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... Send *oy Blue a private message | | | *oy Blue's profile:Hello my name is Anthony,
I don't have any qualifications, I just treat people as they were my own friend and try to look at everything from a different perspective.
I live by myself and I love it very much.
I dislike people who try to beat around the bush or derail a conversation.
I am single. |
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Who do I lose my virginity to? Someone I love...or not?
Q. Would it be better to lose your virginity to someone your totally madly in love with? Or someone you dont care too much for?? I want to lose it to someone im in love with but i dont wanna feel a huge freakin piece missing from me if/when we break...
A. 14 October 2010: Indeed losing your virginity to someone you love that you may break up with sounds bad but there is just as much emotional set backs to losing your virginity with someone you don't love. You may not appreciate sex there after, or feel used. If you ... (read in full...)
Should I listen to my parents or my heart?
Q. Me and Blake have been dating on and off for 3 years.Were both 17. My parents just stubbornly have their foot down..a positive NO that i cant see him. They think he's a bad person. One night i got caught sneaking out to see him (this was when they ...
A. 14 October 2010: Well count the blessing that you are still in his life somehow even though it is not perfect. Even if you stopped talking to him, I've found that...it is difficult to make parents happy when they are unwilling to talk about these matters. Either way ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that he sent her this message? Was it right that he did that?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating on and off for 3 years. Would have been 3 years straight if it werent for this one girl Kristen. He kept cheating on me with her..then they started dating. Things got horrible between them. I mean BAD. It made ...
A. 14 October 2010: If that is what he told you then I don't think you should be worried. I mean I don't see what there is to worry about so I might be missing something. You are probably reading too much into what happened. ... (read in full...)
She never calls me, so I'm thinking I should make the 2 hour drive and go see her! Any input?
Q. Hey my question is kind of long so here goes, my girlfriend left town a month ago, she says her mom and dad made a plan to ''kidnapp'' her. She hasnt ended things or anything of the sort, i on the other hand am trying to get over her but i cant get ...
A. 14 October 2010: Well if you are going to sort things out try to compile your mind to know the things that you do want to talk about. But just because you get there doesn't mean she will be willing to talk to you. From what you've said it sounds like she doesn't ... (read in full...)
Complicated and hurtful family mess
Q. I feel really stupid writing about this, but I would like to get other people's takes on this situation. My 29 year old daughter is "re-marrying" her husband of 10 years. I haven't spoken to either of them in over a year because last year I was ...
A. 14 October 2010: As a young person I understand how you feel and indeed you have every right to not go to the wedding. If your family deem you to be a monster then it just adds to the reasons why you should not go to the wedding. No one should treat their mother ... (read in full...)
S it right to have it end like this... Or should we try at it?
Q. First off, thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this, I really appreciate the help. Anywho, I'm pretty upset right now because my girlfriend and I just got out of yet another argument about an hour ago and I don't know what to do. W...
A. 14 October 2010: So basically there's no sex and she escalates fights right? Not to mention she's even suggesting a break up and if I didn't know any better the love seems kinda one sided? Naturally you think that by being there for her anyway you can, she should be ... (read in full...)
Am I the only one who thinks her erratic behavior is indicative of a deeper problem?
Q. My ex has a lot of serious issues, alcoholism, severe depression, her dad died a few months ago, and she used to be a cutter. After our breakup she confessed to me and only me that it made her want to cut herself again. she also ONLY told me she ...
A. 11 October 2010: Indeed they do not go away. They morph and turn into...crazy. She's pretty much loco and her denial will consume her to be like this for a very long time, begging for attention where she find clarity in her mess of a life. She has problems but don't ... (read in full...)
If you're questioning if he's the one, then he's probably not, right?
Q. When do you know he's the right one? Or do you? I guess if you're questioning it, he probably is NOT the one?...
A. 8 October 2010: Questioning it is not the best way of indicating "the right one". Some people question things to look for excuses to avoid their own insecurities. Any meaningful, long lasting relationship is made strong with hard work, trust, determination and ... (read in full...)
Did she cheat when we were first starting out?
Q. My girlfriend has had a series of FWB relationships before me. Most of them overlapped considerably. When I started out with her, we were FWB, but it quickly evolved into a serious, committed relationship after a few months. I found out later on ...
A. 8 October 2010: You should let it go because you can't change things nor should it make a difference to you whether you know or not. If you are as committed and in love as you claim you shouldn't be trying to pick at her past just because you had some slight ... (read in full...)
I need help making the right choices to be healthy
Q. I have been feeling so sad about how I look and feel about myself. I really want to change my lifestyle by eating right and exercising. I want to get better physically and emotionally. They say that when you eat right and exercise that it makes you ...
A. 8 October 2010: Start by taking small exercise routines. Perhaps a jog or some treadmill work in the mornings. Try to start your day with a different healthier breakfast like cereal. You don't need to completely 180 your diet but don't try to starve yourself. Once ... (read in full...)
I feel like my life is cursed!
Q. Hi!! I am a Pakistani muslim girl. My problem is that my life is in turmoils right now. Nothing seems to go right even with my family members. Everyone has their own problems. It started when i got divorced a year back. It was the first marriage...
A. 7 October 2010: Hi there,
Try not to lose hope or the power in yourself. That is the one thing you should not lose. You have made it this far in life, why stop now? You still are able to do your PhD and that is something great that many are not able to do. Try ... (read in full...)
Why am I still thinking about my ex when I have a wonderful boyfriend?
Q. I'm having a serious problem figuring out my feelings and any insight would be appreciated more than you know. I dated this guy for a little less than two years. We were in high school at the time but we swore we were soul mates. We talked about ...
A. 7 October 2010: I suppose for many women even when they find someone great, they never seem to let go from that love they once shared for another. I see it in my mom and honestly it just seems like she couldn't get over it because it wasn't her choice. If she had ... (read in full...)
Should I give up or try?
Q. Hi, I was just in a very bad break up and am wondering now if I should just give up or if I should try. The Situation: We have been together for 2 years, and occasionally have argued about things. We got into a really bad argument a while ago and ...
A. 6 October 2010: He will realize it if you give him space. Although giving him space will clear his head and allow him to decide if he loves you or not, so it can work both ways. I would say give him the space he wants and give yourself some as well, sounds like you ... (read in full...)
I really want the baby to be my boyfriend's
Q. I'm pregnant and I'm 12 weeks but I'm not sure if the baby my boyfriend cause I had sex with him and one more person during the month of July well my boyfriends knows about that but the thing about it when I have the baby and if it ain't his baby he ...
A. 6 October 2010: You should do a paternity test ... (read in full...)
I don't want to cut my ex out of my life completely
Q. My girlfriend and I recently broke up and it's been 3 weeks, however she's already in a relationship with someone else a week after ending things with me. She just put a posting on facebook about how she is happy. Suffice to say that ripped my heart ...
A. 4 October 2010: Don't put yourself through that. Your feelings for her would never leave if you began gaining false hopes. In the event you even message her, you will feel anxious waiting for some kind of reply. Honestly, ignore it.
Try your best to move on.... (read in full...)
What's it going to be like to be an old person?
Q. Ok so have you ever thought about what it is going to be like when you are older or like to have an actual job and family etc. Or when you die? Like I've always tried to imagine my self being 18 or whatever but I never can, like being allowed to go ...
A. 4 October 2010: When you are older, you always look back on your memories and many people wonder and wish that they could have done things a lot differently. Ironic really.
The future will come whether you want it or not. Enjoy being young and take advantag... (read in full...)
Stay at home mom wants to go back to school
Q. hi everyone, well i been a stay at home mom for about 2 1/2 years now and my husband came to me recently asking me what was i going to do next either go to school or get a job. im only 22 and i do want to go back to school is just that im scared ...
A. 4 October 2010: I am not in that situation of having a kid but there is nothing to be afraid of! It might even be refreshing going back to school and gaining this whole new, mature perspective on things. I'm 24 and decided to go back to school last year and that ... (read in full...)
Twitter codes and teenagers
Q. Ok this is probably the rarest question submitted. But i am hoping someone knows the answer. I have a 16 yr old daughter and as a concerned parent, I like to know what she is up to. I notice from time to time on her tweeter page she would type a b...
A. 4 October 2010: Imagine that, you got advice from people of your daughter's generation and you can't even take it into consideration. I talked with my friends and we all agree that your daughter's character code resembles that of sexual favors. You will have to ... (read in full...)
Twitter codes and teenagers
Q. Ok this is probably the rarest question submitted. But i am hoping someone knows the answer. I have a 16 yr old daughter and as a concerned parent, I like to know what she is up to. I notice from time to time on her tweeter page she would type a b...
A. 3 October 2010: True but as a parent I would want to learn to respect at least some of their privacy or in the case with my parents and I, they know everything about me as I of them as we are completely open about everything we do. My mom never looks down on me and ... (read in full...)
Leave my girlfriend for someone I'm so compatible with?
Q. I've been with my current girlfriend on and off for almost 7 years. We are very happy and I love her very much. However, recently I have met a new girl, and this girl has so much in common with me it is borderline eerie. Like the same movies, ...
A. 3 October 2010: I have a friend that had the same problem, but he was going through problems with his girlfriend as well which allowed him to break up with her. The other girl was more for him and he has been with her for a long time.
It's your choice, but you ... (read in full...)
What to do about my boyfriend? And his best friend?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now, and lately I've noticed some changes. I'll shorten this as much as I can.. He's kind of addicted to an online game, and I think that's where all of his problems come from. He gets ...
A. 3 October 2010: Is it Starcraft2 or WoW? Either way, he will be into his games far more than into you. You have to talk to him, face to face when he is not in front the pc and say what's really been bothering you. He'll prolly try to brush it off but tell him that ... (read in full...)
Broke it off with him, so he can have fun and get it out of his system! But now I miss him!
Q. hi im 18 years old and My boyfriend and I have recently broken up after dating for a year and seven months. I broke up with him on like "break terms" because he wasn't happy. he was always hot and cold when we were together one minute he was lovey ...
A. 3 October 2010: If you REALLY want him to have his space and for you to not be in this amount of torture the both of you can't be calling each other and saying things that implies a relationship. What's the point of him breaking up if he hasn't done anything with ... (read in full...)
Broke it off with him, so he can have fun and get it out of his system! But now I miss him!
Q. hi im 18 years old and My boyfriend and I have recently broken up after dating for a year and seven months. I broke up with him on like "break terms" because he wasn't happy. he was always hot and cold when we were together one minute he was lovey ...
A. 2 October 2010: So you love him and you have been focusing on yourself. Thats great. It's your choice to wait for him or not. Just hope you realize that you have a lot of waiting to do. He's having a great time with a girl who is waiting for him and he gets to ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be a virgin at thirty!
Q. I am a 26 year old female...I am pretty, friendly, have lots of guy friends....and most people don't believe me when I say that I am still a virgin. I mainly fear because I am overweight that no guy will be attracted to me. I used to be thin and fit ...
A. 2 October 2010: Perhaps you should lower your standards and give guys who do hit on you a chance within a decent amount of judgement of course. Try aiming for a decent guy and a meaningful relationship instead of the virgin idea coz then you just might seem ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me too much to leave so why am I so confused
Q. i had previously gotten some advice bcuz my bf cant get over my past which i cheated on my ex husband he says i will always b a cheater and at times puts me down.. he is hurt at the fact that i wuz not the girl he expected me to be... but i think he ...
A. 2 October 2010: I could be far off, but I think he's cheating on you...seems like he is using your past to constantly blame you for his own guilt. If he can't trust you because of your past and he seems certain of it then I don't even see the point of being with ... (read in full...)
Why would you say this too a taken man? I feel sick
Q. I found a text on my bfs phone [I realise I shouldn't have been looking] and it was from a girl that said "I am imaging us in the shower together". I feel sick. It didn't happen, she was just flirting. But all the same. Why would you say that to a ...
A. 1 October 2010: Why? I suppose men and women sometimes want what we can't have. The whole "forbidden fruit" idea is a little intriguing. Plus she has nothing to lose and can destroy your relationship if she wants by doing such things. On wider scope, men actually ... (read in full...)
What to do when you feel burned out?
Q. I'm at a point in my life where I have no clue what to do and I literally have no inspiration whatsoever. I compensated for being a fluke in high school by trying extra hard in college. Right now I'm getting my bachelor, but lately it just s...
A. 28 September 2010: Stop procrastinating and making excuses. Suck it up and get your work done. Worry about your direction in life and inspiration when you actually have completed your education. It's not always meant to be smooth sailing...sometimes you have to give ... (read in full...)
I want this to work, but in person he didn't seem sorry
Q. so i have been dating this guy for about a month and at first things were good. he was very sweet, he always wanted to hang out, he would compliment me all the time, he would make me feel wanted. however, this week things seemed to change. we got ...
A. 28 September 2010: Does things "seem" different or are they actually different? If they are different then how so?
The trick with drunk-fights is that it is easy for the guy to just forget about it, like it never happened...since people often do forget that thi... (read in full...)
Confused about email from ex-girlfriend and if we have a chance to reunite
Q. Hey. I have been dating a girl for 2 years in a long distance relationship (lives an hour away) and she recently told me she needed a break. I am in the medical profession and for the last 5 months I have been working in a new job and studying at ...
A. 25 September 2010: How is she stringing you along when you were the one who sent her flowers? She knows what she wants, it is you who is confused my friend. I encourage you to find some way to clear your head then gather your thoughts and analyse this situation from ... (read in full...)
Should I dump my boyfriend for this guy?
Q. well i have this boyfriend and we just started going out.. and he is a good looking guy.. but at my job i have this fine ass dude that works there and he wanna take me out to lunch but i know how i am i would do something that might hurt my ...
A. 22 September 2010: Why ruin a good thing? ... (read in full...)
Confused about email from ex-girlfriend and if we have a chance to reunite
Q. Hey. I have been dating a girl for 2 years in a long distance relationship (lives an hour away) and she recently told me she needed a break. I am in the medical profession and for the last 5 months I have been working in a new job and studying at ...
A. 22 September 2010: Stop thinking too much into the response, just give YOURSELF some space and her as well. Respond if u must just don't throw a bag of emotions into it, keep it simple. ... (read in full...)
Confused about email from ex-girlfriend and if we have a chance to reunite
Q. Hey. I have been dating a girl for 2 years in a long distance relationship (lives an hour away) and she recently told me she needed a break. I am in the medical profession and for the last 5 months I have been working in a new job and studying at ...
A. 21 September 2010: It looks like you are thinking too much into the response but I am sure she knows how much you care. I think you should use this time to understand how she felt because I am not sure you understand why she needs the space.
Your relation... (read in full...)
My ex wants us to be friends yet barely talks to me!
Q. My ex girlfriend and I broke up about a week ago and wants to be good friends even after our breakup. Yet she rarely talks to me anymore. It was a long distance relationship that put a huge strain on our relationship. Do I need to give her some ...
A. 19 September 2010: You should try to give yourself some space, not only her. I know you don't want to lose her but you have to accept that this is a possibility that comes with breaking up. ... (read in full...)
I have officially lost faith in successful relationships.
Q. I have officially lost faith in successful relationships. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 months (not long at all). My best friend and his best friend actually introduced my boyfriend and I to each other about five years ago. I was ...
A. 17 September 2010: Be a friend and just be there for her..I don't think there is much anyone can say about that but try to put your own feelings aside and just be there for her. I'm sure she rly rly needs you. ... (read in full...)
He suggested we live together, now he's pulling a 180!!! What's going on?
Q. So Ive been with my bf for 1 year. Ive just finished school and got a job but am living with my parents for a bit to save up some $$. I want to get an apartment in about 4-5months. I was telling my bf this (we live 1hr. apart) and he was like ...
A. 17 September 2010: When "he was like "gee if I didn't...", etc I think it was something he said on whim, without that much thought. At least that's what it sounds like.
Clearly you have given this a lot of thought and I don't know if he has done the same. Either h... (read in full...)
I can't decide between 2 guys
Q. I can't decide between 2 guys. The first guy i dated for about 3 months then he left me for another girl who was pregnant with someone else's baby. Then he broke up with her and came back to me where he continued to sleep with her behind my ba...
A. 17 September 2010: Well definitely NOT guy one.
Guy two seems like there's a shot even though there are some path issues to work out...which I would suppose is normal for many people..because sometimes it may not be religion that is the issue, it could be jobs/car... (read in full...)
Is this girl worth pursuing or is it a dead cause?
Q. Hi there! There was/is this really kool girl who quite evidently was very into me, despite her being 3 years older than me (im 20). Anyway as we work on a project together once every week or so (yes its a working relationship) and althought we wou...
A. 17 September 2010: It's worth pursuing. If you get a second chance be yourself like you always have been. Just enjoy being with her and make conversation. Try not to question her motives, or flaws...since she has already agreed to seeing you. ... (read in full...)
My sister in law doesn't mind being naked with me!
Q. My sister-in-law (single and attractive) graduated college and recently took a job near where my wife and I live. My wife told her to stay with us in the spare bedroom until she found a place of her own. Initially, she wore a robe over her ni...
A. 13 September 2010: Nope, its not normal but you may as well enjoy the show. Don't "do" anything stupid though. ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about my ex's insecure girlfriend?
Q. I have remained friends with my ex who sees our girls every second weekend. He has begun dating someone who is very insecure. He says she's just insecure about me (although I have remarried and have another child, and as I said, he and I ended on ...
A. 13 September 2010: You can be concerned but it doesn't sound like much you can do other than trying to talk to your ex about this. If that is who she is then I hope he understands what he is doing. It's his choice to be with who ever he wants, as crazy as they may be. ... (read in full...)
I was going to propose, but not if her "friend" is gonna keep this up
Q. My girlfriend of one year has a guy best friend. They've been friends for years but ever since she and I started the flirting phase (about a week before we got together), he's been a real d-bag to me. Of course, I know he wants her himself but she's ...
A. 13 September 2010: Dump her and find a girl who doesn't have a jealous guy friend. It doesn't seem like a situation you can handle. Many would also say that you don't have the right to break up best friends just because you are jealous yourself.
He's importan... (read in full...)
How to Have No-Contact when I run into her often?
Q. Here's a link to my situation if you need background... http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-girlfriend-just-left-me-and-i-want.html It's been a little over 2 weeks since we broke up. Last Wed night, she came by we proceeded to talk about ...
A. 13 September 2010: Part of breaking up is giving yourself space and saying no to temptation. It's only been two weeks and you just have to understand that not much time has passed. You just need more time.
Until you can actually just be her friend I would reco... (read in full...)
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