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Will changing my appearance help me attract women?

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Question - (6 March 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 March 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *ndy00 writes:

Will changing my appearance help me attract women?

As you will see on my profile, my hairstyle is pretty unique to say the least. I've had it this way for the past six years or so, and I think it's time for a change. My hair gets me a lot of good and bad attention. When I go to a club, there are lots of guys and girls who like to come up and touch my hair. They'll say "You're hair is amazing! I love it!" ect, but unfortunately, when a girl says that to me, there's no real way of telling whether she likes me, or whether she just likes my hair. Also, it's difficult to ask because communicating in clubs is no easy task.

If I cut my hair, chances are this attention (both good and bad) will vanish. I don't know whether looking like a "normal person" will help me attract women, or whether having an edge to my look is helping me and I just don't know how to use it to my advantage.

I'd love to know what you think.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009):

Your hair is amazing! If women are telling you that I would guess they mean it. And actually, your hair is what initially attracts the ladies...you need to find a way to keep them interested. Spice up your personality, be confident (as others have suggested) and just be yourself!

Do what is comfortable for you, whether it is cutting your hair, or anything else! My personal advice would be that if you do decide to cut it...do it gradually. Don't go from one extreme to another...you may regret it! Don't shave your head!!! LOL Good Luck with the ladies!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009):

You should do what you feel you want to do to broaden your range of opportunities. Though some people may say "it's mainly about the confidence", we all know it's not wholly true. I can prove this with many of the tests I've put people through in the last decade.

You NEED to look at least presentable when you're out. No one is going to give you a second look if you're wearing garbage bags EVEN if you're God of Confidence.

It's like trying to get a job with a broader range of industries. You want better chances and better opportunities, what do you do? Fill up your resume with a bigger broader range of portfolio pieces.

A pure photographer is NOT going to get a job at a high profile Auditing firm like one of the Big Four's.

A fat ass slob is NOT going to be able to attract more women the way his/her imagination desires it, even s/he can strut around like the most confident person in the world. IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. ^_^

Then again, think of it this way: as you said, you will gain some more and lose others. However, what if you kept your hair BUT change the other pieces of yourself? You don't even to purely change your looks. Maybe broaden your social hobbies. Maybe you can expand your networks, by doing charity work to show others that you have a more caring side.

There are TONS of ways you can expand your attractiveness and not all of them even has to do with looks alone. It's really a combination of things.

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A female reader, ButterflyKisses United States +, writes (6 March 2009):

Believe it or not, confidence is the main thing that keeps a woman interested. Honestly, the hair will only get you so far, anyway. It might be a drawing card, initially, but if there is no substance behind the hair, the woman will lose interest. I'm assuming that you do have substance behind that hair, right? :-)

It sounds like your hair gives you immediate attention, which you could possibly lose if you cut it. It serves the same purpose as a man with hundreds of tatoos, or piercings, etc. It's a shock factor that draws loads of attention, but it's very short-lived as they become used to your style. There needs to be a personality that keeps them interested, and it sounds like you do keep them interested - so stop giving all that credit to your hair.

With that said, do what you want with your hair because it only serves a small purpose - the initial attention drawer.

Good luck!!

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