My wife and I fight about laundry! I mean REALLY fight about it!
Q. My wife doesn't like to do laundry. She says she doesn't like the noise (we have a small house so doing a load of laundry permeates) and apparently doesn't like any other aspect of it either. She will let her laundry pile up until she has nothing ...
A. 27 May 2020: Everyone is going on about this disagreement about the washing, but this will be just the tip of the ice berg. When something as simple as this cannot be agreed on and sorted and gets bigger and bigger it is not long before other things, worse ... (read in full...)
Lockdown causing problems in our relationship and I'm not sure how to fix things
Q. Hi all, hope everyone is staying safe and coping well during the pandemic. So I'm in a relatively new relationship, about 6 months with my boyfriend who is 1 year older than me. We met on a dating app. I thought we had got on well when we would me...
A. 27 May 2020: With millions of single people out there who are looking for a serious relationship why stick with one where it is hard work, more bad bits than good bits and not really compatible? ... (read in full...)
Blocked, I'm angry at how all the blame is on me, should I send a letter and a gift?
Q. I was seeing a girl and she has a boyfriend, who she got just a few weeks after we met. Turns out she wanted to see both of us. But recently finally, the boyfriend found out her secret. She was out with me, and he got security to bget into her room ...
A. 27 May 2020: She has shown her true colours. You now know she is selfish, manipulative, crafty and self serving. Is that not enough for you to move on? You did well out of it while it lasted, just be grateful for the fun you had then. There was no way it could ... (read in full...)
I have an enormous crush on my doctor. What do I do now?
Q. So here's my situation. I met my new GP a few months ago and she's been amazing. She's a great doctor. She gives me prescriptions for my current health issue. She sends me to specialists when I need them. She's always available for appointments. She ...
A. 27 May 2020: Swap doctors. This poor woman is simply doing her job, none of this is her fault. She has never encouraged you in anyway, and I am sure you would not be her type if she were looking for someone. The longer you let this continue the more you get ... (read in full...)
The more I try to better myself the nastier my friend becomes.
Q. Thanks in advance for answers to my guestion. This is a great site. I have been friends with this paticular friend for about ten years. I cannot say that this is the only friendship I have been evaluating lately. I have a great job and have started ...
A. 27 May 2020: You were never equipped to help her, you are not a qualified medical professional. You tried to get her to be interested in you, as someone to visit and date, she did not want to. Why would you want to get involved with a person with mental health ... (read in full...)
Wife no longer desires sex. Do I just go without?
Q. How did I get into this? I am a retired/disabled mechanical engineer. My disability is neuropathy, but I do not have diabetes. I live with extreme pain everyday. I married my Wife in 1993, and I married my best friend. I love her with all my h...
A. 27 May 2020: I know guys who are much younger than you who have a far better understanding about women, how they tick, their emotional and sexual needs and how to please them and get on "their good side". I also know lots of mature ladies who use the excuse ... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend is moving to Panama for 6 months and is leaving me behind. He wants me to wait for him. Should I?
Q. I know I won't get any sympathy here but I am looking for some advice. Mistresses have nowhere to go. My married lover (he is more like a boyfriend now) is going to Panama with his wife in September to spend 6 months out of the year there, ever...
A. 24 May 2020: You sound so wise, you understand your situation inside and out, you have analysed it and worked it out. Yet you allow your "heart" your emotions to tell your brain to turn off, and ignore everything your wise brain comes up with.
You have bee... (read in full...)
Where did I mess up with the LDR who faded on me?
Q. This girl and I first met a couple of years ago, casually hanged out a couple of times, then went back to our own countries on the opposite sides of the world. A few months later, we briefly met one more time when I travelled to her country; we had ...
A. 22 May 2020: Sorry but this was not a relationship it was a casual quick thing at most. Both wanted different things, but wanted different types of people, but looked at things in a different way. She was the sensible one. She gets you to travel to her. Saving ... (read in full...)
Writing on behalf of my friend about his ex.
Q. Hi everyone, this is my first post so please bare with me. I am writing on behalf of my friend (M 22) who had a situation with his ex (F 21) recently which I am very concerned about. They have known each other for about 8 years so their history is ...
A. 22 May 2020: You say your friend and his woman are very bright, but none of what you say in your very long monologue backs that up. Why are you so engrossed with this and obsessed with it? It is almost as if you care more about it than they do? Do you not have a ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend refuses to discuss our relationship.
Q. My girlfriend got drunk one day after an argument. She met up with a friend and they took a guy back to her place. Her friend left but the guy stayed. The next day she said nothing happened and told me they were both naked in the bed. She also told ...
A. 22 May 2020: You both sound very immature and unworldly, both not thinking things through, both living for the moment without planning things or pre empting things that others would. You need to wise up before you can get into any relationship with a woman and ... (read in full...)
I worry I am just this woman's plaything.
Q. Been seeing someone for about four months for only one day a week, she don't have any more time for me, it's really good that one day a week, I told her I looked her up on Facebook, she got really mad an said not to do that again and block me, am I ...
A. 20 May 2020: A lot of guys dream of being a woman's sexual toy and play thing who is only part of her life for entertainment and fun with no commitments. Especially at your age. But if you really want a long term and serious relationship with more time this ... (read in full...)
Married for 5 years and I'm unhappy and don't feel desired
Q. Hi Hope you can help me with my marriage and whether this is normal. I have been married 5 years. We have a 3 year old and I have 2 stepchildren. My husband is a really wonderful father and works really hard. I work full time as well. I don’...
A. 19 May 2020: Your husband shows he loves you in his ways, chores etc, but you want affection too. I can understand that. But where this is going wrong big time is that you keep asking him to do things, instead of just deciding it will be done. i.e. YOU decide ... (read in full...)
A close friend has fallen in love, and it leaves me bored!
Q. One of my closest and dearest friends has in the last year entered into a relationship. The guy, he's got with is absolutely perfect for him. And I see them being together for a good long time. His whole life now revolves around his relationship. ...
A. 19 May 2020: What would the alternatives be? Do you think your friend should put your friendship first and his relationship second? Not realistic is it? If you are totally single then of course your life is emptier than his, but whose fault is that? Find ... (read in full...)
Wife no longer desires sex. Do I just go without?
Q. How did I get into this? I am a retired/disabled mechanical engineer. My disability is neuropathy, but I do not have diabetes. I live with extreme pain everyday. I married my Wife in 1993, and I married my best friend. I love her with all my h...
A. 19 May 2020: I feel very sorry for both of you but some of the ideas that have come up are not at all realistic. Your wife says you can go and have sex elsewhere... who with? Surely she realises that women do not want a middle aged married man, even a middle ... (read in full...)
He criticizes my driving and it’s wrecking my confidence and ability!
Q. Heeeellpppp, i am a long time driving vihicles already. Im driving bycicles, real motorbike sometimes with 1 or 2 behind me as passenger plus my baby dog infront basket ( please dont get mad" that is normal in asia, when your small baby dog is train ...
A. 19 May 2020: I had a similar problem to yours. When I started driving my guy would come out with me and sit in the back seat telling me I was going too fast, too slow, too close to kerb and all the rest. I had to put my foot down and say look I would like you to ... (read in full...)
My partner's family never acknowledge my birthday
Q. Hi everyone, I am 63 and my guy is 65. We both own our own businesses, both fairly healthy. No children. We got together six years ago and both had no children from before. He lives with me in my house and they have often visited here and spent a ...
A. 19 May 2020: Most of you misunderstood the situation. This is not a case of how I have a thing about birthdays and they are not interested in them. Every one of them is around the same age as us, got loads of money and time, makes a big fuss about all of the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has had more sexual partners than I am comfortable with. How can I find a way to accept this?
Q. I'm struggling with the number of sex partners my boyfriend has had before meeting me. I've only been with one other man besides him and that was my ex husband. My bf has had sex with way more people than I have. But he says his morals and values ...
A. 19 May 2020: If you find it hard to accept that your boyfriend has been economical with the truth, dishonest at times and more into sex then you do not find ways to accept it. You decide to stay and not complain and accept it or end the relationship, those are ... (read in full...)
My father moved on very quickly after my mother died and I don't like his partner
Q. Dear Cupid. So my mother passed away almost a year and a half ago, (November 2018) I’m an only child and still very hurt over it for reasons. 4 months after my mother moved out of the family home in 2016 he met a woman and she moved in quit qu...
A. 19 May 2020: Your father is not hurting you on purpose. He can be tactless,he can be caught up in his new life, but it is not meant to hurt you in anyway, do not take it personally. Imagine if you had been happy and then lonely and then found someone who made ... (read in full...)
I recognise the man on the dating site, and he is MARRIED!
Q. Dear Cupid. I'm on a dating site and have had a man message me saying "Hey how are you going :)" and "Your super cute, love to know more about yourself!? Feel free to ask me anything" Anyway, I Looked this guy up on facebook because I recogni...
A. 19 May 2020: Online dating is difficult because there are so many scammers and shifty people using it for ulterior motives. The two main ones being married men pretending to be single (also men who live with women pretending they are single by saying no I am not ... (read in full...)
How can I help him? He says his penis is dead
Q. My name is friendly I have a question about my friend he is 40 going to be 41 in November we been friends for a year and we haven't had sex for awhile he said to about his cock is dead. What can I do to help him From your friend...
A. 19 May 2020: How is it your responsibility to sort out his problem for him? Is he unable to speak? Unable to make phone calls? Unable to go to a doctor? Is he chained up in your basement? No. He is supposedly a grown adult who can interact and contact and ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with the incredibly annoying and somewhat creepy flatmate that I'm stuck with during lockdown?
Q. I'm currently living away from home in the UK, sharing a flat with three others. Unfortunately, due to the coronavirus lockdown two of them have gone to live with their friends nearby a couple of months ago, so it's just me and a male flatmate whom ...
A. 19 May 2020: I feel sorry for you but the problem is caused partly by you being in this situation due to the lock down, and this guy being immature, weird (sounds like aspergers to me) but also made worse by you not being clear and assertive with this guy. When ... (read in full...)
Advice for dating someone deployed in the military?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating just four months. We met online and before we met, he was very upfront and honest about him joining the Navy. He just left for a 7-week bootcamp which will be followed by a 24-week training. He plans to work in IT ...
A. 15 May 2020: It is great that you have found someone you click with so well,someone who is perfect in many ways. Go for it, enjoy it, make the most of it, work at it. You sound very mature and smart and do not really need help, just support and encouragement. ... (read in full...)
This guy I've met shares a house, and sometimes meals, with his ex wife.
Q. I have met someone He is divorced and has 3 grown children the youngest is 20 and still in college. The ex wife and he share a house he lives in the basement and she lives on the first floor. They sometimes share meals and when daughter comes home ...
A. 15 May 2020: I believe that this arrangement was put together for economic reasons, but that is another thing you ought to be looking at. Do you want to get serious and fall in loved with a guy who has financial problems? Would you then be expected to go without ... (read in full...)
My partner's family never acknowledge my birthday
Q. Hi everyone, I am 63 and my guy is 65. We both own our own businesses, both fairly healthy. No children. We got together six years ago and both had no children from before. He lives with me in my house and they have often visited here and spent a ...
A. 14 May 2020: A bit puzzled about the responses to this. I read this to mean that her partner's family all make a huge thing of birthdays and celebrate the birthdays in style making a big issue of the cards, with all of the rest of the family but not her. Not ... (read in full...)
No one takes me on real dates
Q. Dating is not what I thought it would be and I'm ready to give up! My first boyfriend I was 13 and it was fine till he dumped me. We were in 7th grade and most teachers by then didn't make us have assigned seats so we sat next to each other. W...
A. 14 May 2020: I feel very sorry for you and in some ways you sound like me. To me dating is about romance, a bond, a special friendship, passion, a togetherness, not just a guy wanting to grope someone who looks fit and is eager and obliging where anyone will do. ... (read in full...)
I believe my husband married me for convenience.
Q. Dear Cupid I'm married to my current husband for 2 years and been together for 4 years, (2 years before marriage). I am not sure whether i love my husband or not, reasons below. 1. He never told he loves me even once in this 4 years, his reason...
A. 14 May 2020: You have very good insight into what the problem is and your feelings are turned on to the point of screaming out in agony. But you need to look at this differently. If he is with you for convenience fine, that is his choice and you should have ... (read in full...)
Is it time for me to finally move on?
Q. A few years ago I fell for a friend. We spent a lot of time together and all of his words and actions signalled he had romantic interest. I did not know where I stood with him so I asked him and he started panicking and said “he might have been ...
A. 14 May 2020: This guy is never going to respect or take any woman seriously. You know that but you have this totally unrealistic idea that you can change him and make him into what you want him to be - like a stepford wife.
He is immature and so are you. He ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if he still wants to bother
Q. Hi! So I have been speaking to this guy for a few weeks now - met on tinder but have talked on the phone and everything. He’s after a relationship as he said he’s had enough of one night stands or whatever (this isn’t the point of the question ...
A. 14 May 2020: Hi, you may not like my reply but you say you want and need honesty so here it is. You come across as quite desperate and needy, as if this man is your whole World when in reality he is not even dating you!
Once you are a grown up, an adult, y... (read in full...)
My family ignored my repeated requests to have a homemade card for my birthday. I"m hurt and disappointed!
Q. Ok, so it is my 19th birthday today, so this may sound trivial, but it's important to me. When I was growing up, it was a tradition to make birthday/anniversary/Christmas/thank you cards for family. That continued for me and my older brother until ...
A. 30 July 2014: I get the impression that you wanted them to make you a card simply to prove your point - that they care. There are other ways people can prove they care, by feeding you, by putting a roof over your head, by listening to you and spending time ... (read in full...)
He wants to hang out with me but I know he has a girlfriend. What should I do?
Q. I'll be starting uni in the fall as an international student, and, as I'm sure most incoming freshmen do, I did a little facebook research on the current students at this university. Of course, I didn't contact any of the guys, and was left just ...
A. 30 July 2014: I would advise you not to bother with this guy. You have very low self esteem and talk as if he is some sort of God who is doing you a big favour if he contacts you yet he has a girlfriend which he conveniently forgets to discuss with you. She is ... (read in full...)
My looks turn people off. Why wont people give me a chance? I'm lonely and I need friends
Q. My sad story here we go. My looks turn people off. I'm married have a child but want girlfriends to have coffee with. I'm not that ugly but look real young for my age and older people think I'm a kid and younger ones think I'm uncool. I dress ...
A. 30 July 2014: You do not need facebook - the so called friends on there are not friends. You do need true friends you can meet up with and spend time with. People who judge you by your "conservative clothes" are not people you should want to be friends with ... (read in full...)
He was always happy to talk on the phone, but not so much for getting together in person
Q. I met a guy online 5 months ago and we went on our first date after about 3 weeks of chatting. We had a great time and it was clear we got on well. Soon after our first date, he started calling me every night and we would speak for over an hour ...
A. 30 July 2014: We cannot change the past but we can learn from it. The mistake you made was to always be available for him when he wanted those phone chats. I am sure there were other people out there he would ring and they were out having a good time or the... (read in full...)
Are these my issues or should I be concerned that my Bf prefers breasts that are more pert?
Q. If I'm with my bf and he has told me he is more of a leg man and prefer smaller breasts and I'm short with larger breasts should I even bother with trying to involve them in foreplay and sex for his benefit . To me my breast are not extremel...
A. 30 July 2014: I would be more concerned with this obsession with looks. Why is it about looks? Does your personality, background, education, attitude and intelligence not play a part in whether or not he likes you a lot? And if a certain type of breasts is so ... (read in full...)
I want him to meet my extended family but he says he has to work!
Q. My boyfriend is a football coach in an academy he works 6 days a week which includes every weekend. Is it unreasonable for me to want him to have a Saturday off for my aunt and uncles 40th wedding anniversary so he can meet my extended family? He's ...
A. 30 July 2014: You are wanting him to take a day off of work for this anniversary but it seems to me that this is more as a test to see if he is very keen on you and pleasing you, than because of the anniversary celebration itself. I am quite sure your aunt and... (read in full...)
The more I talk to her the stronger my feelings grow.
Q. a girl has come in my life and she is like my best friend.she said we can only be best friends and i respect that and dont have any problems with it. we been talking to each other over phone regularly for past couple of months. i can live as a fri...
A. 30 July 2014: The feelings you are experiencing are more likely to be a crush because they are not reciprocated but things may change, she may slowly fall for you too. You can either stick with it in the hope of but knowing at the back of your mind that it ... (read in full...)
Online dating issues. I want to message him, but what would I say to him now?
Q. I joined an online dating site and met a man and had quite a few dates with him. He wanted to keep his options open, but I caught him out in a lie when he said he was not at a place when he was. Since then he went quiet on me and so I told him he's...
A. 29 July 2014: Hi there. As your "relationship" with this guy is so short and casual he does not have to tell you what he is doing or where he goes and it is up to him whether he wants to. A relationship has to become long term, monogomous and serious before you ... (read in full...)
Is this guy just faking poverty or does divorce really affect dads this badly so far down the line?
Q. A question to people, especially men, who are more than 3 years post divorce. How come a guy would still be struggling financially at that time to the extent that he can’t afford to rent the most basic apartment or run his car? This is assuming ...
A. 24 June 2011: In my view you looking at this all wrong. The question should not be "is he faking poverty?" it should be "why am I letting a man I do not trust live in my house and helping him with money?" This guy is sponging off of you.
His finances are his prob... (read in full...)
He has been cheating the entire time with a girl online! Should I break up with him? Or forgive him and trust that he wants me, not her?
Q. Totally shattered. Please read - I have been with my boyfriend since one year. All the relationships I've been in before, the guys cheated on me. I was emotionally vulnerable when I met my present boyfriend, we had common friends. Both of us a...
A. 24 June 2011: He is not worth it. Dump him. The real issue here is your lack of confidence and self esteem. A person who values themself would not even consider being with such a dishonest and selfish man. Until you get help with your confidence issues you will ... (read in full...)
In the past she had affairs with married men! Is this a deal-breaker?
Q. a girl I have been dating for 6 months, and who up to now, I have liked a lot, revealed to me that in the past, not too distant, she dated a few married men. she is 28. one was when she was about 20, the other when she was 26. she slept with both of ...
A. 24 June 2011: Leopards do not change their spots. Once a cheat always a cheat. I would not say your girlfriend ruined other people's marriages. The husbands that went with her did that and if she had not been stupid enough to go with them someone else would. ... (read in full...)
Torn between two lovers
Q. I'm in love with two men. The other one is my ex boyfriend (Jan) and the other is my friend (Matthew). Jan just broke up with me recently this month. He actually broke up with me twice for two consecutive days. He broke up with me because he is so ...
A. 24 June 2011: You cannot be in love with two people at the same time! Most are only ever in love once in the whole of their very long life. You can fancy two men or like two men or be fond of them, but not be in love with them. Anyway, being in love means you ... (read in full...)
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