A
female
age
41-50,
*arch eros
writes:hi! am march 40 yrs and had a perfect relationship with a young man at 23. just 5 days ago this perfect relationship ended just because he discovered that i had a new account at fb. and i have male friends there too. we had been living-in together for 7 months but i have to travel so we had been in a long distance for 9 months. but still the communication goes on like he calls 3 times a day while at ym for almost 24/7. did he ended the relationship just like that without listening to my explanation because he of his reason that i had new account in fb and that i had some male friends there and he suspects me of dating with them or has he just found someone younger for himself?
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female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (25 September 2012):
It could be an excuse to end the relationship but if it looks like you have aspects of your life which you have been keeping secret from him, then that would explain why he is angry.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 September 2012):
 I think only you can answer your own question , after considering what happened in the past leading to the current break up.
Pardon me if I doubt that the perfect relationship was really perfect.
Because, if we accept his explanation as good, that means he must have been very jealous, possessive . He did not want you to talk to other men, and did not trust your word when you said you were not dating anybody else.
These things can't have popped up all of a sudden. Have been there trusts issues on his side before, and were they totally irrational, or did he have any reason to doubt your committment ? Was he controlling, insecure, paranoid ? .. In this case, yes, it's possible that he is telling the truth- trust issues can gnaw at you until you just explode ( btw, why did you get a second Facebook account and why did you never tell your bf ? I can see how that could seem a bit suspicious. You may have been perfectly innocent, but that's exactly what serial cheaters do ).
Then again, I find very meaningful that the first thing that pops in your mind is doubting his reason for breaking up, and thinking it's an excuse for substituting with someone younger. This is alas quite possible, but, if the r/ship was perfect, and you trusted him, why is this the first thing that comes to your mind ? Did you have trust issues too ? motivated by...? Did he ever lie to you ? Did he ever show that the big age difference was a problem for him, did you catch him flirting with young girls, was he chomping at the bite when he saw his single friends going out ,flirting and hooking up ? was he talking about a future with you, or was it implied that this was just a transitional love ? Was he concerned about not being able of having kids in future, or of incurring in his family's disapproval...? In this case, yes, he may be bullshitting you- he wanted to break up and took your second account as an excuse.
My point is, that this out of the blue break ups are never really out of the blue, there are little signs, thinks that start creaking , so to speak; only, one of the parties , or both, chooses to overlook them and sweep them under the carpet. I think this was very possibly your case.
If you go over, honestly and dispassionately, what went on between you before the break up , I think you'll find by yourself the most realistically probable answer. The 100% absolute truth, alas, only he knows, and I don't think he 'll tell you.
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