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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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Should your boyfriend be able to hang out with girls alone?
Q. Should your boyfriend be able to hang out with his friends that are girls by there self,is it a big deal,an should I be worrying. I want replys from both male an female points of view thank you! ...
A. 26 August 2010: Do you trust him to be around girls alone? If you do, then there's no problem but right now, you don't. If they're just friends, there's no problem. I'm sure you have friends that are guys right? Does that mean you'll forget everything and jump them ... (read in full...)
Broken heart
Q. How does one survive a broken heart?! I'm just dying inside. Everyday I wake up crying, go to bed crying and just break down in tears at the drop of a hat. My heart hurts so bad! My 9 year marriage to my best friend and soul mate is ending. ...
A. 26 August 2010: There's always time for love. Is there no way to fix your marriage? Talking, counseling, change of lifestyle? Anything?
You say you both still love each other deeply, I know it probably feels like a nail being torn from it's finger, the pain of ... (read in full...)
Advice on how to convince my boyfriend to have sex!
Q. I would like to say hi. I am 13 years old I will be 14 in a few weeks. I am starting high school in about 2 weeks. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 8 months. He bought condoms and he said just in case because you never know. Then ...
A. 26 August 2010: You already know that you two are too young for sex. You've barely started adolescence. You think you are ready for sex and the consequences that follow? How was your boyfriend able to obtain condoms at his age anyway? (I'm assuming he's the same ... (read in full...)
My heart is telling me he didn't cheat, but my mind is telling me I may be stupid to believe he didn't
Q. I need help. My boyfriend and I are in a very serious relationship (We are planning to get engaged soon, he has a ring and everything). And last night when I was leaving his place, I was confronted by an older woman who stated that he has been ...
A. 26 August 2010: It sounds like your boyfriend is telling you the truth. You have to be cautious though, there are people who make up lies or even worse, force themselves into some sort of a delusion, she may in fact think she slept with your boyfriend (That's a ... (read in full...)
Is this RAPE??
Q. im not sure if this is rape... i was messing around with a guy and he started touching me...i didnt care about that but then he started putting it in and i was trying to push him off me at the hips but he was too strong.. i kept asking him to get ...
A. 26 August 2010: You said no and he continued to force you into it. Yes, you can and you definitely SHOULD press charges!
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I don't think I will ever get over her!
Q. To cut a rather long and tragic tale short, there is a girl who I haved loved for as long as I have known her (about 3 yrs). She is the only girl I have ever loved and I can't stop thinking about her. But I know I can never be with her - it is ...
A. 26 August 2010: You won't take it to the grave, even if you try. If you are determined to get over her, you will. Just remember that nothing is going to happen between you two so forget about it. When you talk to her, don't flirt, don't think there's a chance she ... (read in full...)
I want to lose weight to get back with my ex!
Q. what are the best ways to make yourself vomit and how fast does it make you skinnier? because i want to get back with my ex and im just way to fat. so i need help and i think vomitting is the fastest way. ...
A. 26 August 2010: Don't EVER think that is an option for getting thinner. It'll leave your teeth looking disgusting because what is in vomit except for your bile? What is bile but acid! It'll leave you with a sore throat and stained teeth and bad breath.
Many ... (read in full...)
I need to know, does he still love me?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for so long, we met over the internet at the beggining of 2008 and we met face to face on 14th august 2009. we have been through so much. we have so many memories. we go different places, especially because he ...
A. 26 August 2010: Nothing is going to get fixed if you don't tell him how you feel. If he hurt you, he shouldn't be leaving you, he should be trying to fix it, trying to make it up to you.
In my honest opinion, I think you aren't ready for a relationship with an ... (read in full...)
He made so many promises then he left me! How do I get him back?
Q. i have been dating a guy for 2 months thats going through a divorce, everything went great he told me that he sees a long and happy life with me.three weeks ago we went to durban so i can meet his brother, we got back on the sunday and the friday he ...
A. 26 August 2010: I'm sorry, it sounds like you can't get him back but you NEED to ask him what it is he really wants. Does he want to be with you or not. This isn't fair to you and you have a right to know whether or not he actually feels anything for you.
It do... (read in full...)
I really like this guy but my brother is going to flip when he finds out!
Q. I have an older half brother. Our relationship is kinda love/hate. One minute we get along, the next I want to push him in front of a moving bus. Anyway, his friends are always trying to get with me. But I never bite. But this summer a new friend ...
A. 26 August 2010: You two are free to love, personally, I don't see a problem, your half-brother doesn't own you or his friend. Does it matter what your brother does when/if he finds out? He needs to learn to accept it, what's he going to do? Demand that you two ... (read in full...)
How can I feel better about myself?
Q. ok i'm just about the most self contious person in the world and i hate it! i try to talk to people but i never feel better. my boyfriend is AMAZING and so suportive but i just feel like i'm not good enough. before we started dating, i was with a ...
A. 26 August 2010: Does your boyfriend tell you that you're pretty? But then, does it matter? What would looking like other girls accomplish? You need to be different, I'm pretty sure that's what your boyfriend likes otherwise he'd have gone for one of those girls who ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didnt stand up for me and told me it was my fault!
Q. I don't know if I should be upset with my boyfriend. He was texting a girl we both know so I thought I would text her to say sorry for being upset with her before and she told me that I had problems and that my boyfriend didnt love me because I was ...
A. 26 August 2010: What did he say when you talked to him? As your boyfriend, it's his duty to defend you against anything that might harm you, physically or emotionally.
You have all the right in the world to be angered by this. What are his reasons for blaming ... (read in full...)
Better to have loved and lost?
Q. Three years ago I fell totally completely in love with this boy. We dated for about 8 months but broke it off because there was a 30 minute distance between us. He dated another girl for about 2 years who broke his heart. but all through these past ...
A. 26 August 2010: I don't get why you broke up because of a 30 minute distance. That's not that far away. You two are obviously meant to be together. Just ask your guy (not the boyfriend) how he feels, is this what he wants? I mean, you seem really happy when you ... (read in full...)
Happy days... :)
Q. Hey guys! I haven't been on DearCupid in MONTHS, and I'm happy to say that, upon returning, I can still see some really great advice being given and received EVERYWHERE! You haven't changed a bit :) Except... I was just browsing through the ar...
A. 26 August 2010: Good to see one happy tale being told. It is a tragedy that most of the stories here are grim but I've looked and read a lot of questions, some of them have happy endings! Very happy endings but isn't that why people frequent this site anyway? To ... (read in full...)
I am obsessed with a guy I briefly dated a year ago...how do I stop this???
Q. I am obsessed with this guy I briefly dated and it's tearing me apart mentally!!! I want it to stop. A year ago I met him online and I totally fell for him. He's in the military and soon after we met he had to leave on deployment. He was away for ...
A. 26 August 2010: If there's a way for you to talk to him, I think it'd be best if you do. Just tell him that it's been hurting you, if he's a caring guy, he should tell you because he shouldn't want to let you suffer with this.
You have another option. You can ... (read in full...)
Online date doesn't look at all like her photos. I'm not attracted, even a little repulsed by her appearance!
Q. I met this woman online, very quickly the relationship escalated emotionaly, we exchanged many pictures and shared with eachother about our feelings, hopes and fears on a very deep level. We decided to meet, so i went down to where she lives ...
A. 26 August 2010: What repulses you about her? You say she looks like she just let herself go? Have you talked to her about it, tell her you're quite worried about the fact that she doesn't look as healthy. (I'm assuming it's that kind of physical decline).
I hop... (read in full...)
Do Gorgeous Women only date Equally Gorgeous men?
Q. Question... Whats the secret to getting a really beautiful woman? You know the type you run into every now and again that make your heart stop and fill your veins with ice water? Is there a secret method for attracting these higher echelon b...
A. 26 August 2010: I couldn't help laughing when you mentioned a 'scientific study' on attraction. Neither math nor science can ever truly predict what type of person someone will be attracted to based on appearance.
It's no secret, you have to be confident in yours... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is mad at me because we can't have sex!
Q. He and I have been together for almost 3 years. This is not the first time this happens. I can't go to his house and he can't come to mine. We have to pay for hotel rooms to be alone together. I am a college student so I am not working right now. He ...
A. 26 August 2010: This is not the man for you. Sex is not something anyone should get angry about, especially like this. You don't want to have sex with him and think about all the suffering he's put you through for that moment. You've already done more than enough ... (read in full...)
Help, should I call the cops? I think I'm being stalked.
Q. Okay so one day these boys Rode past my house while I was practicing dance with my little sister in my yard They rode up to us and where like I can do that dance, And i was like, Show me! (I'm friendly, And Ballet is my LIFE) So then they ca...
A. 26 August 2010: I was really worried about what might happen. It must be frightening for you. I did a little searching and found these tips that might help you with these guys should things get worse.
http:... (read in full...)
Help, should I call the cops? I think I'm being stalked.
Q. Okay so one day these boys Rode past my house while I was practicing dance with my little sister in my yard They rode up to us and where like I can do that dance, And i was like, Show me! (I'm friendly, And Ballet is my LIFE) So then they ca...
A. 26 August 2010: Tell your family immediately! You can't call the cops because they cops will see it as if they hadn't really done anything but from the way you described them I can tell that they might prove trouble. Try and spend less time dancing on your front ... (read in full...)
When he's not willing to talk about whatever is bugging him and just sits there being cranky, what should I do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for some time now and we love each other very much. Our relationship is great! We don't fight, and we make each other happy :) First some background information: My boyfriend's personality is hard ...
A. 26 August 2010: I know when something large is bothering me, I tend to isolate myself and deal with it mentally, I don't know if that's what your boyfriend is doing but I can tell you that what you've been doing is already good enough. Just be there when he needs ... (read in full...)
I want this baby, But I am in love with another woman!
Q. My wife of three years, and I, have been having a rocky marriage. We were trying to have a baby, but it wasn't working due to the stress and arguing. I have a dear friend of 10 years, whom I've never dated, that I know I am in love with. We'v...
A. 26 August 2010: You definitely have to tell your wife. You said you're marriage was rocky, do you know why that is? Are you confident that fixing it is impossible? Is there no love at all for you wife right now? A baby is no reason to stay in a relationship with no ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant,how do I tell my mom
Q. Im 14 I went to a party had some drinks Hung out with a guy friend and he offered to walk me home. I remember walking out on the his lawn, Then Waking up in my house ....... I Am Pregnant I havent told anyone The guy lives out of the country ...
A. 26 August 2010: First off, are you absolutely sure that you're pregnant? If you are, you need to sit your mother down and tell her. She'll know, as a mother, what's best for you right now. It doesn't matter whether or you and the father like each other, now is NOT ... (read in full...)
Once a Mummys' Boy, Always a Mummys' Boy?
Q. Hey, I've been with my boyfriend almost 2 years, we're both serious about each other, and we've talked about having a serious future together. However, in a recent argument he text me saying "well guess what my mother is far more important than ...
A. 26 August 2010: Okay, he's not a momma's boy just because he says his mother is the most important. It's mothers first and then Girlfriend/wife. I don't think it was right for him to use his mother to anger you though, that's disrespectful.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I get turned on by girls breasts in porn does this make me bi?
Q. I was just wonderng, could i be bisexual? I have never had a relationship with a girl, but never a long one with a guy either, and feel most of the time more attracted to guys than girls. But when i watch porn i get really turned on by both the guy ...
A. 26 August 2010: The female form is a beautiful thing, it's not surprising that even other females are attracted to it. Don't worry, I'm sure there are a lot more people who've been through a moment or two where they've been attracted to the same sex. I for one had ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a gay man!
Q. I am not exactly sure how to ask this question. I have become extrememly close to a co worker of mine. We just instantly clicked from the beginning. I absolutely love him. He is gay, but I was wondering is there certain degrees of being gay. I ...
A. 26 August 2010: You both have relationships. You have a husband and he has a partner. Don't do anything until you're sure of what would happen.
He's gay which means he probably won't see you in a romantic kind of way, don't give yourself false hope. Yes it is po... (read in full...)
LDR: what's the point?
Q. I would like to know something, as it's always seemed highly absurd to me, and nonsense, what is the point of being in a Long distance relationship??? I mean, you cant touch the person, right? which means you cant hold them, kiss them, fuck them, ...
A. 25 August 2010: I was reading back on what you said about "stumbling into a beautiful woman" by the way and that kind of thing can still happen WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED! What difference does it make how far away your girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse is?... (read in full...)
Will it ruin things if I tell my ex that I still love him?
Q. How do I tell my Ex who is my 2 month old son's father that I still love him? Or should I even tell him at all? When I was pregnant he was not supportaive at all but now he is very happy with our son and things are very civilized between us. I'm ...
A. 25 August 2010: You should only tell him if you're sure things won't revert back to when he was unsupported. Don't surrender love to someone you can't trust. He wasn't there when you needed him the most, if you tell him, are you sure of whatever happens next? Are ... (read in full...)
Being in love with her has been torture.
Q. I have been in love with this girl for three years now. She is beautiful, charming, witty... I fell in love at first sight - when we met I felt as if I'd known her all my life, and I truly love her with all my heart. The thing is, I just can't wo...
A. 25 August 2010: You can tell her, but do it in a way that you know you can control (e.g. with a smile) so as to not make things awkward should she not reciprocate those feelings you have for her. Be casual, be friendly and listen to what she says.
I hope that hel... (read in full...)
I trusted him and he cheated on me
Q. well my boyfriend and i have now been going out for two months and the other night i trusted him to go to a party while i was at a dance class, he tells me two days later that he cheated on me and now i don't know what to do, so i guess my question ...
A. 25 August 2010: Break up with him. You gave him your trust and he abused it, he betrayed you. This all happened only after two months! This would never work. You need someone you CAN trust.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
LDR: what's the point?
Q. I would like to know something, as it's always seemed highly absurd to me, and nonsense, what is the point of being in a Long distance relationship??? I mean, you cant touch the person, right? which means you cant hold them, kiss them, fuck them, ...
A. 25 August 2010: Sex is a primal desire for something physical. I was assuming you'd actually met the person and she had to move away or something. No I'm against meeting people and actually STARTING the relationship as a LDR. You don't NEED sex. You WANT sex, ... (read in full...)
It bothers me he was attracted to his last girlfriend. Am I over reacting?
Q. Im in a relationship with a guy who claims to have been in love with me since school. Im 25 yrs old now, and we started dating a year back. I wasn't in touch with him all these yrs, and although I knew he existed, we never spoke or anything. Just a...
A. 25 August 2010: Attraction, sexual attraction is such a small part of a relationship. Small but powerful. You are right to be cautious should she ever return to his life but don't demand that he leave her alone and she leave him alone if they aren't really doing ... (read in full...)
Am I asking for too much from my mum?
Q. Hi, Im 23 Married and I have 2 kids. I dont drive and my husband works all sorts of shifts hes very helpful with our kids, ive currently got my learners permit and recently got myself a car. But today the weather is horrible, its raining with ver...
A. 25 August 2010: No. It sounds like your mother wasn't exactly the 'motherly' type was she? You have nothing to feel bad about, your mother on the other hand, has some questions to answer. If she wants to be a big part of the kids lives then why does she complain? ... (read in full...)
What could these strange dreams mean?
Q. Hi. I'm a bit confused.. I dont normal dream nor remember then, but for the last 3 days I have been having strange dreams.. The first night I dreamt my work place, people and building where located in a space ship.. We landed at this place where one ...
A. 25 August 2010: It means coincidences happen and so do dreams. Dreams don't have to mean anything, it could just mean that maybe your subconscious picked up on something that you didn't really take notice of, it could just be a strange fantasy of some sort. Dreams ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks she doesn't deserve me, when its supposed to be vice-versa
Q. (I'm sorry this is a really long story, please just bear with me; I felt like I was writing an essay) First time using an advice column, please help. Still young, starting junior year (yeah a lot of school stress) Well...beginning...
A. 25 August 2010: You've been given an amazing chance with an obviously amazing girl. Don't mess up again! Love isn't about who deserves another person. It's about what you both want, are you both happy around each other? If you are, NEVER let that go. Make her ... (read in full...)
I had a dream of my boyfriend getting married to another woman. Should I read into it?
Q. I don't usually read into dreams, I've had a lot of nice dreams, but also unpleasant ones, like any other person. Thing is, last night I dreamed that my boyfriend was getting married, IN MY HOUSE, with another woman (she was brunette, but then she...
A. 25 August 2010: Dreams aren't always what they seem. Dreaming about him getting married to another woman doesn't mean that your subconscious thinks he will cheat on you.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I had an affair with my sister in law's husband. Why won't she forgive me?
Q. Dear Cupid, My Sister in Law and I used to be best friends. I knew about her maritual problems (she had an affair, she talked about divorcing him many times), and she knew mine (my husband always was away 'with other girls hunting', while ov...
A. 25 August 2010: You've felt the same agonizing emotions you put your sister-in-law through. She too would have felt rejected, she would have felt disrespected by both you, her former best friend and her own husband, she would have never been able to trust anyone ... (read in full...)
LDR: what's the point?
Q. I would like to know something, as it's always seemed highly absurd to me, and nonsense, what is the point of being in a Long distance relationship??? I mean, you cant touch the person, right? which means you cant hold them, kiss them, fuck them, ...
A. 25 August 2010: The point is to love them. If the physical intimacy is all you're interested in then you don't deserve a relationship at all. The point is that you've found someone you love because they make you happy without having to ever touch you, and you don't ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting? or should I be worried?
Q. My girlfriend has pictures of herself with another guy on facebook and its really pissin me off! There are about five pics of them and they all seem really flirty to me. He has his arm around her in most of them. They talk on the phone and skype ...
A. 25 August 2010: There are always going to be other guys in her life, you can't stop that. That doesn't mean you have to worry about her cheating on you or ditching you for some other guy. I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
After my husband cheated and I moved out I slept with another man, it feels so good to get revenge for what my husband did to me! Was I wrong to do this?
Q. After i realised that its not working out, we both agreed that i should move out and get a place of my own, i moved out and i was still angry at him for cheating and all the bad treatment i got from my mother in law.i have been staying alone for ...
A. 25 August 2010: This was no mistake. I don't think you were right in doing it. You are now no better than he is or was. If this is your way of easing your pain then so be it. Just remember that revenge is never a good thing. How do you feel now that you've just ... (read in full...)
Jealous of my boyfriends sister and ashamed of it!
Q. My boyfriend's sister is years younger than him and they have a very close-knit relationship. I feel pathetic because I'm jealous of their relationship and how much time they get to spend together, whereas I'm lucky to see him once a week. It'...
A. 25 August 2010: Talk to him about it. But if you want my honest opinion, I don't think you should be with him. What kind of a boyfriend doesn't defend his girlfriend when people are badmouthing her?
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
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