A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Would just being friends really work? I have a friend form work that I have been flirting around with for a while. People are always asking about us and telling me what a great girl she is, but she always seems to back track when ever we seem to be getting anywhere. Finally at a party I decided I neede to know where I stood at told her if she wasn't interest just to tell me, but that she knew that I was really fond of her. She told me that she does really like me, and does fancy me and the she trust me more than anyone because I am so genuine and doesn't want to hurt me or get hurt in the long run. She also said there were other guys she liked and that didn't seem right. She said she thought I could do better and deserved someone who adored me but knew she would be jealsous if I do find someone. I said if she liked the other guys more to tell me and I would walk away but she wouldn't and just repeated that she does really like me but everything was a bit of a blur. We agreed that we need to talk when we were more clear headed. I then got a text to say she said she didn't think it was worth risking our freindship for. Seeing as our freindship is based around the flirting about and knowing we fancy each other can it work? I think I would probably get to jealous seeing her with someon else. Though she doesn't seem to committ to anyone and is despite being very socially active no one has know her to have a boyfreind and she really goes on dates and then generally with guys she doesn't know. Feel a bit confused -I guess she just doesn't fancy me enough? and while she is such a loverly girl I would hate to lose her as a freind I think it will just lead to me getting more hurt?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): Thank s for the reply - rightly or wrongly we have agreed to have a talk so we know where each other stands and hopefully remove some akwardness - I think you are probably right that she perhaps isn't 100% attracted to me. I know its because my ego has had a hit but she has expected me to do the things for her I did before but at the moment I just don't have the apitite for it.
A
female
reader, mixedmetaphores  +, writes (12 November 2008):
Sounds like you answered your own question, "she told me... she doesn't want to hurt me or get hurt in the long run."
Seems that she has relationship issues. It's not the fact that she likes other blokes better; she likes you and respects you enough to protect you. This happens when the girl is not attracted to you 100%.
Right now she needs to work out whatever she is going through whether is it self doubt, wanting to be in a noncommittal for fun type relationship, or whatever, things need to be worked out on her terms on her timeline. Just keep on flirting and being a good guy then maybe she will come around in time.
Good Luck!
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