A
female
age
36-40,
*vkiwi
writes:Here's my dilemma. I just got out of a 4yr long relationship. Right after the breakup, I started talking to another guy who recently got out of a 6 year relationship. I really liked him but I kept talking to my ex boyfriend. The new guy, would advice me to not go back to my bad relationship and was very supportive no matter what. Me and him would talk about having a future together, and he kept telling me that he wanted to make me his gf one day. I was not ready to let go of my ex but the new guy still stayed by my side. The new guy showed me he really cared about me and wanted to be with me, just a lot of interest in me. Since he had been broken up with his ex longer, he gave me words of encouragement and helped me move on. Now, I have been very comitted to the new guy and exclusive to him. I stopped talking and any contact with my ex for a while. Me and the new guy have a great relationship whatever it is and have become intimate. He hasn't made me his girlfriend yet. I'm concerned because I feel that now that he has me, he doesn't want to make the relationship official. He says he doesn't want to rush into anything so fast. I know he misses his ex gf and I feel that despite her not wanting anything to do with him, he is waiting for her. It seems that he is waiting for her to realize she still wants to be with him, and he is just waiting to take her back. He won't really talk about her because he says he doesn't want to get emotional. Even though she won't talk,see, or have anything to do with him, I strongly believe he will take her back. I know they have nothing anymore but I feel like I'm just on the side just in case she never comes back. I feel used. He says he feels comfortable around me and the more he is with me the more he loves me. Why doesn't he want to make me his gf? What's really his deal? I thought he moved on!I feel that I took a chance on him After I left my bf of 4 yrs, for nothing. Maybe me n my ex would still be together! I don't regret my decisions because I know its for the best. What should I do? Help
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): There's more to this than meets the eye with his ex ordeal. There's a reason why he's still waiting on his ex. Because they still talking and you know she stringing him along so he don't replace her with you. I really don't think spying is right but in your case I would sneak a look at his cell if he has one to check for texts and calls. I'd also check out his emails. Neither one of them willing to say bye bye.
A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (6 December 2010):
 Simple if he doesnt want to rush things then no sex til there is a commitment. Being intimate isnt rushing it whenyou not even together(not bashing you, pointing out his flaw) Have you tried telling him all this?
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