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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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Am I addicted to him or is it me who is wrong?
Q. Sorry, but this is a long rant because I am exasperated by my relationship. To put it into context, I was brought up in an abusive family situation which involved, along with many other negatives, my mother being extremely emotionally neglectful ...
A. 9 January 2011: Not for one second you should you spare any such sympathy. If he does this to you simply because he cannot be more dominant, that is immaturity and we should not look upon immaturity with sympathy. You have all the right in the world to be ... (read in full...)
No reply to a love note?
Q. What do you do when you send someone a message saying you are inlove with them. And they don't even reply? And its not some random person. It's the father of your child?...
A. 8 January 2011: He might be unsure of what to say. When you send something sincere and deep, expect to wait a while before the person in question replies. A week or so. Then you know it is sincere. If you feel it has been too long, you could always talk to him ... (read in full...)
My BF and I are in our 40s', but is it ok for us to spend the night together, at the risk of setting a bad example to our kids?
Q. my boyfriend and I met 8 months ago and we are in our 40's. the problem is he has 2 daughters 20,22 and I have one son 7 years old. We don't live near eachother so we don't get much time alone. When we are together we can't be alone in our rooms ...
A. 8 January 2011: It certainly would not be a bad example if you spent one night together. There is no risk here. His daughters can take care of your son can they not? For at least one night. It is healthy for your relationship.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to talk and text to my 1st love? I am married
Q. I am talking to my first love right now. He hours away. We talk for hours and text quite frequently...is this considered cheating in anyones eyes. I am married to a man who barely speaks to me and rarely touches me. This is filling a huge void ...
A. 8 January 2011: You have doubts, I know that because you wrote this questino. That means you know something is wrong with what you have been doing and whilst it is innocent for the most part, you might be getting too attached to this. It is emotional infidelity. ... (read in full...)
I've just given up caring that boyfriend doesn't treat me right
Q. My bf hasnt always treated me right. And as a result I became very insecure for 2 whole years. But suddenly I woke up and I felt I didn't care. Not about him, I still love him. But I feel like I've just given up caring. I don't know what's changed ...
A. 8 January 2011: Leave him immediately. This is not love anymore. Your mind has merely grown accustomed to this attachment and the abuse he seems to be forcing down your throat. When you leave him, you will find that you do not really love him anymore and you will ... (read in full...)
Can this relationship be saved or are the problems just too much?
Q. I'm 22, I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have a twoa-year-old son. My boyfriend is a wonderful daddy..I seriously think he's the best dad in the world! Everything is 50/50 with us and we work as a team. He also adores me and I know he ...
A. 8 January 2011: The 'issue' about the difference in race, that is certainly something you can easily overcome. I think that if you can, you should talk to his mother about why she hates you, make sure it is purely because you are white and then tell her that for ... (read in full...)
Since we got engaged he is getting more and more mean, and refuses to seek help for his anger problems. Help!
Q. Hello, I've been dating my guy for two and a half years. We got engaged around our two year anniversary and have set a wedding date. Since the moment we have gotten engaged he has been progressively more mean. We have had fights before, he would...
A. 7 January 2011: You have nothing to be embarrassed about, do not be afraid to talk to someone. His behavior is shameful and a good reason to postpone the wedding if not end the whole relationship completely. He needs to change and you need to let him know that ... (read in full...)
My friends are trying to convince me the age gap is a problem
Q. I'm 20 and my current boyfriend is 33, we've been together for 10 months or so. We met via work (we play pro badminton) and I used to play mixed doubles for a little while before we got together, which is where we initially got to know each other. (...
A. 7 January 2011: They can say whatever they want to say, the age difference here is not a problem at all. You can be with whoever you wish to be with and do not let anyone try to convince you otherwise.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I can't love my boyfriend at the moment because I don't make enough money right now
Q. Yeah, about a month ago I became self employed, so I am going to struggle financially at first, and it will take me time to get very well known. I run my own tattoo parlor. I'm at the pivotal moment at struggling to meet all my overhead. I cannot ...
A. 7 January 2011: You are like most other people. It is true that this world cannot help but revolve around money so it is only natural that such things would lead to argument. You do not have to allow it to be this way. Your worth as a person is not measured by the ... (read in full...)
I am only really attracted to guys, but I know I want to get married and have children! What should I do?
Q. Hi, My problem is a bit convoluted, and I'm so conflicted over it that I just had to 'talk' to someone, but not anyone I knew. So I've known for some years now that I might like guys (I'm a guy) and the usual things that happen when one does...
A. 7 January 2011: You can still get married and have children. Surrogacy is one option, in fact, recently I read an article about Neil Patrick Harris (who is homosexual), he and his partner have children, their biological children. In this day and age, nothing is ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend of two years suddenly wants to break up
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating two years and now she wants a break up and doesnt want to be with me all of a sudden. i do not know what to do. i have been through so much. i do not know what i did. i think it might be because i am too jeal...
A. 7 January 2011: You have to move on from this. Whatever reasons she has for wanting to do this, you have to accept them. She could be irritated by your jealousy and you should be too because you are not able to trust her and a relationship simply cannot work ... (read in full...)
Are we still going to quarrel after we're married?
Q. Dear cupid Am into a two years relationship now,but just at the begining of this year we got into a missunderstanding dat almost leaded to a breakup.. I love this girl and i really plans for her to marry..but the main point is we quarrel almost e...
A. 7 January 2011: Before getting married, it is important that you deal with this issues now. Why do you two argue so much? Is there really no peaceful alternative? Get to the root of the problem and try to remove it.
I am afraid this lacks much detail so there is... (read in full...)
Would any men be weirded out that their girlfriend donated her eggs?
Q. I've been considering donating my eggs and have been "preliminarily accepted," meaning that I've filled out my application and sent pictures; and now they want to interview me face-to-face. While I've considered all aspects of it and now that I'm ...
A. 7 January 2011: It really isn't any of his business. I doubt it will affect your relationship and if he finds out, he has no reason to be distraught in any way, all you did was give something you didn't need away for those who do need it. It is the equivalent of ... (read in full...)
Should I let my 13 year old sister be with a 21 year old? She claims they are in love!
Q. Hey aunts, once again, my little 13 year sister ( who lives with me in my apartment with my boyfriend because of our parents divorce.. Long story) has given me trouble once again. It first started when my after school job hours changed, and I ...
A. 6 January 2011: In this instance, age matters a lot and you were right to throw him out. What he is doing is taking advantage of a hormonally chaotic little girl and her unstable emotions. She does not know what she feels now or how she is supposed to feel about ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend makes me cry every day
Q. My boyfriend When he gets mad he says mean things to hurt my feelings -your a bitch/whore/loser/pathetic Gets madder, and makes fun of me and acts like a complete jerk when I'm crying over him Wont listen to me when I tell him that I nee...
A. 6 January 2011: Then why are you still with him? You know what you have to do, you are currently just too afraid and for what? You know you do not deserve this sort of abuse. What he is doing, using your own feelings for him against you is nothing like love, this ... (read in full...)
Would it be stupid to leave one good man (who is my baby's daddy) for another man just because the romance was richer??
Q. I have been dating a man for about 8.5 years except for one break-up that lasted about 4-5 months at which time I met this other man and really liked him but when the first man wanted me back I went running, being still in love and all. Its been 5 ...
A. 6 January 2011: If it is the romance and the chivalry you are attracted to, why not try and bring that into your current relationship? If Charlie loves you, why not try and fight for this to the very end? I am sure if Charlie thinks anything of this family he will ... (read in full...)
Is there any hope for my sister? Her guy can be a monster to her.
Q. my sister dated a guy for a year, and a half she got pregnant after 6 months of dating. He during that 6 months broke up with her every month, because he always found something wrong with her. she never fought back just left his house when he gave ...
A. 6 January 2011: This is how an abusive relationship truly kills ones spirit. It forces all blame on to the victim instead of the true monster. Talk to your sister, get your parents to talk to her as well and ask her why she feels she needs to stay with him, ask her ... (read in full...)
How do I move up the social ladder when I'm at the way bottom?
Q. I need some serious help here. I'm 17 yrs old, a junior in high school and I have never been on a date or kissed in my entire life. I don't know anything about boys. Also, I'm a "social outcast". I don't have any let's hang out friends. I spend my ...
A. 6 January 2011: Why not try and be one of the 'let's hang out' friends? Why not reconnect with your old ones and actively meet new friends? In your clubs or in your other classes. Surely you must be able to strike up conversation with at least one of them? Be ... (read in full...)
What motivates a man to say "I love you"?
Q. Hey, sorry if this question sounds stupid. I'd like your advice on guy's motives for saying I love you. I've been with my bf 5 months, he's great-caring, kind, funny, sexy, intelligent, thoughtful. He told me last week that he loves me, and said ...
A. 6 January 2011: Saying "I love you" is not a game, at least not for me. Personally it is (and at the risk of sounding a little too cheesy) my own heart that motivates me to utter those words. If I love someone, I only desire for them to know how I feel about them, ... (read in full...)
I gave my all in this relationship and it still didnt work out.....I feel so lost and broken
Q. I’ve written about this boy before. We dated long distance for 2 years and 7 months, seeing each other tons. I was his first everything – at least everything we allowed ourselves to do. First kiss, first hand hold, first person he said “I love you” ...
A. 6 January 2011: You are unsure and this is why interaction is risky. It is far too easy to be pulled into a damnably beautiful delusion of hope which is why I urge you to proceed with caution.
That being said, I do not know what I would do. If I were him, as ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to repair what has been torn apart?
Q. My boyfriend and I had been together for nearly 6 and half years. We shared a home for about 5 of those years. Our relationship had always been a good one, but unfortunately, this past fall things started to fall apart. We started to fight more, I ...
A. 6 January 2011: You can begin by talking to him and telling him that you are sorry for your behavior long ago. Even if he does not feel the same way anymore, it is still best that the air between you is cleared of all poison so that you can still at least maintain ... (read in full...)
I gave my all in this relationship and it still didnt work out.....I feel so lost and broken
Q. I’ve written about this boy before. We dated long distance for 2 years and 7 months, seeing each other tons. I was his first everything – at least everything we allowed ourselves to do. First kiss, first hand hold, first person he said “I love you” ...
A. 6 January 2011: You can decide, from what everyone has written, should you text him or should you ignore him for now? Consider the effects of interacting with him again. You know yourself better than anyone so what do you predict would happen in terms of emotion. ... (read in full...)
I'm so terribly confused!
Q. Hello guys... So, to start off directly, I fell in love with my close friend ... and I'm quite sure that he has feelings for me, too. We've always been hugging a lot and stuff, but it became kind of different lately; for example, the two of us spent...
A. 6 January 2011: How close were you as friends? Close enough that he would have already determined your worries? Does he know you are a virgin and that you have never been kissed before? If he does, these worries are uncalled for, he should know what he is getting ... (read in full...)
She is having trouble connecting to me after the death of a parent, what can I do?
Q. First time post here, a bit nervous. You know how there are always two sides to a story, right? I am trying my best to keep this non-biased. I really need help. I met my wife when I was 17, she was 16. It is now 20 years later. We never...
A. 5 January 2011: well how long ago did her loved ones death? She could still be feeling a flurry of things right now. Perhaps you could try and actively reconnect with her. Go on dates again if/when you know she has fully dealt with the loss of her parent, it is a ... (read in full...)
I gave my all in this relationship and it still didnt work out.....I feel so lost and broken
Q. I’ve written about this boy before. We dated long distance for 2 years and 7 months, seeing each other tons. I was his first everything – at least everything we allowed ourselves to do. First kiss, first hand hold, first person he said “I love you” ...
A. 5 January 2011: You gave it your all and even though it may not feel like it, it was good enough, it was more than good enough but it takes two to support a relationship and no matter how much anyone gave to that relationship, without his effort it would have died ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him? Or move on?
Q. Wednesday the 15th I had a date set up with a guy. We were going to go for supper which was his idea. Then last night came and he said he was really tired cause he had to work a bunch of night shifts, which I understood and he said another time. ...
A. 4 January 2011: Just make things a lot simpler for yourself and move on. It seems as though he has problems of his own and you should probably talk to him again when he has had a chance to sort himself out. I am also a little bothered that he kept making it clear ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend 3 times :(
Q. I've been seeing this boy for about a month and a half and on new years eve he decided to ask me out over the phone because we couldn't be together, I was so happy because I've been messed around so much but he really is the most amazing boy who ...
A. 4 January 2011: You be honest so that if/when he does happen to hear it from another person, you would have already told him and he would know that you did not have any intention of actually cheating on him. Be honest in your relationship.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
All I want is the help I'm entitled to
Q. Here the deal, My husband and I have been separated for over a year we decided to make things work. So we have talked about moving in together. The point is nothing has change. he promised he has. he has job security issues. He gets really depressed ...
A. 4 January 2011: He sounds like he has no interest in making things work, in fact, it seems as though he is using you. Tell him that he has a choice, he can either grow up and start taking care of things or he can leave.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I am falling in love with my dead boyfriend's brother
Q. I think I may be falling in love with my deceased father of my children / boyfriend's brother. It's been 2 months now and we have this connection where we both can't stand going a day with out speaking to eachother. He has been great with me and the ...
A. 4 January 2011: Of course it is okay, you two are the only ones who can truly understand the other's situation. What better match could there be than someone who has gone through the same things you have? Do not be afraid of it, nothing is wrong here.
I hope tha... (read in full...)
I have a disfiguring condition. Will he stay with me?
Q. I feel so confused... Iv been with my boyfriend for 6 years now, and he was my first love, i was his. It feels so right and we both are very much in love. We started dating from when we were at school, i was always quite shy and he was loud..and ...
A. 4 January 2011: You are quite wrong. No matter what happens, you are still beautiful. Beauty penetrates mere flesh until all can see it. So what if it reaches your face? There are worse things to bare in life than a simple discolouration. You should still believe ... (read in full...)
Why do women so often go back to their abusers?
Q. Why are some women so stupid? Not trying to be sexist, trust me, this is why I said SOME women. Let me define, specifically women that will remain trapped in an abusive relationship, not only once, but then walk right back into it thinking it's...
A. 4 January 2011: It is a little presumptuous to call these women 'stupid' for returning to an abusive ex. It is after all a part of an abusive relationship, it is a physical, emotional and mental drive, a powerful delusion of improvement, progress and change. ... (read in full...)
Threesome gone terribly wrong...my husband is in love with her, my life is a mess and I'm pregnant with our 4th child!
Q. I feel like I'm at my wits end. I am so conflicted about what I should do that I am in a constant state of depression where it's almost debilitating. It all started about a year and a half ago. My husband and I have been married for 15 years and we ...
A. 4 January 2011: Stop being the supporter of his affair. That is what it is. You are married, you are his wife and yet here he is, so openly expressing his love for another woman and getting angry when you express that you do not want this to happen which only makes ... (read in full...)
Husband expects me to go down at him at all times when he wants it. If I say no he gets agressive. Should a wife treat sexual favours as a part of the job?
Q. So I have been with my husband for almost 7 years, married for about 3 and we have a 3 year old son. Our relationship has never been super wonderful but I’m still here and I am happy some times. My issue right now is sex. As a wife am I suppose...
A. 4 January 2011: I was so enraged when I read this, I did not bother reading what the other aunts had to say, I just had to start saying something so forgive me if I repeat what others have already said.
I suggest you leave this deranged bastard. Being a wife is ... (read in full...)
Is the porn industry corrupting me?
Q. My new years resolution would be not to masturbate while dating. Though since im not I do everyday after school ( Finished all my homework etc.) will it be hard to stop. the reason(s) are below 2. I heard that an over consumsion of Pornagra...
A. 3 January 2011: To be honest I do not think people should watch porn anyway. There are little to no benefits whatsoever, physically, emotionally or mentally. Masturbation is natural, it is perfectly healthy, just avoid doing so to pornography and I know that it ... (read in full...)
Does she actually think I would have a chance with a beautiful model?
Q. My gf and I were watching television the other day and an ad with this attractive model came on, she asked me, 'Would you approach her?', even though she knows I'm not the type to flirt with other women. She doesn't act like the insecure type a...
A. 3 January 2011: This made me laugh. Neither the job nor beauty makes the person so I know of no reason not to approach someone you are attracted to. It is good though that you would never think to stray from your girlfriend. This question she asked may not have ... (read in full...)
I'm scared he likes her more than me. He's dumped me and hurt me before. What are my options?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. He then asked for me back, telling me all he could think about was me and that he just wanted to be with me. He and I then went to hang out, and he wanted me to have sex with him. I kept telling him ...
A. 3 January 2011: Do not think too lowly of yourself. If you think your boyfriend is going to leave you for something physical I suggest you leave him. You do not need a superficial partner in your life. To be perfectly honest though, you should not be with him now. ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to interpret what these words imply and mean to our relationship?
Q. I'm Asian and my boyfriend (in his mid 30s) is American, I have a few questions here regarding endearment in English as I don't speak English as my first language. 1) we call eachother babe/baby, is that the title people only use on their spec...
A. 3 January 2011: 1) Babe/baby is usually a word used on someone you adore, someone precious to you.
2) That really depends on the person, some people are casual about calling people "honey" or "sweetheart", I would think in a relationship it means more.
3) I su... (read in full...)
I need options other than marriage!
Q. I seem to always meet the wrong guys, am beginning to feel maybe marriage is not meant for me. Am seriously considering remaining single and adopting a child. Is there any other alternative? Am just tried of been betrayed over and over again but ...
A. 3 January 2011: When you find someone, you need to wait a long time before even thinking about marriage. Some people get into marriages far too early and far too late to find out that their man is not what they thought he was.
Consider being single, consider... (read in full...)
I sent a boy embarassing pictures of myself
Q. Hello I'm seeking good advice these are the details to my DilEmma I'm an 18 tease old female soon to be 19 in a few months,I'm not a virgin but in FebuAry it will be a year since I decided sex is for marrige,the begginibg of my abstinence. Six mont...
A. 2 January 2011: Abstinence only means you need to free yourself from the physical nature of lust. I think out of habit, you sent him that picture but you can still tell him that your actions were not supposed to convey the meaning he might have received, apologize ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to abort our baby because his parents will otracise us
Q. I have been married for 1 year and have been with my husband for two (2) years. We have a 13 month old daughter together and he has a three (3) year old boy from a previous relationship, whom we have part-time custody of. My husbands parents were ...
A. 2 January 2011: I would not listen to his parents, they are not respecting your choices or views. You are not in their country and therefore you are free to make your own choices without worrying about disrespecting them. Your husband needs to make a choice, it is ... (read in full...)
I want to initiate an affair with a married friend of my wife and mine
Q. I am a married man,38. I have strong feelings for an older woman who is also married and is a friend of us. I can tell from her looks that she has the same feeling. Nothing has happened up to this moment, not a word expressed, nothing at all. Ca...
A. 2 January 2011: If you feel something towards this woman, you need to end things between you and your wife instead of betraying her this way. If this friend of yours has any amount of decency in her she will tell you the same and tell you that what you intend to do ... (read in full...)
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