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My boyfriend hides couples photos of us on facebook but the ones with his ex girlfriend are there for all to see!

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 June 2014) 8 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *uubly100 writes:

Hi there, nothing major. just a quick question.

My boyfriend keeps hiding photos of us together from his facebook timeline thing.

This is going to sound very petty, but I'm just a bit worried that he's embarrassed about me or something?!

I'm 21, and We've been together for only 7 months but we're at University together so there have been a lot of couply photos of us together as we went on holiday with some of our friends.

in all fairness-he has hidden all the other photos taken on that holiday, but it just seems that any album where we are pictured together he has hidden from view.

I don't mean to sound like a crazy controlling girlfriend. But I just thought it was a bit odd :p

Should I ask him lightly about it? or is that really petty and controlling? I don't want to upset him by accusing him of hiding them, because I'm sure that's not the case. And I also don't want to sound childish asking him to have photos of us together on facebook.

He has a lot of photos with him and his ex girlfriend on facebook, so I just thought it was strange he doesn't like having any of us!

Silly question but any advise would be great :) xx

View related questions: ex girlfriend, facebook, his ex, on holiday, university

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A female reader, buubly100 United Kingdom +, writes (29 June 2014):

buubly100 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone, you were all very helpful!

I gave him a light hearted call, and did ask whether he was embarrassed about me at all as a girlfriend but in a chatty way.

He said he had put the timeline review of photos of us up because of his new job that he was going for. He also said he didn't mean it to look like he'd just accepted old ones of him and his ex but that was before he applied for the job apparently.

I do trust him with that so that's good.

Thank you for pushing me to ask, would have made it worse in my head otherwise!

He also said he's going to upload a few up of us to facebook tonight haha!

I just didn't want to sound like the horrible controlling girlfriend...

Thanks for your support guys!

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (29 June 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony aunt"nothing major..." MY ASS!!!! You have a "boyfriend" who put, and keeps, YOU in the shadows!!!!!

Stop trying to fool yourself... and confront the a-hole... with: "Hunchy-bunchy, I see that you don't have any pics of you and me, together, on your F/B page.... but you DO have pics of you and your ex-. Care to 'splain???? And, be careful.... because you are NEVER (ever, again) going to see what's in my panties if you don't give me the "correct" answer...."

That should do it....

Good luck...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI'd just straight up ask.

You can guess the reason til the cows come home and still not know the truth.


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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2014):

Don't try to come-up with your own answers. When people do something you don't understand, or you need to know the reason. Ask!

You're only being petty if you ask while upset. It's how you ask that makes it petty. If you are accusatory or full of drama, that makes it petty; because you are assuming the worst before you know the facts. You have every right to know why, because it doesn't seem to make any sense to you.

It's a good idea to always keep communication open between you and your boyfriend. That means talking things out like two young adults. Not a lot of arguing, whining, and complaining. Things that make you feel concerned should always be brought to his attention. If you think it's too petty, analyze it logically and dismiss it. If you feel it's important to know, you should be open and candid about your feelings.

I would go further to say that you should suggest (in a gentle, not bossy way) that he show more pictures of you and he together, and less of her.

He may still have residual feelings about her, and he should be working to get past those feelings. If you and your boyfriend committed shortly after his breakup with his ex, this is pretty symptomatic that he started a new relationship a little too soon afterward. He may have required more healing time. Letting go and healing happens faster when you keep less reminders around. Getting rid of pictures, keep-sakes, gifts, and things that keep you reminiscing about the old relationship. Out of sight, out of mind. You can mention this point to him.

Remind him that you are now his girlfriend, and it would make you feel happy to know he is proud of the fact. That would be one way to show it. Then back off this subject, and don't turn it into an argument or a battle of wills. Give him a hug and a kiss after you talk, to show there are no hard feelings.

The next question is, what if he doesn't stop hiding your pictures as a couple, and he hangs onto hers?

That is when you ask him straight out if he is over her, and if not; you cannot remain his girlfriend. He will probably be very defensive if you're too direct. Keep tempers out of it. People need time getting over past relationships; and it doesn't mean he doesn't care for you.

You want to keep insecurity at a minimum, because it is toxic to relationships. Patience and trust are very important. Remind yourself always of how well he treats you otherwise, don't judge him by only this.

Then it is up to you to decide if maybe you both will make it as a couple; because he may not be over her completely.

You must do what is right for you, not wait around for him while he's dealing with his feelings about her. Meanwhile; you're hurting inside. It has only been seven months. Your relationship is very new. Iron out your problems with mutual respect, be compromising, mature, and willing to listen.

My guess is that the pictures of her will go-away; because he wasn't aware they were bothering you.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (29 June 2014):

Aunty BimBim agony auntAsk him straight out, how come you have photos of you and your ex girlfriend in full view on facebook and yet you hide any photographs of us together ... why is that?

And make sure he gives you a proper answer!

There could be a very simple explanation, but until you ask you wont know, and its best to do it sooner or later rather than let things fester.

Good luck!

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A female reader, delightful84 United Kingdom +, writes (29 June 2014):

He showed off his ex and you are kept like a dirty little secret? Until I hear otherwise, I have a sneaky suspicion that he is hiding you, and maybe even from his ex.

It is not petty or controlling. You are supposed to be a couple and you need answers.

You go girl.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2014):

Are you certain that he isn't hiding you from his ex because he wants her back? Just a thought.

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A male reader, bronzed adonis United Kingdom +, writes (29 June 2014):

bronzed adonis agony auntNo you are not being petty. It is a genuine concern if it is only pictures of you that he is hiding.

It does not necessarily mean he`s embarrassed about you, as it could be any reason. That is what you really do need to find out.

Don`t leave it too long before asking him, because your mind will work overtime, and then you may become confrontational.

Good luck, and I do hope there is a reasonable explanation to it.

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