is not worth it. You are more ready for a relationship than he is. Waiting for him to be ready means you are stopping yourself from meeting guys who are ready, right now.
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