| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi Cupids,Why is it that men split with women and don't really give them a reason why? I am 25. It doesn't happen to me often but it has done recently. I really liked a guy and he tried to avoid me for nearly a month then we did meet up he said it was not working out for him. He had told me a month before he started being distant, how much he liked me and that he wanted to introduce me to his family, then within a week it had all changed. I met up with him, only for him to stay for about an hour, then go off to meet his friends after finishing it. It was dark, late and he did not even walk me to my car!! He had changed totally and was like a different person. I was so disappointed. The only reason he gave was that things were good but not great!Thanks. x Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): Look up it as a lucky escape. Go out there and meet someone who you so rightly deserve. Both men and women do these things. They change their minds or they meet someone else or they just go off us. Who cares, we can't change the way people think or act. You will meet someone else.
Take care
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): It isn't that men do it - people do it - men and women.
The thing is, if someone dumps you harshly at least you know they weren't the person you thought they were. This is extra hard in the short term because it makes you feel worthless and exposed for having fallen for them. Your ex who did things like completely changing, at the moment makes you feel hurt, but when you have had a bit of time you'll feel different feelings and probably end up feeling glad that things worked out the way they did.
Have some strength knowing that he was just not the right kind of guy for you and in the next one watch out for signs that he is treating you differently. If after you have talked to him, you don't see any improvement, then maybe it would be better to end things before they end things first. In your question if you are talking about you two sleeping together and him immediately leaving you for his friend, that is a definate sign, in my opinion, that he is probably does not feel towards you the way you want him to and it is not something that can really be fixed.
Just don't put this down to men, just some men. If you would never do this to a man, then there is a man who would not do it to you. All the best
...............................
A
female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (20 December 2006):
 I think men do this because they are scared of commitment. He may have sincerely liked you but then realised to himself that he was rushing into things. Maybe he just needs time to sort his head out and figure out what it is he really wants.
Try and get him to sit down and talk if you can, tell him you like him and that you understand that he may not be ready for anything serious. Then tell him that you will give him some space to think about things, but remind him that you wont wait forever.
Give him time and if he still doesnt want too know then it obviously wasnt meant to be. Then you will know for definatee and you can move on with your life and find someone that does want to commit to you
...............................
A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (20 December 2006):
 This is a cowards way out of a relationship. Cowards have problems with resolving conflicts and being truthful. Just be thankful you got any type of resolution from him, but don't put too much weight in his words.
Cowards often say all sorts of dishonest things when they feel they're trapped in a corner.
...............................
A
female
reader, Nikita +, writes (20 December 2006):
 hi anon, well guys are a mystery thats for sure. They give out mixed signals a lot of the time so how are we supposed to know where we stand! I think that the reason men dont give much of an answer as to why they want to end it is becasue they find it hard to talk about emotional issues. Im not saying all men are like this but when it comes to affairs of the heart, a lot of men hide away from it, especially when they feel that they dont want to be in a relationship anymore. they dont like the hassle of going into detail of the reason why. A friend of mine was dumped by her boyfriend by text, a sneaky and cowardly way out because he didnt have to face her emotions. I think this guy that split up with you is obviously a bit fickle and swings from hot to cold. It could have been any reason, from wanting his freedom again to realising that maybe you werent so compatible after all. Its hard but by the sounds of it your're better off without him. try and put him to the back of your mind and move on. You'll meet someone else eventually who will have the decency not to avoid you if he's changed his mind. good luck and i hope you have a good xmas.
...............................
A
male
reader, goodbutnotgifted +, writes (20 December 2006):
 Sorry to hear your going through this, its not just men these days though. sounds like he found some one else. Sorry. Being a guy I hear a lot of the other guys talking about the new girl and they dont let the other off right, like in your case, It's hurtfull, and I'm sorry you have to suffer this. He used you, the good but not great is blowing you off. I wish I could give you a hug and help you through it, been down this road before, but try your ritual for healing and move on, trying to regain the rel is going to be more hurt than its worth, besides he was probably pretending when he was with you. that would explain his distance he is tired of pretending, you could ask him, if he is that important, but plan for both success and failure, if you suceed have a plan a date lined out, but right now or never demand his time, I read that love making should last three hours, cuddling before and after and talking closely, the bad guys dont put the time in, they want to get in get on get out. for the failure plan, a night out with the girls and take one of them with you, if you suceed you can double date or if you fail, you will have someone you trust there to see you trhough it. Women are not realy respected these days but that could change if you demand to be respected yourself, and this guy doesnt respect you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): Well, sounds like you hadn't known each other that long and have not commited yourselves to each other in any way, so he may feel he does not need to give a reason. Perhaps he genuinely didn't like you as much as he made out. Sounds like he led you on a bit...did you sleep with him at all? If you jumped into bed quite soon after knowing him this may have turned him off a bit and may think you do that to everyone you meet. If not then sounds like he doesn't know what he wants..so best to stay away...maybe he has just got out of a relationship himself? or was flattered that someone showed an interest, and as soon as you showed how you really felt...has backed off as doesn't want to be in a relationship?
...............................
|
