A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been single for a little over 4 years now. My last relationship was one of the worst relationships I have ever been in, in my life. And that's why I'm still single. But I'm happy being single. Since I've been single I've had 3 friends with benefits and I'm currently in one now. However this one is different. I started talking to this guy in August. We didn't start having sex until in September. Every time he comes over or I go over to his house we always cuddle before and after sex. He always just holds me, kisses my forehead and he holds my face when he kisses me, rubs my head, etc. We text every single day sometimes all day, sometimes half the day. But I have started noticing that he says "I miss you" or "I just want to see you" alot here lately. Which to me is odd because I've never had a fwb act this way before. Anyway today was very different. During sex he kept rubbing my face with his hand, holding my face and head gently. Then all of a sudden he just stops and lays on top of me. He started rubbing his face and nose against mine and he was kissing me and I asked him if he was okay and he said " yea I just wanna lay here for a minute" and after about 5 minutes he started kissing me and touching my face and stuff and then we continued having sex. I've never had someone do this before and I'm just curious is it normal? Does it mean he could be catching feelings or that he already has feelings for me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2019): You can't compare one lover to another; because different people have different ways and techniques.
He likes tenderness with sex. He is also a friend, and he knows you come to him for comfort and pleasure. He wants to be the best you ever had; and that might be for the sake of his own ego. He also likes you, not necessarily in a romantic-sense. This is where FWBs always backfires!
You have to understand something about men. He can be tender, offer a lot of foreplay, he could even have prolonged-sessions of sex with you. You're his sex-buddy, and he knows what you like. He wants you to keep coming back for more. He doesn't have to have deep romantic-feelings for you to do so.
Play by the rules! Check your feelings, girlfriend!
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (15 December 2019):
Perhaps he is an attentive lover, one who thinks there is more to sex than in, out and thank you very much. However it does sound like there is an emotional connection too, so he is certainly starting to care about you, whether he ultimately wants something more serious or not.
But I don’t think this is entirely one way. This doesn’t sound much like FWB to me. You text every day, sometimes all day. Why? You’ve already started to suspect he has feelings for you, yet only today you were at his having sex. This is the point where you’re meant to remind him it’s just FWB and to be preparing to walk away if he’s getting too attached.
I agree with Honeypie when she questions whether FWB is really what you want. What you have sounds like a relationship in many respects, even if one that hasn’t got very serious yet. I wonder if you have a mental block because you were hurt in the past: you’re scared to call it a relationship and it feels comforting to say you’re single and keeping it casual. But if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck. It’s time to ask him what he ultimately wants and to be honest with yourself about what you want too. Every relationship is different: if you got hurt from one it doesn’t mean you will be hurt by every relationship. And with the right person there’s no need to rush anything at a pace faster than you’re comfortable with.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 December 2019):
 Just because the sex is casual doesn't mean people don't want to FEEL like it MEANS something other than "just" "FWB".
Maybe he IS catching feelings, who knows? (besides him)
If you want more, maybe it would be an idea to ASK him and talk about it?
I get that you got hurt in the past but avoiding relationships all together doesn't seem like THAT is what you really want? Not all guys will hurt you like your ex.
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