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| | ButterflyKisses's profile:I'm a 26 year young woman. I love the water, being outdoors and dancing. I wish I could sing, but it doesn't stop me from belting out loud to my favorite songs. :-)
I'm happily married and enjoy being a Mom. I've learned a lot from my teen years and early 20's. I've been through a great deal, some of them vicariously. I have my Master's degree in counseling, but I think this only supplements the advice that I offer. I think life experience is crucial to helping others.
"...I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
..." |
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I'm just so tired of feeling ugly. How can I make myself pretty?
Q. Hi, This is really long, sorry. Im almost 16 and for my whole teenage life (maybe even longer) i have been really self concious about my looks. Its got to a stage now where I HATE myself. No lads show me attention and Tbh i dont blame them - I feel...
A. 7 August 2008: I know it's hard to believe, but the more confidence you have and exhibit, the more attractive you will become - to yourself, and to others, as well. Confidence can exude from your posture, the way you carry yourself, holding your head high, using ... (read in full...)
My bf told me he still has strong feelings for his ex, so I worry he will go back to her, please advise!
Q. Hi guys i now you are all going to say im stupid but my boyfreind of 6 months told me last night that he still has really strong feelings for his ex the mother of his daughter he says he always has done since school and will always have strong ...
A. 3 August 2008: The only advice I can offer here is this: If you are willing to be his second-best choice, then there is no problem. I respect his honesty with you, but please don't expect to change his mind, or convince yourself that if you could only do "more of ... (read in full...)
Should I be angry or am I to blame? surely he is at least guilty of giving me mixed messages, so why is he blaming me?
Q. Should I be angry or am I to blame? In the last six months my relationship of over a decade ended - badly. I turned to a friend from my past for solace as he too had just come out of a three year relationship. He had pursued me over a number of ...
A. 3 August 2008: Even a deceitful man, who acknowledges his mistakes, has more integrity than the man, in which you describe. You have absolutley every reason to feel angry at him for displacing all of the blame onto you. At least you can now pluck him from the ... (read in full...)
Will I ever trust again? How do you get on with your life when you are this broken inside? Are there good men who don't cheat and hurt the people they love?
Q. My boyfriend left me for another woman after telling me I was the love of his life. I had finally learned to trust him after another man I was engaged to cheated on me numerous times. I thought this last boyfriend was different and he was so good to ...
A. 3 August 2008: If this is the second time in your life, where the man you loved has cheated on you, then I think it's time to reevalute the way you deal with relationships. Similar to a spouse of an addict, there are certain codependent traits that enable the ... (read in full...)
Husband says he feels "smothered" and does not know what he wants. Should I stick around to see what he decides?
Q. I have been married for a little over two years. It has been rocky, but I have been committed and trying to do all I can to make the marriage work. Anyway, a few months ago, my husband simply decided he didn't want to be married anymore, which of...
A. 3 August 2008: "Feeling smothered" is not a justifiable reason for seperation/divorce, in my opinon. I'm assuming you feel the same way. It sounds like an excuse to a larger issue. I would start by setting some boundaries with him. For example, give him four-eight ... (read in full...)
I'm heartbroken and a doormat when it comes to my ex. What can I do?
Q. I dont really know where to start, im just heartbroken and I need to talk to someone...so here goes Me and my ex have been on and off for about 10 years (im 28 hes 31), we have had about 4 breakups in that time, mainly because he wants to be sing...
A. 3 August 2008: Based on ten years past experience, this man (and I use the term loosely), has evidence and reassurance that YOU are not going anywhere, regardless of his immature and hurtful behavior.
You ask, "How do I get over him?" No one can give you an answ... (read in full...)
Is he entitled to know who I was talking to?
Q. If a guy you are dating calls you when you are already on the other line and you ask him if you can call him right back, is it okay for him to ask you who you are talking to that is more important than him?...
A. 3 August 2008: I think your question is irrelevant (not in a snarky way). It's not a question of right or wrong. If your significant other is asking that question he/she has little confidence in himself/herself, and just as little confidence about the ... (read in full...)
I love someone else and am scared I will lose her if I don't act quick (I'm unhappily married)
Q. I have been married for about 11 years and not satisfied or happy. Pretty lonely actually. My wife has no desire to do anything, including sex which we may have had 2 or 3 times in the last 3 years. I feel like I have to drag her along and we ...
A. 3 August 2008: While I understand that you are currently unhappy, I think it is only fair to be honest with your wife before you make drastic changes in your life (i.e. leaving your wife). I would tell your wife that you are unhappy and contemplating a ... (read in full...)
Which is accurate, the vaginal exam results or the blood and urine tests?
Q. Is a vaginal exam stating I'm pregnant accurate, while blood work and urine are saying negative?...
A. 27 March 2008: No! A vaginal exam can only tell you the position of your cervix (opened or closed) and it's relative location (high or low). During pregnancy, your cervix is high and closed. This alone, however, is NOT a reliable predictor of pregnancy. The ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him how I feel about the "ex experience" without him realising I read his mail?
Q. Im in a great relationship but my boyfriend gave me his email password to check something for him in his account.I started looking at his emails from months ago partially due to curiosity and what I found worried me. He has been friends with thi...
A. 29 January 2008: Are you sure he wasn't testing you? I find it hard to believe that he "forgot" that e-mail was on there. I would be very careful how you proceed from this point. If you confront him about this, he could easily turn the tables on you for snooping in ... (read in full...)
What happened years ago kills me inside and I just cant seem to get over it.
Q. Where to start... I'm 26 y/o. I have been with my husband for 9 years and married for 3 years. We started dating when we were 17. When we were 21, my husband (boyfriend at the time) starting acting strange and distant. I learned that he was becoming...
A. 22 January 2008: Thank you for sharing your opinions! I have given it a lot of thought. I DO want to put this behind me, but I cannot do it by igoring my feelings. I am going to bring it up to my husband in a non confrontational way. I'm not mad, afterall, I'm ... (read in full...)
Is my husband gone for good? After his affair we attempted to save our marriage and he never gave me any cause to think he was not happy, on the contrary...
Q. apologies first as this is a bit of a long one! I have been married for 20 years this year and on the 2nd January my husband informed me he was not happy and had not been so for the last year and wanted to leave. The background to this is 6 months ...
A. 16 January 2008: This is obviously a complex situation and I don't mean to sound too simplistic when I respond.
Could your independency be creating feelings of incompetency or inadequacy in your husband? Perhaps your success as a career-oriented woman, or the i... (read in full...)
I cannot break up with my gf, yet..I want to do it! Help!
Q. Why cant i break up with my girlfriend?!? I know i want to do it, i want to see other girls and i cannot picture myself with my current Girlfriend forever. I think about other girls and dating them ALOT, yet i cannot break up with my girlfrie...
A. 15 January 2008: My guess is that you don't want to feel responsible for causing her pain and you don't want her to have ill will towards you. Although your romantic feelings for her have changed, I'm sure you still care about her as a person. You are doing ... (read in full...)
Do women actually like the 'needier' man and enjoy caretaking him?
Q. Does anyone think that some women can actually like needy guys who never got love from their mothers?I guess I'm asking are there women who like to take care of men? And if so,why?...
A. 15 January 2008: I'm not sure, "needy," is a key ingredient for any person seeking a partner. How would you define it?
I think most healthy relationships are complimentary, where both partners equally contribute in different ways.
In my opinion, "needine... (read in full...)
Going with my girl for 2 years, but the little things are annoying me, any advice?
Q. Hello, my problem is this. I've been with a girl for nearly 2 years. I had liked her for some time before and eventually we came together. It was a weird twist of fate for me since this thing usually does not happen, and I was thrilled. I thought ...
A. 15 January 2008: I think this is a somewhat predicatable cycle for most healthy relationships. My husband (boyfriend at the time) went through the exact same emotions.
For many, it's the predictability and redundancy in a stable relationship that overcomes the ... (read in full...)
Going with my girl for 2 years, but the little things are annoying me, any advice?
Q. Hello, my problem is this. I've been with a girl for nearly 2 years. I had liked her for some time before and eventually we came together. It was a weird twist of fate for me since this thing usually does not happen, and I was thrilled. I thought ...
A. 15 January 2008: I think this is a somewhat predicatable cycle for most healthy relationships. My husband (boyfriend at the time) went through the exact same emotions.
For many, it's the predictability and redundancy in a stable relationship that overcomes the ... (read in full...)
He swears he loves me. But I can't help but feel he's truly not attracted to me. Advice?
Q. My boyfriend is 27 and I am 36. I want sex about 5 x a week, but he says he just can't do that. I found, however, that he looks at porn about every other day. I could do it more than we do, and he knows how his choice of porn over me makes me ...
A. 15 January 2008: First of all, I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. I would probably stop voicing your opinion about the pornography. He knows how you feel, and it only adds fuel to the fire each time you remind him. In fact, I would stop asking for sex, too. ... (read in full...)
How can I make him more interested in me instead of her?
Q. Theres this young fellow i like, and hes obviously interested in me as well because he asked me to be his gf.. but we were at a party and he was drunk, so i declined.. but we're friends who will "see what happens in the future.." Moving on.. he ...
A. 15 January 2008: Guys are actually pretty simple. If he wants to be with you - he will, and if he wants to be with the other girl - he will (unless she doesn't want him). Whatever the case, don't allow yourself to be the back-up girl. If I were you, I would try to ... (read in full...)
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