A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I need advice from women. Would you stay with a man who:-Smokes around you even though he knows you can't stand it and you are pregnant and don't want to be around that sort of thing (we've been in his vehicle and he won't even let me role down the window)-Has been fired twice from two different jobs in the last 6 months.-Who doesn't see a problem with leaving work early or showing up late-Who goes to his friends house on the day he gets fired instead of coming home or at least telling you-Who makes you look for a job for him instead of looking for one himself-Who complains when you do find him jobs, becuase he had other plans for that day that didn't include applying for a job-Complains when he has to help you do laundry (he doesn't like folding his own clothes and putting them away)-Get's extremely mad if we don't have sex even if I tell him I am sensitive in that area due to my pregnancy and cervical problem-Is only respectful and happy after we have sex-Who's made it clear that he doesn't like crying babies or dirty diapers, which leaves me with a lot of the parent hood duties-When he was making money he only deposited the amount he wanted to and kept anywhere from $50 to an extra $100 for himself (even though we both decided we were each allowed $50 every month for our "fun" money)-Relies on you to pay the bills even though the money he deposited each week won't cover the expenses-Caused you to shell out the $7000 you had saved up since you were 16 to make ends meet when the majority of the bills were his (i only had insurance and my cell phone)-Constantly complains about living in your parents house but wont make any effort in getting out-You have tried talking to him, but he doesn't want to hear what you have to say because he thinks your treating him like a child-Thinks it's okay to through objects at a nine year old girl hard enough to cause a welt, just because she threw it at him in a playful way.-Makes you do ALL the house hold chores (laundry, dishes, feeding and watering cat, etc...) Yet still doesn't think you diserve $50 of "his" money to spend on yourself-Puts you down for anything you didn't have time to do that day or things that where beyond your control (him getting fired, he actually thinks that I should have helped him get up every morning)-Even though you are unemployed due to the fact that you can't work because of the pregancy/cervical problem, he still expects there to be money left over in YOUR savings account to pay for his teeth (which he had ruined long before I new him and won't make an effort in saving the ones he still could)So, would you stay with this man? Please be honest and don't be mean (towards me anyway). I think the only reason I'm staying with him is because I need to make sure that the baby is taken care of and you can't care for a child without money. I also married him back in December 2008 (but I believe he made me think that he had changed by going to work on time and telling me what I wanted to hear when it came to the care of our child) So what are the steps you would take in leaving him, if you would?
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female
reader, bttrcpbrklyn1314 +, writes (10 March 2009):
 if u have to question whether or not u should be with someone odds are you shouldn't be with them...
A
female
reader, bttrcpbrklyn1314 +, writes (10 March 2009):
if u have to question whether or not u should be with someone odds are you shouldn't be with them...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): He sounds exactly like one of my ex-boyfriends! Who also happens to be my daughters dad.He would get fired from jobs,and not find another one until months later.I worked and he watched our daughter and my son,but would trash the house and refuse to help clean any of it.And was more concerned with hanging with his friends than finding work.Unfortunately these horrible qualities seem to surface only after living together/dating for some time.So I understand you probably are worried about your child not having a father in the household,and financial worries as well.But by my experience,he wont change.My ex still does the same things to all of his girlfriends,and they eventually get fed up and leave him too.You just have to put your mind to it.Come to a decision on whether you think its worth it to put up with his lazy/uncaring attitude.If you think its not worth it,then you shouldnt put up with it.There are better guys out there,and there is no reason to stay in an unhappy relationship if hes not willing to change some things.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 I'm no woman but seriously sweetheart He ABUSES CHILDREN isn't that enough, let alone the list of other things you have put here! If any woman says she would stay with this guy, she is either MENTAL or LYING!
I don't mean to be cruel but you can find a way to survive with out this guy, and you say you need him to take care of your children... are these the same ones that he hurts!
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