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... Send *hilosophyzer a private message | | | *hilosophyzer's profile:I'm just a lame college student with a little bit of time to pass and I figured perhaps I could put it to good use. I'm currently single and playing the dating game. So, I'm seeing it all... I have a sensible head on my shoulders and would love to help people where I can. I am always open to messages. Don't be shy! :]
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I don't have feelings for him, but don't want to hurt him again!
Q. Dear Cupid, A few years back in high school, I really hurt one of my friends that /really/ liked me. He had asked me to Junior prom (I had a boyfriend at the time) and things happened, and he ended up being hurt and humiliated (not publicly...
A. 1 July 2010: You need to have an adult conversation with him, face to face, and tell him your complete feelings, or lack thereof. He might be upset at first, but he will later appreciate the fact that you didn't lead him on and hurt him even more. ... (read in full...)
I think he may be cheating, but I need proof!
Q. I strongly suspect my husband has, or is about to cheat on me.Pevious posts to this site, and the replies recieved,say my instincts and gut feelings are right! I am absolutely sickened and heartbroken, but I know he will deny all and make me out to ...
A. 1 July 2010: Try calling the cell phone company and see if they can supply any records. If not, see if they can do any sort of monitoring. If they can't, then check e-mails, perhaps, instead.... (read in full...)
Do you tell partners your real number of past lovers if they ask?
Q. Another poll for you ladies: Do you tell partners your real number of past lovers if they ask? If not, how far off are you? A) Yes, I tell them my real number if they ask B) I tell them my number of "real" boyfriends or relationships, bu...
A. 1 July 2010: I would, of course, tell the absolute truth! To those who think this is a rude question to ask a partner, I strongly disagree. If you are in a relationship with someone, especially a sexual one, it is indeed their business to know about your sexual ... (read in full...)
I want to be a part of my child's life!
Q. Ok, I am going to be completely honest here. I was dating this girl for about 5 months but have known her for almost 8 years and she is now 11 weeks pregnant and we are no longer together. Before we broke up, she moved to west virginia to help out ...
A. 1 July 2010: If the father of two of her children has primary custody, there might be a reason, i.e., she can't take care of them and/or has been seen as an unfit mother. Don't cut ties with her. Keep in touch and stay on track with how the baby is coming ... (read in full...)
She's in eighth grade and I'm going to be a senior, should I date her?
Q. im am 17 and going to be a senior next year, i feel like a creep but there is an eighth that is 14 that i really like and i think she likes me..what should i do date her, tell her to leave me alone or what? ...
A. 1 July 2010: At this stage in your life, age difference can be a huge bump in a relationship. The emotional maturity of someone at the age of 17 and the other at 14 is usually a big difference. Most parents will not be happy with their eighth grade daughter ... (read in full...)
I want to do it with the right guy, and I'm not sure he is! Help!
Q. hey i am 16 and my boyfriend is 18. we've been together 6 months on and off he wants to go further but i'm not sure i kind of want to do it with the right guy and am not sure if he is. Help !!!...
A. 29 June 2010: If you're unsure, he is not the right one. He is older and possibly just after one thing. If the relationship has been rocky for the first six months, it will only deteriorate further. You are young! Wait for someone marvelous to come along! Don't ... (read in full...)
I know that men look at porn so why does he claim not to? I'm not the jealous type.
Q. Why do guys lie about watching porn? My boyfriend and I have been together for several years and at the beginning of our relationship would look at it together quite a lot, usually just for fun (i.e. trying to find the weirdest stuff we could) but ...
A. 29 June 2010: "I have never found any on his computer or anything, but I know that all men look at porn. He insists that he doesn't, says he's seen it all before, not interested, no time, gets enough sex from me (that part is definitely true), uses photos of me ... (read in full...)
My husband is acting strange and out of character could he be cheating?
Q. My husband is acting strange,and out of character, although in nice ways, making dinner, cleaning the house,and generally making unusual effort to spend time with me. He has even been suggesting we make love, (he usually says he's too tired!!) H...
A. 29 June 2010: Showing up at work might be a great, but dangerous way to spy. I suggest being sneaky. Hardly anyone commits a crime scotch free. Check his cell phone for mysterious texts, calls, or contacts. Perhaps accidentally check his e-mail. These aren't fool ... (read in full...)
Can I make up for being desperate by playing it cool?
Q. I wrote in yesterday with my first question here and I appreciated the answers. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/yeah-i-screwed-up-i-gave-her-a.html So I'm back on talking terms again with this girl that I really like only she has told me...
A. 29 June 2010: I really hate to tell you this, but I don't think she likes ya in the way you are hoping. She keeps giving you the red light. Some people take some warming up, but it's been four months, right? Look, as I like to say: Don't shut the door, but keep ... (read in full...)
I am only 15 but what do I have to lose if I have a baby?
Q. Help!! My boyfriend and I have been wanting a baby were emotionaly prepared for one i dont go out cuz i dont get along with people especially girls i dont drink and smoke anymore cause i hate it and i no pretty much everything on how to raise a baby ...
A. 29 June 2010: Well, I don't know why you want a baby so bad. Maybe you had a bad experience as a child. Perhaps you've had a hard life at home. Maybe you want something to love you unconditionally. Or perhaps, you think that to show your love to this boyfriend, ... (read in full...)
14 and possibly pregnant, I'm not ready for this!
Q. OK so me and this boy had sex twice about a month apart.. and i think I'm pregnant but i don't know he didn't wear a condom he thinks they are stupid and he use the pullout method the first time he discharge on the backseat..(we did it a car)and the ...
A. 29 June 2010: Well, there is a chance you might be pregnant, I am sorry to say. "Pulling out" is never a safe method for having sex. Men can ejaculate what is called pre-cum before the actual, final ejaculation, which still contains sperm and can get your ... (read in full...)
My friend says there must be something wrong with him!
Q. I started dating a guy who is almost forty years old. He's never been married and in his entire life he has had only two long term relationships, each of which lasted about two years. I wouldn't have thought anything of this, but a friend of mine...
A. 28 June 2010: It's important to get to know him and consider what sort of person he may be. To some people, being in a million relationships is just not that important and they would rather spend their time on a career or on other hobbies and interests. Is he a ... (read in full...)
How do I tell them I'm not a virgin?
Q. Hi, I would like to know your opinions and what I should do, I am 15 year old girl I am secretly engaged to my boyfriend and we have had sex many times, i am finding it very difficult to tell my parents that I have had sex so how would I tell them ...
A. 28 June 2010: I believe that it is very important for teenagers to have honest relationships with their parents. So many kids I know sneak around their parents' backs and end up in utter disasters, such as pregnancy, STDs, violent relationships, and drug abuse. ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I like being fat?
Q. I used to be very skinny. When I was a teenager and went on holiday I would eat and drink loads and not gain weight. Sometimes I would lose weight. Over the past couple of years this has stopped. A couple of years ago I took a year off from wo...
A. 27 June 2010: It's not strange at all! Embracing your figure is great and, frankly, if your friends were any sort of true friends, those comments should never had come out their mouths! Enjoy yourself and you body! Best of luck to you!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says if we have a baby he will settle down with me and stop hanging out on the streets, what should I do?
Q. hi i'm 17 and my boyfriend is 18 and wants to have a baby but he is alway out in the streets he say's if we have a baby he will settle down with me. What should i do?...
A. 27 June 2010: Please dump this man and do not make a horrible mistake! A baby is not something that you use to negotiate behaviors in a relationship. A baby is a living, breathing child that require love, care, and a stable family to support it! You are far too ... (read in full...)
I looked at porn and my wife thinks I cheated!
Q. How can I prove to my wife I am not, and have never cheated on her? Recently my wife found out I had been looking at porn, it is something we had agreed not to do in the past, argued about in the past, and for some reason I looked at it again (I am ...
A. 27 June 2010: I find this issue extremely irritating! Porn is fantasy and has no validity in the world of cheating unless you have someone actually sending you pictures/videos/erotic e-mails/whatever. Casually looking at porn from time to time is no crime. If it ... (read in full...)
Why is she angry that I told her she was easy, when she is?
Q. So my girlfriend and I have a close mutual friend. She says she only fools/sleeps around with men if she potentailly sees them in a relationship. And she's had a few flings. So the other day she was wondering why this guy, whom she was seeing...
A. 27 June 2010: Whoa, I can't believe so many people are sticking up for her and getting irritated with you! I think this friend needed a dose of reality. Many people (like myself) would have had a few other choice words to call her, rather than just "easy". Hey, ... (read in full...)
Any men on DC who don't like porn?
Q. *OP's Original Title* Are there any men on DC who don't watch porn? Or never have? If so, why not? Ii'd like a tally please. I've only ever met one man who doesn't. ...
A. 27 June 2010: As a female, I don't see why porn is so offensive! It is just a fantasy and a quick escape. I could see it becoming a problem if your partner is turning you away and preferring his digital partners instead, but lets be real. It's a pretty basic ... (read in full...)
Turban wearing man seeks honest opinions
Q. So I moved into the states when I was 10 and now that I am getting older (in my 20s) I am finding that finding love is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. My question is for all women. I am a turban wearing man with a trimmed beard. I...
A. 27 June 2010: I can see why you might feel awkward about your appearance, but you shouldn't! It might not be the popular or mainstream behavior to wear a turban in the USA, but hey, it's what you do and you should embrace it and love it. As a woman, I look for a ... (read in full...)
14, want the right guy, and need to be allowed to date
Q. hi, im chelsea...i want to know how to find the right guy...how do i know if hes perfect for me...also how do i get my mom to let me go on a date with a boy..im 14,i should be aloud to go on dates so i need advice on how to find the right guy and ...
A. 27 June 2010: Hi sweetie. :-) It's completely normal to be yearning for a boyfriend and the opportunity to date at your age, but you mustn't forget that a boy is not the absolute way to find happiness in this world. You have your entire life ahead of you to worry ... (read in full...)
Things went bad with my best guy friend
Q. I ruined my friendship with my best guy friend. We almost hooked up a couple of times when we were drunk and it went downhill from there. He said something offensive to me another day and I stopped talking to him because of it. He was honestly one ...
A. 27 June 2010: I've been there a time or two. Well, here's the thing. If you've tried hooking up or at least attempted to, do you have feelings beyond friendship for this boy? If you have feelings for him, chances are it will never feel completely "normal", ... (read in full...)
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